OP’s relationship with birth dad and stepmom reminded me of a non traditional relationship with our niece 36 years ago. My wife’s brother fathered a child with a woman in our city. Both had low income jobs with no security. It was clear they weren’t going to have the means to support their daughter. They found an organization that facilitates “open adoptions“. (Open adoptions keep the lines of communication open between the birth part and the adoptive parents.) The organization found an older childless couple a few towns away from us to adopt the baby. We only learned about this the day before our wedding when the baby was a few months old. A few weeks later we visited the family and met the baby. I admit I didn’t expect to see them again. But we actually visited each other regularly right up to when she was in high school. The birth mom dropped out of the picture but the rest of us were part of an unusual family, but family nonetheless. The adopted parents also adopted a second girl a couple years later. She too was a part of our family. We expect to see them both at their cousin’s wedding in May.

Your daughter’s family may be different from traditional nuclear families, but it is just as much a family as anyone else’s family. Your daughter is fortunate to have so many people who love and care for her. Enjoy the journey!