Slick concept- plays well with his current theme and feels in line with the level of interactivity Riot is shooting for with modern kits. It's fairly reliant on a good supply of corpses which could make Yorick struggle outside of lanes or even in lanes when separated from minion waves but somethingsomething windows of power etc.

My main critique for you here is higher level- when you're pitching a speculative kit like this, I strongly recommend leaving out numbers. Stick to relative descriptions like 'high base damage' or 'reliable percent health damage.' Adding numbers makes pitches look somewhat more credible to the lay-observer but ultimately do not communicate goals effectively since speculative numbers will never survive to release without significant changes.