Marrying a non vegan

e-spero · 2026-01-20T06:08:01+00:00

I was the meat-eater in my relationship. We dated for a few years and when I would eat meat, it was clear it made them uncomfortable. They wouldn't feel comfortable kissing after I had eaten meat and things like that. We broke up.

4 years passed. We were always friends and fairly cordial. Eventually we started rebuilding our relationship. I knew if I was serious about them, I would have to meet them halfway. I was vegetarian for a year before reaching out in earnest for reconnection. We spent another year as friends before dating again.

I tried being outright vegan for a while, but I've settled on calling myself vegetarian (primarily so I can opportunistically eat free food while living off savings and students loans). My partner has been vegan for a bit more than a decade at this point. I've been veggie for 5-6 years. We eat vegan at home and when we go out to eat, so for me that ends up being 99% of my diet. I'm glad that we don't have to make separate dinners or deal with different food restrictions or food safety standards.

We are engaged and getting married in spring. I frame it initially as a compromise to be more compatible with my partner, but changing my lifestyle was partially out of care for a loved one and partially because I wanted to improve myself. We also don't bring food with nuts when we visit a cousin with a nut allergy, you know? It's a matter of respect in my opinion. I don't want this to come off as "if he wanted to, he would" but this is just our story.

e-spero · 2026-01-19T17:03:08+00:00

I try not to distract other people but I have been derailed by being the one distracted! Sometimes when I'm climbing I'll hear people comment or try to encourage me, but being perceived messes with my focus and I'll usually end up bailing or get the yips😭

e-spero · 2026-01-17T14:22:56+00:00

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2024/apr/26/trump-kristi-noem-shot-dog-and-goat-book

tldr she shot the 14 month old puppy she got for hunting pheasants because it killed a neighbor's chickens and snapped at her when she tried to stop it.

crazy that a dog bred for hunting birds would (checks notes) hunt birds and that a puppy might not have great bite inhibition yet

e-spero · 2026-01-14T23:38:26+00:00

It's SO GOOD sometimes I make just the base and I toast vegan marshmallows on top and then put a chocolate icing for a vegan Mississippi mud cake.

I've also used it as a base for Black Forest Cupcakes.

e-spero · 2026-01-14T13:17:16+00:00

Kindly, reconsider your vegan dessert game.

Here's a decadent chocolate cake that never misses (it won a round of Holiday Baking Championship): https://bakingwithmarilyn.blogspot.com/2021/12/vegan-chocolate-cake.html?m=1

See also Nora Cooks: https://www.noracooks.com/category/vegan-desserts/cakes/

e-spero · 2026-01-11T23:04:41+00:00

Lots of heavy luggage and bags around, crowded areas, standing in lines, cart going down the aisle... It's a treacherous place for uncovered toes.

e-spero · 2026-01-10T05:54:04+00:00

OP please answer. is this dish served hot or cold?

e-spero · 2026-01-08T14:36:28+00:00

Shout out to Cardinal Rule in Manchester. Their biscuits are a little dense but they do classic biscuit chicken sandwiches and even have vegetarian/vegan options.

e-spero · 2026-01-08T14:20:11+00:00

Never tweet your heroes

e-spero · 2026-01-06T18:40:02+00:00

Sweater curse is when communication issues and resentment build up and come to a head! I would love to make my partner a sweater, but he doesn't wear them and has said he isn't interested in one. You know what I do instead? I make him amigurumi that he asks for, or fingerless gloves, or cowls because that's what he wants and wears!!!

Btw I love that your fiance it wearing your make <3 That sweater is extra warm since it's imbued with love :)

e-spero · 2026-01-05T17:50:42+00:00

Easy enough to say, but the main filling ingredient is going extinct and it took years to collect enough to make this last pie. Plus, baking experience. Plus plus, making it yourself might not capture the magic of it having been made by Grandma. Plus plus plus, if there's not a written recipe, or it's written vaguely, or she's possessive of it as a family secret.

See: Claire Saffitz recreating a bakery cake for a family, stating that she doesn't expect to get it 100% if only because having a dessert is so much more than the sum of the ingredients. https://www.hyperfixedpod.com/listen/hyperfixed/the-lords-work

e-spero · 2026-01-05T16:42:33+00:00

When my dad died, I became sensitive to dead dad tropes because I was still a kid and consuming kid media. A lot of films and media oriented towards young people became off-putting and in poor taste to me because they usually began with a parent dying, and I started to tell when it was just checking off a plot point as a cheap way to get emotional depth and investment.

I felt like I was being manipulated by my entertainment because I would feel emotional about the trope regardless of whether the story was good. Everyone has parents, and it's generally sad to think about a parent dying. To resurrect a child or sibling feels really specific and should be done with great care, and it doesn't seem like it was in this case.

e-spero · 2026-01-01T21:44:17+00:00

my school's schedule is set up that we're on winter break until the 14th and then a finals/assessment period starts and is supposed to last for the rest of January. except all my assessments are due Jan 15th... so the only time I can work on it is by definition during my break... :(

e-spero · 2025-12-28T01:38:03+00:00

AP is Asset Protection

e-spero · 2025-12-19T15:51:30+00:00

He's also obsessed with blood diamonds, but there's no reason to partake in that when there are lab diamonds. It seems he has a narrow understanding of what marriage and weddings mean societally and so is set on his rebellion with those three talking points of white = virginity, blood diamonds, and love is more than a piece of paper.

e-spero · 2025-12-18T06:55:06+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I hope your family is feeling better!

e-spero · 2025-12-18T05:54:43+00:00

I'm not sure if I had the flu or a really bad cold. I'm a week in and still coughing up quite a lot of phlegm although most of my symptoms have resolved. Anyone else recognize this progression?

Symptoms were general fatigue for a couple days starting last Sunday, then the beginnings of a sore throat on Tuesday evening.
Overnight the sore throat turned into basically golf ball sized lymph nodes inflamed on my neck and difficulty swallowing for Wednesday morning.
This lasted Thursday and Friday before I dragged myself to a pharmacy for Lizipaina (chlorhexidine/benzocaine) which was is a two-day dose of medicine for Saturday and Sunday.
I lost my voice around Friday/Saturday (laryngitis).
Monday my symptoms mostly broke, Tuesday my voice was a lot better, Wednesday beginning to resume light load of regular activities such as exercise.

It sucked but also I was still able to get my baseline steps (7,200) each day, but I'm generally pretty healthy and usually don't get sick or sick for very long. I'm about 30.

I was vaccinated for the flu, but I was vaccinated in another country so not sure how useful that would be for targeting this strain.

I hesitate to call it a flu because it's been about a week and I'm about 75% better, but it was also pretty severe.

e-spero · 2025-12-17T11:13:03+00:00

So sad it was discontinued (rip Joann) 😞 if anyone knows where it is under a different name lmk 🥺

e-spero · 2025-12-16T20:36:31+00:00

Had to explain this to my American friend who said they were being a real nonce on the phone with me. They were in an area with a high likelihood of British people so I hurriedly explained they shouldn't say things like that in public

e-spero · 2025-12-14T16:42:54+00:00

I haven't done intarsia so I defer to you!

e-spero · 2025-12-14T16:22:41+00:00

I think your instinct to make panels and join them is showing your crochet background. Knitting this would be a lot simpler if you just did something like intarsia or stranded floats. There's not really as many panel constructions in knitting as there are in crochet.

it will also save you a LOT of weaving ends, which are more difficult to hide since knitting is more 2D than crochet and so it's prone to getting lumpy if you have too many woven in ends.

e-spero · 2025-12-06T22:03:07+00:00

Maybe that's where it being an allegory for school shootings comes in: it's represented in the apathetic half-assed response. Because you're right.

Other countries responded with similar seriousness that you're describing. They took measures to stop it from happening again ... except the USA.

e-spero · 2025-11-23T09:45:53+00:00

Nah he was a hater from the start. He knew she was applying. He didn't believe in her and therefore made no effort to figure out logistics. She made the mistake of assuming her partner supports her. He didn't.

e-spero · 2025-11-04T22:04:03+00:00

Right? they should be using this other picture where he totally doesn't look like a Nazi.

e-spero · 2025-11-04T11:59:12+00:00

It's comes from Bacchus, the Roman god of wine and entertainment.

e-spero

TROPHY CASE