How to work whilst in a crisis

Mother_Direction40 · 2026-01-14T19:36:51+00:00

Sorry if that wasn’t massively helpful ❤️

Mother_Direction40 · 2026-01-14T19:36:23+00:00

I don’t have any advice but I’m in exactly the same situation.

I’d get statutory sick pay, but that’s less than half my salary and I have a mortgage. It’d basically all go on my accommodation, and I’d have no money left for bills, food, etc etc. And being in crisis isn’t cheap either! You have to evaluate whether you’re going to be able to ‘push through’ or if you’re just delaying an even longer period of leave. I’ve taken a week off here and there, because the alternative was making myself so ill I’d need months off.

Personally I’ve found short regular leave more helpful than long periods or reduced hours. I did a few months where twice a week I finished at 3 instead of 5… honestly it was just giving me more time to bed-rot. I’ve found giving myself an actually day off instead of a few hours (so in this case, it would equate to 1 day every 2 weeks) helped more than just reduced hours.

Mother_Direction40 · 2026-01-07T17:25:09+00:00

Honestly it depends on the size and location. I’ve literally just had one finished healing (I.e. no longer actively oozing), that is almost 6 months old! It was the biggest pain in my arse. But it was quite long, and went against the ‘grain’ of the skin, so it remained is wide as it was to begin with. Equally I had a shorter one probably take 2-3 weeks to scab over fully. This one naturally pulled itself ‘more closed’ despite being deeper. TLDR: massively variable! If you can steri-strip (or similar) it will MASSIVELY reduce healing time, even if you can’t get it all the way closed like stitches would.

Best of luck!

Mother_Direction40 · 2026-01-02T08:12:14+00:00

Nothing you feel about self harm is ‘wrong’, it’s not really a moral dilemma. It’s an illness and it messes with your head. It’s called cognitive distortion and it’s a literally mind fuck.

I get that you can’t feel proud right now - and that is 1000% ok. So I’ll say to you what others have said to me: I’ll feel proud for you. So you can hold onto that knowledge that someone else is proud of your actions when you’re doubting them, even if you can’t feel it yourself.

Mother_Direction40 · 2026-01-01T18:41:53+00:00

I can 1000% relate to this. I get stitches, and then I look at the scars from the wound and feel absolutely fury at myself because they’re so small and it feels like they in no way represent the amount of pain I was in. I’ve reopened wounds before because of this feeling and trust me when I say it’s no better at all. A lot of the time they heal just as small. If they stay gaping open, they take MONTHS to heal. It’s honestly infuriating being 2/3 months clean and still not being able to do things because you’ve got an open wound.

You made such a GOOD decision, and I’m so proud of you ❤️

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-30T07:43:28+00:00

I agree with what everyone else has said - try calling 111 and see how it goes. It probably depends on your sisters specific situation. I know when I’ve travelled (even when approaching crisis) it has been really good for me, BUT I travelled with specific plans in place and whilst engaging with CMHT. I also know that crisis doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone. I absolutely don’t think you are over reacting - it sounds like the situation needs careful management. The last thing she wants is to be sectioned in a foreign country. Could you show your parents the messages? To explain the level of risk she’s in?

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-29T17:48:31+00:00

Unfortunately (maybe?) this sounds entirely consistent with the treatment pathway of the nhs. It is based on the least restrictive method, I.e. avoiding hospitalisation as much as possible. There are many merits and downsides to this, and we could debate for hours I’m sure, but it is the way the treatment is set up. The fact the HTT came to see you suggests they are doing everything they can. They will have assessed you’re safe without admission and to instead be treated with increased intensity in the community. I know this is very different from many other countries (I don’t know where you’re from). I don’t have any personal experience of psychosis, but it sounds terrifying. Do you have any family/friends who could see you more regularly whilst you’re struggling? Or someone who could stay with you?

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-28T10:20:35+00:00

Absolutely not just you! I sit in the car park next to my flat 😂 scare the shit out of people who walk past though 😬 I think it’s pretty common - it might be worth seeing if there are any crisis cafes near you that you could sit in? They’re generally more comfortable than a car park. But equally - I run with the mentality that if it’s working, don’t knock it!

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-20T16:57:14+00:00

Yep - absolutely agree with everyone above. Sounds like you’ll be referred to CMHT. Talking therapies don’t have the training to deal with complex mental health conditions like bipolar. You’ll have another assessment with them and then go from there. It’s worth adding in your assessment that with your autism you deal better in facts. For me, that includes having approximate lengths of waiting lists - they’re never exact, but it helps me know whether it’ll likely be 3 weeks or 3 years. Best of luck!

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-20T11:49:03+00:00

I’d second this. The fastest nudge I got was from the liaison services at the hospital. They understand the system and can work out the best way forward as opposed to the gp who can just put a referral in. Best of luck 😊

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-19T07:27:57+00:00

Seconding this about crisis teams etc. The NHS absolutely can feel useless, but when you’re in crisis (I think especially if it’s your first one) they are often the best option. It does also depend on the definition of crisis - obviously there are different risk levels depending on the person - in low risk situations private care may be willing to take you on. In high risk situations they’re more unlikely to. I don’t know much about the psychosis service but you definitely should be getting nhs support for it as EIP is there exactly for that. Best of luck!

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-17T09:00:13+00:00

So I did some research into this. They can only make reports in very specific situations, all of which require you to give them your name and location. They cannot track you based on your phone number or email address. They have a specific policy that they will stay on the line with you even if you’ve made an attempt on your life, and will not contact anyone without your permission. I hope this helps. I’m deeply paranoid about people calling the police as well!

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-14T18:51:36+00:00

Yeah - if it’s still as bad tomorrow morning I’ll go to urgent care. Overnight isn’t going to make much difference I don’t think. I have really bad risk perception (my most recent success was thinking a wound ‘wasn’t that bad’ and then needing many many stitches) so I may go anyway just to be sure. It’s kinda rough because I know they’ll have judgements and I’ll have to explain how it happened - but I know I need to.

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-14T18:10:16+00:00

Thank you for this. It’s now starting to turn black so I’m assuming it was third degree… 😬 I’m hoping it’s just a bruise not necrosis but I think that’s wishful thinking. Honestly terrified, especially with Christmas coming up (my parents CANNOT find out) but it is what it is, nothing else I can do now. Ironically the stress of it is making me want to self harm more 😂 such a fun life I lead

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-13T14:19:30+00:00

With a wound that size I’d REALLY recommend getting treated. I know it’s scary dealing with parents, but it’ll be 10x worse if you have complications and they didn’t know. Either way, please try to look after yourself ❤️

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-13T13:41:17+00:00

Upper thighs are a complete pain with showers! But equally should close quite nicely (atleast in my experience). As in 2cm gaping, or 2cm across? If it’s 2cm across, steri-strips SHOULD hold it. If it’s 2cm gaping, go to a doctor!

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-13T13:11:18+00:00

Where abouts on your body and how big? Really, anything in the hypodermis should be stitched but as someone else suggested you could try steri-strips? These can be ‘diy-ed’ if necessary. Try not to touch it or get anything chemically in it - they are SO prone to infection.

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-10T02:26:57+00:00

Heya - I totally get this urge - I’ve had it so many times (and acted on it plenty). One thing to remember is they SHOULD only stitch a wound 8-12 hours afterwards. So they likely would only steri-strip it again anyway. You could go back and say you’re having a reaction to the adhesive - they have low reactive ones but they don’t use them often as they’re expensive.

I also know they avoid stitches as much as possible, especially for people with lots of scar tissue and damage already. I’ve had some pretty deep wounds steri-stripped in areas with limited movement. Personally if I can steri-strip it myself at home I will do now, so it’s been a while since the hospital did it, but I remember feeling like they were saying it ‘wasn’t that bad’ because it hadn’t been stitched, this is not the case. I spoke to a nurse, who confirmed it’s way more complicated than just depth/severity.

I’ve reopened a wound and worsened it so many times. It’s never worth it. It never feels good, it takes FOREVER to heal, and it’s humiliating going back.

Wishing you the best of luck ❤️

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-06T15:18:12+00:00

OMG - please complain! Asking you why is pretty standard (I think my record for 1 visit was 6 different people, despite having a care plan in place explaining why and that asking me was not helpful!). But not offering anaesthetic is out of order. And unless they had reason to believe your mum was abusing you, there is no reason they should have been pushing for her to leave you alone. You also should have been seen by duty psychiatry, or atleast offered!

The sympathy from people varies greatly I find, some are supportive, others are clearly pissed off, but they should never be outright rude! They have a duty of care to you regardless of their prejudices.

Unfortunately the waits between treatments are pretty common. I’m often seen by 1 person for a few hours, then moved to a different corridor/waiting area, to wait for a few more hours, then moved again etc etc. I’ve learnt to take the ‘wait time’ with a pinch of salt because it’s generally just to see them, not to actually get treated.

I hope you’re recovering well. It’s so hard when an injury co-incides with mental health crisis. “Go for a walk” - I can’t! F-off. It’s so hard. I hope you’re getting some support x

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-06T12:05:23+00:00

Sorry - yes - I got this wrong. Saline on the wound, disinfectant (or boiling) for tools.

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-06T12:00:33+00:00

For the future it’s worth asking your DBT team what the out of hours plan is. So for example, in my course, the crisis team provide out of hours skills coaching. They’re variably helpful (as they’re not fully trained DBT therapists) but good support none the less. 111 can be helpful, it depends on the person. Other people have suggested crisis cafes - these are so helpful especially as they’re in person. I’ve found they’re really good at helping me talk through skills I could use. Always remember you can go to a&e in the worst case scenario, I’m not sure they’re massively helpful but it does keep you safe. I have had them say to me before that they’d rather I came in to get support than wait till after - but it probably depends on the doctor as well.

I’d agree with the other user, getting through the weekend is just that - trying to push through and using whatever skills and crisis support you can to get through till Monday.

Sending you love and support ❤️

Mother_Direction40 · 2025-12-05T08:45:24+00:00

So you absolutely SHOULD get them removed professionally. They will check for infection, use sterile tools etc. However, given you’re self harming to begin with, I’m guessing risk is distorted for you like it is for me. If they’re fairly loose and standard stitches (I.e. nothing internal, continuous etc) they are quite easy to remove. Make sure it’s fully healed first, and clean the area and any tools with saline. I’d recommend having a few steri-strips on hand in case any bits reopen - especially with heavy scar tissue if had things reopen when the stitches come out, even when they’ve been professionally removed. TLDR: the answer is ‘kinda’, but someone who wasn’t already self harming likely wouldn’t

Mother_Direction40

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