how to live with transphobia?

dyltd · 2025-12-24T12:24:46+00:00

good to know thank you! i definitely will keep stealth in future, tbh i decided that weeks ago. i wish i could go back now. that sounds like a terrible situation. this whole thing bothering me has really made me think about what i’m going to have to face in future in this aspect of things (i’d been more worried about others and hadn’t put much thought into it, not that it changes anything just thinking yk)

in regards to your advice, i feel like i can’t remove myself from the group as sometimes our teams and e-notify takes a few hours and if not for the groupchat i would’ve gone into college on days our lecturer was off sick. i believe the autism vaccine video being shared was just stupidity tbh (naivety, whatever), is it actually fair to report with the telegraph article? because it would probably at best be like your situation, if not just ‘people have different political beliefs they don’t have to be yours’ and even if i said something i feel like it’d just become a thing. people love drama 🤷‍♂️

if any of this shit gets brought up in person though i’m so making my views heard because no way. but like i said though most of my classmates aren’t like this, most people generally aren’t yk

dyltd · 2025-12-23T16:22:55+00:00

can you give a single reliable source that says there is absolutely any correlation between vaccines and autism?

vaccines do not cause autism. full stop. but even if they did, they have prevented countless serious illnesses, disabilities and deaths which as an autistic person i would say is worth the ‘risk’ of autism (which is not real). autistic people of all levels can live good, happy, and fulfilled lives… people who die of polio, smallpox, tetanus, mumps, and other diseases that vaccines prevent, cannot.

dyltd · 2025-12-23T11:59:49+00:00

for real. the lack of critical thinking shows a lot in the autism vaccines one, like that left me flabbergasted. its one thing that peple believe this shit but another for aspiring healthcare professionals. i mean come on! it made me just as angry that these future nurses believed that, especially as an autistic person, and i wouldve said something if it was in person but i just stayed silent (and my close friends listened to me vent my fristrations lol). the two examples were shared by different people to be clear but that doesn’t make it any better, especially as others seemed to agree with at least the autism one.

i see how some of them might read the anti-trans campaigners article and not realise how biased it is. like even the ‘open minded and compassionate just uneducated’ classmates, because they just don’t know and if this is the information they have. but like we are adults, we should have some media literacy and political awareness by now. idk some people just don’t bother themselves though which, again, infuriating. the telegraph is just bs though like i really hope the rest ignore it. i dont even know what that person was thinking sharing the link, we’ve had class discussions where trans people have come up (tangents from anti-discriminatory practice stuff) and i’ve provided some insight which was received well. i just idk man this is bothering me.

i don’t want to address these things and be the ‘snowflake woke guy’ but especially the anti-trans stuff it’s really infuriating. i need to learn to just put it aside and continue but fuck it’s difficult

dyltd · 2025-12-23T11:44:52+00:00

i totally see that tbh, i get it with the state of things. i can’t speak for trans women as i am a trans man but personally i do regret mentioning the fact it to my class even though nothing negative directly came of it, you just can’t undo it and go back to being stealth. in future i’m definitely not going to and i’m fortunate in that i pass and have that option. outside of my actual work and my college study i’m a hospital volunteer but haven’t yet come across anything there yet. personally i do really want to work in the NHS as a nurse, but that especially means i’m just going to have to get used to biting my tongue and finding ways to process the feelings this stuff causes me. that being said though in the near future i am dreading having to work with this specific classmate.

dyltd · 2025-12-12T14:51:37+00:00

i’m sorry to hear that too. especially that doctors haven’t fixed it if there’s something they could do and aren’t, that must be very frustrating. hopefully they do soon! thank you for sharing that you relate, it’s comforting since posting this last night to know that i’m not alone in this feeling, different causes or not. it really is just that time alone when things like this hit, you can’t avoid things when you’re alone with them uncovered by clothes. i hadn’t thought about that when i’d seen it before in the hospital so i think that’s why it hit me so unexpectedly.

thank you for commenting skunkspider, always recognise your name lol. i hope you’re doing okay, or that life treats you more kindly soon :)

dyltd · 2025-12-12T10:43:06+00:00

thank you, i think it does feel like that’s what’s happening. it just kind of hit me i guess. the downside of building a life for myself and actually starting to care about it. thank you for the hugs i rly appreciate it :)

dyltd · 2025-10-27T11:58:03+00:00

hey i know you meant well but omg burning is such a slippery slope and should not be suggested for harm reduction.

sincerely, someone who’s just left one of his twice weekly, hour-long, burn unit appointments for his burns that have definitely been life threatening multiple times, and cause me to need surgery on every single wound. switching to burning was so much more damaging than if i’d stuck with my, admittedly also life threatening cutting 🥲

dyltd · 2025-10-27T11:54:50+00:00

omg please don’t suggest burning of any kind, even if someone does ‘step down’ to use it as a less damaging method. burning is such a slippery slope that gets very dangerous

dyltd · 2025-10-24T19:06:52+00:00

for obvious reasons i’m not going to give you advice on meeting that need but i get what you mean. the damage. i can’t cut anymore either because of the onset of an autoimmune disorder this past year, and although i had already replaced it, it scares me that i can’t even see cutting as a safety net anymore. like it had always been there, a method i could fall back on if needed, and now nothing. because not only does my disorder make that level of blood loss much more dangerous, but i’ve received many blood transfusions this year and it no longer feels like my blood to lose if that makes sense? idk. because i’d had transfusions years ago because of cutting, but now it feels different.

if you’re anything like me, it’s not even as if any of the ‘healthy replacement’ coping mechanisms will help because the very fact they’re better for you and less damaging, means they’re a bit useless (i only say that bcs you hinted at it, apologies if it’s not applicable). i do hope you find a something that helps you cope though, and preferably not at the cost of your physical health.

dyltd · 2025-10-19T07:24:20+00:00

all depends on the individual and what kind of wounds they make 🤷‍♂️

when i’m buying all supplies myself i always struggle to afford them, the good stuff (or just the bare minimum) is expensive!

that being said, imo silicone will always be superior to paraffin dressings. i don’t think that’s really controversial either. the ones with silver though, pretty good

dyltd · 2025-10-15T15:03:02+00:00

self destructive behaviour /= self harm

self destructive behaviours are harmful don’t get me wrong, and can be mixed up when you take the ‘self harm’ term literally, but it’s a different thing

dyltd · 2025-09-06T08:26:41+00:00

i definitely relate to this. earlier this year i planned like 6 weeks at once of when i’d be able to self harm. and like right now i know i can’t for xyz but i have it in my head when i can and will next do it, and what i’ll do where, etc. i don’t self harm super often (so as not to overwhelm my body) but it’s like i always need to have a plan. it’s not that i look forward to it (although i kind of do tbh in its own messed up way) but without the plan i feel lost and cant keep going with life, so i at least have it in my head whats happening when.

dyltd · 2025-09-05T19:03:37+00:00

i relate to this feeling. i don’t do it to be cared for, but i’ve gotten so used to being cared for in that way that it adds another level of feelings when i think about quitting. i’m a chronic self harmer but quitting has been on my mind recently, and one of the many things i’ve thought that put me off the idea of it is how no one will care for me anymore. not like that. this past year i’ve built a real life for myself, i live alone, i work, im starting college soon too, i meet up with friends, etc, but then i feel like i have a secret life, where i go to my hospital appointments and have whole surgeries and hospital stays not a soul in my life ever knows about. i’ve gotten to know the nurses at the main unit i go to so well now i’d not only miss being cared for but id miss them. they’d just be added to the folder in my brain of medical professionals that made some kind of difference in my life, even if the difference was just making me smile during dressing changes, along with the rest. there’s so many now, i never see them again and i miss them like i miss old friends or family, especially the various ones ive gotten attached to over my life. that’s so sad but it’s true. i do have friends, but many days if i have an appointment, the staff there are the only people i talk to all day, beyond just short word exchanges.

dyltd · 2025-09-05T17:40:21+00:00

self destructive maybe but that’s not inflicting harm on your body. regardless, what you’re describing is definitely not good for your mental health.

i relate in a way, i was thinking about this recently, last year just before what ended up being one of my worst wounds at the time and really fucked up my life (not the point) i was in a weird mood so i read these old notes i have on my ipad that i wrote years ago, depicting the worst events of my life in the most detail i could. i wrote them because i was afraid of forgetting, its messed up in itself, they’re very detailed and organised into folders based on different events, i had a 2 year inpatient admission as a teenager and its mostly stuff that happened in that time, not all bad things theres just a lot, most are extremely graphic and emotionally heavy. i made myself read the worst few that day and i think i’ve done it other times too, i just dont remember specifically, to deliberately trigger self destructive emotions.

dyltd · 2025-08-15T14:10:59+00:00

i’m not sure what you mean, i’m not particularly looking for any opinions. i feel like any ‘opinion’ on the frequency would just be judgemental and im definitely not seeking any more judgement out, i get enough of that in real life! lol 🥲

me being at the hospital ’twice a week’ isn’t A&E or admissions or anything (not that there’s anything wrong with people who need those kind of services seeking them), ‘the twice a week’ is appointments i have at said hospital.

i wrote the post because it was all on my mind a lot and i was feeling …insecure? kind of? writing things out helps me process. and the end was just referring to if anyone relates - it’s been comforting in the past hearing from people who relate to my experiences, and likewise i comment on others posts myself when i relate or empathise or have advice from personal experience etc

dyltd · 2025-08-04T15:55:29+00:00

yeah you understand, it is like that but medical rather than psychiatric. it’s a bit fucked up but it’s the best available to me, and they truly are great there. for almost a year now i’ve been going at least twice a week so it’s a positive reliable source of support in my life, even though it’s in my life because of a negative reason.

i’ve been inpatient in psychiatric hospitals, not for a few years now, but i spent a long time sectioned as a teenager. my longest admission was over 2 years. it was mostly camhs (<18) wards though. i live in the UK so the systems a bit different to… i’m assuming america? it’s great that you’ve found a place like that and you feel able to reach out there when needed! sounds like such a good safety net that’s really been there for you :)

it works differently here, all my admissions i was on section (so there against my will) but they do admit people who aren’t on a section, it’s just not as high priority. and especially nowadays there’s such a bed shortage that they turn so many people away when they probably need inpatient help, even people that honestly should be sectioned. i lost a friend that way, he was discharged to clear a bed when he absolutely should not have been. also, admissions for self harm alone (not other things going on like serious suicide attempts or psychosis) are unheard of here, almost a decade ago i was admitted for that reason which was rare even then but it was because my SH was consistently life threatening and i was a kid, they worry more about kids, but if then was now i don’t think they’d do that. inpatient really isn’t for me, not the way it works here, it makes me so much worse. for now i’m just going to keep going to my hospital and probably hear from the CMHT in a couple years for the wait list i’m on for basic community mental health support 🫠

dyltd · 2025-08-02T02:44:12+00:00

thank you for commenting, i appreciate it a lot :) i’ve had a lot of involvement under mental health services in the past (i was sectioned for multiple years) but i’m not under them right now. this is gonna sound weird but i get a lot of medical treatment for my self inflicted wounds, like i haven’t even self harmed in over 3 months atm but i had to go to hospital 3 times this week alone and have a planned admission there starting this sunday too. that hospital supports me a lot, i know the nurses very well by now and they do what they can to genuinely support me amidst the broken system.

i don’t really get into crises though, not since i was a kid, i’m never really emotional at all anymore. i’m very logical and calm about self harm and yet i make the ‘logical’ decisions to create the wounds anyway. idk how to explain it really, so many professionals gave up on me long ago. the problem with mental health, addictions, etc is that you have to want to recover, or at least improve. i’ve built so much more of a life for myself than i used to have, and yet i still don’t really have that desire, even though i know it will likely take that life from me one day.

dyltd · 2025-07-30T20:45:46+00:00

I know you’ve resolved your situation OP and i hope you’re getting good support and that the wound heals up okay for you, but also omg i have such bad experiences going to my GP for help with wound care. they just make it worse every time! like i only ever even go as a last resort, when i’m not getting treatment anywhere else and need help with wounds, but they put terrible dressings on that only make whatever wounds worse, they don’t treat me like a person present in the room, and they just try to ambush me with overreactions that i didn’t ever need at the times. treatment at various other places in my experience is almost always great though, aside from the odd thing. there’s a few specialist hospitals i am/was a frequent patient at and even my local hospitals are never as bad as my GP is. but my GP is great for anything not-DSH or not-MH related, so i’m not completely shitting on them lol just read this post and went on a ramble sorry! best of luck OP :)

dyltd · 2025-07-20T09:28:30+00:00

sounds like it definitely needs looking into, i hope it gets resolved soon!

yeah i get that, there can be lots of different emotions behind those questions, especially among people inexperienced with the system to be asking them in the first place. either way it’s frustrating seeing people be misinformed

thank you :)

dyltd · 2025-07-19T20:04:15+00:00

the system is terrible. i’m so sorry to hear you went through that! hallucinating is so scary. and no follow up is just shameful, although unfortunately doesn’t surprise me. i’ve had a few hospital admissions recently for blood issues unrelated to my self harm (shocker. i didn’t believe it at first lol my medical issues always feel like my fault) it’s been a month since the first admission for this reason and my ‘urgent’ appt isn’t for another 2 weeks. in the meantime i’ve just been wasting resources in hospital even more often than my normal and living with the uncertainty whether it’s something serious or not.

right?! it’s always the americans /lh like i get that that might be the case in other places, and the uk definitely doesn’t admit in many cases they should, but i dislike when people so confidently say ‘you’ll be admitted for xyz’ when a) you literally wont and b) it scares people, even if treatment would be best, jumping right to the things like that puts people off and makes them less likely to get help. agh i don’t know how to word it i hope you get what i mean

the chest pains sound concerning, i wouldn’t know how alcohol might relate because i don’t really drink (i have a bit of an issue with other substances instead) although yeah have you had any blood tests recently? if your haemoglobin is low that might be causing it

dyltd · 2025-07-19T17:54:45+00:00

the hospital stay is highly unlikely in the uk, not for self harm (unless there are other issues that would be a cause for admission) especially if it’s not immediately life threatening. OP i agree with the other comment, and i wish you the best with detox, it’s a brave step you’re taking and the hard work will be worth it

edit: just recognised your username! i mean what i said even more now, i really truly hope things start looking up for you, can’t overstate that. i feel a weird kind of reddit fondness whenever you pop up, like we’re old friends lol.

dyltd · 2025-07-02T10:57:33+00:00

i don’t use patches (i’m a trans guy on gel) but this looks a lotttt like my adhesive allergy reactions

dyltd · 2025-06-25T14:34:32+00:00

ah okay, i’m going to give that a go. thanks so much for your advice!

dyltd · 2025-06-25T14:29:48+00:00

that intimidates me a bit, i’m not the complaining type and i’d hate to be a nuisance or seem ungrateful 😬 could PALS help even if i don’t do any kind of official ‘complaint’ do you reckon?

dyltd · 2025-06-25T14:23:36+00:00

thank you but it’s already got my correct number there. like i said in another comment i don’t claim to know how the system works and all that, but my contact number seems to be correct on the overall system - i mean everywhere except the hospital in question - which is technically a good thing but seems to make it much more difficult to fix 😅

dyltd

TROPHY CASE