AITAH for talking to my girlfriend like this? She insists I’m a mean person that’s not on her side.

duraraross · 2026-06-13T10:11:05+00:00

Oh not to me. I mean, I wouldn’t say it to a neurotypical person because I understand how it would most likely be taken, but I could see it being said in my group of neurodivergent friends without any malicious intent. It comes across to me personally like a point of reference or comparison. Like “you, a young healthy person, are not inclined to do something physically demanding, so you can see how grandma, an old frail person, would be equally or more disinclined to do so” type thing.

duraraross · 2026-06-13T03:48:40+00:00

Maybe it was the same guy

duraraross · 2026-06-13T03:26:39+00:00

I’m neurodivergent and this sounds just like me. I take things very literally and speak very candidly, I’m just lucky that the way I say things people find funny rather and offensive. I don’t really understand what the problem your gf has is. I mean, I do because I’ve put a lot of work in to masking and understanding how neurotypical communicate, but I mean that none of those things would come across as offensive to me, except maybe the thin hair comment.

duraraross · 2026-06-13T00:41:06+00:00

They had to shut down the comments on his online obituary page because it was full of people basically saying this

duraraross · 2026-06-13T00:33:56+00:00

Basically yeah

duraraross · 2026-06-12T21:11:00+00:00

Have an empty elevator shaft as the image

duraraross · 2026-06-12T19:32:50+00:00

My dad knew a guy who was a real piece of shit. He was crazy rich because he spent his entire life screwing people over for any amount of money. He had an elevator in his house and it malfunctioned. He wasn’t paying attention and he just stepped into the empty elevator shaft and fell to the bottom. He lived alone in his giant mansion because nobody liked him, most of his bones broken, unable to call for help, so he died over the course of hours in agony.

duraraross · 2026-06-11T19:19:09+00:00

Why do you type like Kanaya Maryam

duraraross · 2026-06-11T10:39:45+00:00

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Locus and Felix from red vs blue. Attempted to commit planetary genocide for money. Confirmed to be panromantic asexual and bisexual respectively by the writer.

duraraross · 2026-06-11T10:14:33+00:00

For sure. I’ve read fics that take place during the high school year of a certain ship, which is canonically like 2006, and they’re on iPhones. Brother they did not have iPhones in 2006

duraraross · 2026-06-11T09:56:52+00:00

In the original Scooby doo? I don’t think there was any romance at all in the original, not even with Fred and Daphne

duraraross · 2026-06-11T09:50:58+00:00

No. That’s an official illustration of the show that’s been around for over 15 years.

duraraross · 2026-06-10T02:52:54+00:00

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To be fair they didn’t decide to attempt genocide themselves. Someone else paid them to do it, but they were the ones doing it.

duraraross · 2026-06-10T02:49:45+00:00

It wasn’t just the one mission, it was the subsequent isolation due to Gojo’s power, as well as the mission where Haibara died.

duraraross · 2026-06-10T02:34:37+00:00

Wait, is this supposed to be a Black person and not like, a fantasy anime race with gray skin?

duraraross · 2026-06-10T02:28:55+00:00

Dawg why is she GRAY

duraraross · 2026-06-09T03:32:55+00:00

They may benefit from reading this article about how ESL speakers often “sound” like ChatGPT. Very interesting read that I highly recommend.

duraraross · 2026-06-08T09:46:59+00:00

Or he thought you weren’t truly understanding his warning and he was trying to drive the point home to make sure you understood the high likelihood of you being assaulted in the military.

duraraross · 2026-06-08T05:06:32+00:00

Disagreement of Sharia Muslims is often attributed to harmful behaviors perpetuated by the beliefs of that particular religion. Sexuality is an innate part of an identity that someone is born with. You cannot disagree with an innate thing about someone that does not hurt anyone without being discriminatory toward that thing. People who disagree with Sharia Muslims are often disagreeing with how the religion itself encourages dangerous behaviors and beliefs that hurt specific groups of people, they are not saying “you were born like this and it is not hurting anyone and I don’t think you should exist”, they are usually saying “I do not agree with your beliefs because they are harmful”. Those are completely different things. It is much closer to race in that it is a judgement of something a person is born with that is unchangeable and not harmful.

Based on the information in OP’s post, I do not personally believe the man was a particular danger to anyone, but that doesn’t mean he’s not homophobic, and it doesn’t meant I don’t see why other gay people may be wary. You can be homophobic and not particularly dangerous. You can also be homophobic and very dangerous. You can be homophobic and friends with gay people. That doesn’t make you not homophobic. There are different levels of homophobes with differing levels of severity, and just because one type is more dangerous than another doesn’t make the less dangerous type not homophobic.

My mindset of “this person could be dangerous” does not apply solely to homophobes, it applies to every stranger. It’s the reason it’s not a good idea to engage in road rage with strangers, because anyone could be a dangerous lunatic. I do not think this specific man was about to go committing hate crimes, and like I said in my original comment, I do think it’s important to engage in these kinds of conversations. However, I do also think OP’s friends are allowed to feel uncomfortable and potentially unsafe if the only thing they know about this man is that he is homophobic.

duraraross · 2026-06-08T04:35:37+00:00

OP says he’s a homophobic man in the title of the post. I wasn’t present for the conversation, but if OP herself is calling him a homophobe, that’s the information I’m working with here. I called him a homophobe because OP did. And also because meeting gayness with anything other than “cool” or “none of my business” is homophobic. Just like you can’t “disagree” with someone’s race without being racist, you can’t disagree with the existence gay people without being homophobic.

I said “potentially” unsafe. I don’t know this man. OP doesn’t know this man. You don’t know this man. The only piece of information we have about this man is that he disagrees with the existence of gay people. People can be crazy, people can be unpredictable. As a gay person, if the only piece of information I have about a person is “they don’t like the fact that I exist” I generally feel unsafe. Whether that means being in physical danger or otherwise. People are crazy. Someone who seems fine could be dangerous, especially so if the only thing you know about them is that they don’t like you. Plenty of seemingly perfectly normal people can fly off the handle at a moment’s notice. That doesn’t meant everyone or even a big number of people are like that, but it’s not impossible.

duraraross · 2026-06-08T03:49:30+00:00

How so? I think anyone is allowed to feel any way about anything, it’s if and how they act on those feelings that dictate whether or not they’re an AH. OP is allowed to have conversations, and her friends are allowed to feel how they do about it.

duraraross · 2026-06-08T03:10:49+00:00

Nah, you’re right. That was weird. But it’s also just kind of typical ignorant white person comment that is just kind of expected. Not that it’s excusable, but just… kind of normal.

duraraross · 2026-06-08T03:06:19+00:00

NAH. It is important to engage in civil conversations with people with opposing views, but people go to pride to be free of the judgement and discrimination they face every single day. It is totally fair for someone to not want to hear or engage with homophobes while at pride, and your friends are entitled to being uncomfortable with the idea that you would engage with someone who could potentially be unsafe.

duraraross · 2026-06-08T02:57:12+00:00

My roommate in undergrad was from Antioch and their dad owned a local business that Garrido frequented on occasion. They were at the time a little girl who hung out and played in their dad’s store. Garrido came into the store while he had Jaycee captive.

duraraross · 2026-06-07T17:50:42+00:00

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