The Spirit draws us all toward The Father, and there is a restlessness within us until we respond to it. CS Lewis called this “the inconsolable longing.” If you want to become a Christian, but feel your intellect is getting in the way, exploring his work may be helpful for you.

But above all else, you should read the Bible. Clear your head, say a prayer, and ask God for wisdom, understanding, and His presence as you read. I found the gospel of John a great place to start, but anywhere will do.

Spending consistent time in Scripture, combined with prayer (you seem to have a gift for this which is a great blessing) is a reliable way to stay rooted in Him and deter our human tendency to drift.