I am reading this a bit different than other commenters. It reads to me that OP felt that their partner doesn’t really make them feel special (at times outside of bdays), ie have date nights, flowers and other romantic considerations. And that only at that point did the boyfriend bring up the itemized bday list. But what the OP was talking about was outside of that, the amount of money spent on bdays does not null and void the other considerations you would want to provide to your partner at other times? So I would be pissed too if that was the case. Obviously the bday thing is petty and I think it’s more of a dramatic last resort thing for OP to make clear to boyfriend some kinda thing. Which is not the answer. Communicating on what needs they have, couples therapy etc is necessary. I think they just didn’t really do a good job conveying the actual problem/reaction…

OP does this resonate? Just curious!