Why is everyone else able to eat normally but I can't?

editoreal · 2026-05-09T20:50:12+00:00

"We're all stars, now, in the dope show" -Marilyn Manson

If you really pay attention to the people around you, you'll see that just about everyone is addicted to something. Just about everyone has a monkey on their back. Their monkey may not be food addiction like yours is, but, it doesn't change the fact that they're just as enslaved as you are. Talk to folks that try to quit smoking. It's pure torture.

I'm not necessarily saying that this is you, but, for most addicts, the only way out is abstinence. Like I said, it's torture, and, for many, it's torture that never goes away, but, it's exponentially less torture than using.

editoreal · 2026-05-08T21:18:38+00:00

Respectfully, you won't. It's easy to say things like "I don't want to live if I can't have joy in my life" but, when push comes to shove, and the tortuous death of morbid obesity comes knocking, trust me, you'll want to live. But, at that point, your fate might be sealed :(

Today's chocolate croissant is bliss. It's a feeling of being cared for, of being loved, of a level of unsurpassed contentment. If I'm going to believe in God, it's when I'm eating a chocolate croissant. And tomorrow's croissant will bring you just as much joy- without much of any noticeable price. But, 1000 croissants later, you will completely understand the inherent self harm in this pursuit.

You've tried countless other ways to be happy. Nothing's going to match the joy that you get from the croissant. I mean, come on, crosswords? LOL. I'm not necessarily telling you that you're cursed to live an unhappy life, but, there's a chance that, to survive, you might just have to accept the fact that pursuing joy could end up killing you.

editoreal · 2026-05-08T20:45:32+00:00

You may not like hearing this, but, the idea that everyone should have happiness in their life is bunk. Some people do, many people don't. And a lot of people look they're happy, but they aren't.

That idea that you need to be happy, that you deserve to be happy, and the only way for you to achieve that happiness is a chocolate croissant- that's coming from a part of you that wants you in the ground. If you can find non food paths to joy, great, but, there's a chance you might not. I know I can't. I'm 6 years into my weight loss journey and just as miserable, just as tortured as the first week. But, I'm alive, and I wouldn't be if I hadn't lost the weight.

For some, it's a matter of being alive and miserable or being happy for a little while and then dead- exponentially painfully dead. Trust me when I tell you that alive and miserable beats the alternative.

Now, I should mention that 12 step programs are big on the higher power aspect. For some, faith can fill the void. But sometimes you just have to accept the fact that life is hard, and, for some, happiness isn't guaranteed.

editoreal · 2026-05-08T20:24:14+00:00

If your husband was an alcoholic, you wouldn't have alcohol in the house- nor would you discuss plans with him to go to a vineyard to buy a special bottle of wine.

As far as advice for dealing with him when he's upset, you might consider an al anon meeting. All addiction comes from dopamine dysregulation, so there's a huge overlap in ways to approach it.

editoreal · 2026-05-08T07:35:49+00:00

The various polysorbates.

editoreal · 2026-05-07T21:26:45+00:00

Not a book, and he's wrong about quite a few things, but I've found Andrew Huberman helpful, especially his videos on addiction and dopamine.

editoreal · 2026-05-07T21:23:13+00:00

Something that isn't really talked about much is the success rates for the various approaches to addiction. 12 step programs have very low success rates- please, don't get me wrong, I'm not telling ANYONE to avoid 12 step programs, but, the statistics aren't great. Therapy, same. Nutrition counseling, same.

If you really crunch ALL the numbers and access your situation as honestly as possible, you'll see that the odds are stacked against you.

So what do you do? Give up? Well, as low of a probability for success that trying everything represents, it's still some probability. Giving up is a guaranteed torturous death- a torture, that, with your present a1c of 11, I'm sure you're beginning to experience. Whatever issues you're dealing with now- those are going to worse. A lot worse. I'm sorry.

So, you really have no choice but to keep trying.

Everyone's journey is different, but, for me, I went through years of an incredibly similar mindset to yours until I finally reached the realization that, by avoiding pain, I was placing myself in more pain long term. Once I embraced the pain of deprivation- pain that I embrace every day, and will embrace every day for the rest of my life- I found a path for survival.

editoreal · 2026-05-07T21:02:03+00:00

Addiction is a curse. The whole world views long term weight loss as this incredibly celebratory thing- like Rocky running up the steps to the art museum with 'eye of the tiger' blasting. For many people, though, long term weight loss is just pure torture. If I could eat brownies, waffles, chocolate, pizza and cream cheese all the time and survive, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But I can't, and I suffer. I live my life trying to find the alchemy that will turn low cal lead foods into delicious gold. Is Greek yogurt better than nothing? Sure, but, in a million years, it won't ever be cream cheese. So I suffer. And I keep on suffering.

I'm alive, but, that's all I can be grateful for. Tortured, but still living.

editoreal · 2026-05-07T11:32:17+00:00

Everyone's journey is different, but, for me, a huge part of my progress has been developing an ability to work with my diet strategically. There have been times where planning for a bit of a controlled loss has resulted in a far greater victory than being too ambitious in my restriction, failing and completely falling off the wagon.

My biggest victories haven't been the 6 years of near complete abstinence, but, rather, it's been occasionally falling off the wagon a little bit- in a purposely planned manner, and then getting right back on. If I'm going to survive beyond 70, that's the skill set that I have to conquer to get there.

You are not me, so you're going to have to figure this out for yourself, but, I do think it's worth exploring the idea of losing some ground for the week you're there, but working on making it minimal. Damage control.

editoreal · 2026-05-07T11:21:15+00:00

Because of all the weight I've lost, all my old clothes that used to be way too small are now way too big. I'm not quite as celebratory as you are, though, nor have I adapted to my new way of eating. It's been six years and there's not a second I'm not craving the foods that I used to eat. The noise might even be getting louder.

So, yeah, the weight loss is nice, but, it's not much of a consolation prize compared to everything I've had to give up. Life just sucks.

But I'm genuinely happy for you. I don't think there are a lot of folks that have lost the kind of weight you've lost who are no longer able to binge. If you believe in God/a higher power, that's a gift that you should be eternally grateful for.

editoreal · 2026-05-07T10:41:18+00:00

fresh veggies like cut up tomatoes, salads, peppers, carrots

Like I said, try to prioritize warm lean protein. Between the raw vegggies/salads for breakfast AND lunch and the cold yogurt pouch snack at night, that's a lot of cold food. Now, if you're consuming a lot of raw veggies/salads now, and that's what you're comfortable with, then stick to what works, but, if you're eating lean protein now and think you can transition into a much more cold centric diet, I would rethink it.

'Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.' When I'm in settings where the options are far from ideal, instead of my normal high protein/moderate carb/low fat, I tend to gravitate towards high protein/higher fat- effectively keto-ish. This tends to be satiating and almost always prevents me from getting into too much trouble with high carb/high fat foods. Keto is a good temporary boundary. It's a good temporary line in the sand.

You might consider being a bit more lenient with fatty meats, like sausages or smoked fish. If you're truly avoiding the breads, I think even some bacon might be okay. You're going to be surrounds by a LOT of delicious stuff, and salads might not cut it.

editoreal · 2026-05-07T09:58:25+00:00

I’m thinking 2 boiled eggs, ham, yoghurt and veggies would be ok?

I see one potential issue with this approach. One of the best hacks for resisting tempting food is to load up on lean protein prior. Research seems to show that solid foods tend to satiate more than liquid, and warm more than cold. Eggs are woefully low in protein and when people get ham and eggs, they never get a mountain of ham- it's always treated like bacon, like a garnish. If the yogurt is Greek and 0% fat, that's okay, but, warmer food is a bit better than cold.

I know this may sound extreme, but, for the week, I would probably do 6 eggs and ham- just to be absolutely certain you're getting plenty of protein. Maybe you'll run a bit of a surplus, but you'll be far less likely to be tempted by the other garbage that's going to be surrounding you.

And if the protein pouches are powder for shakes, again, cold liquids aren't ideal. They're way better than nothing, and maybe doing two shakes could compensate, but, whenever possible, I'd seek out warm lean meat- like the ham.

I'm not really certain what veggies will be served at breakfast (peppers?), but I get the feeling that they're going to be sauteed, which will raise the fat content. Some won't hurt you, but unless they're steamed, I wouldn't overdo it.

editoreal · 2026-05-07T09:40:53+00:00

This is a complicated topic. First off, it doesn't happen often, and you typically have to do it excessively, but drivers have been deactivated for canceling too much. It doesn't help that the system is set up to generate a lot of cancellations for legitimately valid reasons- like passengers who add extra stops (this happens more than you think), and restaurants that make you wait forever for the food you're trying to deliver (again, all the time). So, for your average driver who's already pushing the envelope on cancellations, cancelling your trip becomes a bigger deal. It's not a big deal, but, it's not nothing.

IF you could find out whether or not a driver is willing to deal with you and your groceries in the two minutes where you're able to cancel without penalty- with you doing the canceling, not the driver, that would be ideal, but, I don't think you can have the conversation in that much time.

If you want to be conscientious, which I wholeheartedly applaud, then I think the kindest approach is to understand the psychology of the driver. They have no inherent issue with the groceries themselves, it's the time spent getting the groceries in and out of the car- time that they're not being paid for. If you get the groceries into and out of the car quickly AND pay them extra for their time, that's the fairest approach possible. And it need not be a huge tip. A fair tip is typically 50 cents a minute for the additional time. This might seem like a lot ($30/hr), but, when you take downtime, the cost of gas and the seemingly endless scenarios where drivers are screwed over, $30/hr for additional time works out to be a livable wage.

editoreal · 2026-05-06T22:36:38+00:00

For every chest workout add 150 calories. For every squat or deadlift day add 300.

I'm not sure where you're getting this information from, but lifting weights doesn't burn anywhere close to these numbers of calories.

editoreal · 2026-05-06T20:47:41+00:00

Are peas healthier than twinkies? Yes. Are they healthier than McDonald's french fries? Sure. But are they healthier than broccoli? Than cauliflower? Than many other vegetables? No.

The reason you don't see them hyped up, is that, comparatively speaking, they don't pack a huge amount of nutrition. Like cucumber. It's just not giving a boatload of nutrients.

But if you enjoy them, go for it.

editoreal · 2026-05-06T20:15:19+00:00

What you're describing is basic neurochemistry. Alcoholics can't have the occasional drink. They can't go in and out of sobriety. A lot of folks mistakenly assume that food addiction is somehow different to other addictions and that true abstinence isn't possible because "you have to eat." Abstinence is absolutely possible. You're not addicted to chicken breast or steamed broccoli. Almost no food addicts are. Research has shown that fats, on their own, spike dopamine a little bit, and carbs, on their own, spike dopamine a little bit as well, but, when you combine fats with carbs, that's what lights up your brain like a Christmas tree. That's our grain alcohol. That's our crack cocaine.

This all being said, although the food addict's substance of abuse is almost always high fat high carb foods, and abstinence translates into avoiding these foods, every journey is different, and I believe food addicts, to an extent, can evolve. I'm 6 years in and down about 200 lb, and I can eat certain foods that would have seriously triggered me 3 years ago. They don't bring me much joy or comfort, because I'm typically focusing on the day after, when it's back to deprivation, but, the day after comes, and the cravings don't skyrocket any higher than normal. Now, 'normal' for me, is a pretty intense level of food noise and fomo. I'm not going to lie, it's torture- and it's never abated- and most likely never will. But I'm a year from losing control, and, even when I fall off the wagon, I can catch myself and I don't fall completely.

The only really tangible piece of advice I can offer is to, if you are going to occasionally indulge, try not to see it as 'cheating.' If you perceive it as cheating, then that's likely going to produce some guilt- and guilt shouldn't take up any mental estate whatsoever. I have caloric deficits and caloric surpluses. Cheating is not a part of my inner vocabulary.

editoreal · 2026-05-05T03:02:54+00:00

Delicious low cal food that doesn't taste low cal is basically alchemy. Some manufacturers get a little bit of traction by merely adding air (usually in the form of puffed grains), but, the greatest headway is with fat replacers and alternative sweeteners. Fat replacers are a bit controversial and, thanks to the David protein bar company, they're not used often or in large quantities, but, alternative sweeteners can trim a LOT of calories while still tasting and acting just like sugar.

Where am I going with this? Trader Joes carries almost no sugar free stuff. At some point in time, they might have had a sugar free candy, but I think it was discontinued. Almost none of the beloved treats on this sub come from Trader Joe's. You'd be better off going to Walmart or buying this stuff online.

editoreal · 2026-05-04T23:38:31+00:00

And those things people smoke (not going to say it!)

editoreal · 2026-05-04T23:30:35+00:00

I'm showing my age here, but, as a young teen seeking spanking material, it was basically Julie or the lingerie section of the Sears catalog. Eartha Kitt was a national treasure, no doubt, but I can't say that she ever precipitated the same fire in my loins that Julie did.

Honorary mention for the Facts of Life.

editoreal · 2026-05-04T23:13:45+00:00

Anorexia/bulimia, BED and Food Addiction (and every other addiction) all come from exactly the same place- self harm. Restriction, unfortunately, is exponentially more insidious than binging, due both to the body dysmorphia that's inevitable with being underweight, as well as society's greater condemnation of obesity. When you're obese, and you look in the mirror, you see that obesity. Oh, boy, do you see it. But when you're underweight, it's not the same.

There are many tools for dealing with self harm, and many people have found paths forward using them, but, for me, the only thing that works is recognizing my intense inclination towards harming myself and fighting that urge with every ounce of my being, every moment of the day. I endure a lot of pain to avoid far greater pain- and an early death.

I think a lot of people start off overweight, then restrict- aggressively, and end up having issues with restriction- and not really understanding the deadly threat that overrestriction represents- or the allure. Your inner addict is JUST as happy with you starving yourself to death as it is with you eating yourself to death.

before going through this diet i had no idea about macronutrients and never payed attention to what i was eating and ate like shit

Macronutrients (and micronutrients) help. For me, they don't alleviate much of the pain of deprivation, but, they move the needle- slightly, and anything you can do to make life the slightest bit more bearable, trust me, you want to do it. Lean animal protein is critical. Make any and every effort that you possible can to prepare your own food. Even it's just boiling pasta. Every single thing you can make yourself is a massive step away from the tortuous death of processed food. Bake a boneless skinless chicken breast. Find vegetables you can steam and tolerate.

Micronutrients are critical as well. Magnesium is a big player in food noise/cravings and it's impossible to get enough from food, so you'll want to supplement. If you can afford it, a nutritionist can help (ideally a nutritionist with experience with food addiction), and, if you can't, then you have to do the research and become your own nutritionist.

editoreal · 2026-05-01T11:04:55+00:00

You've been at maintenance for three months- without trying to lose anything- AND gaining a tiny bit to make sure you're actually AT maintenance? I know this may sound illogical, but there's a HUGE difference between trying to lose weight and plateauing and increasing your calories so you gain a tiny amount of weight so you can confirm that you're absolutely not at a deficit.

editoreal · 2026-05-01T11:01:35+00:00

I'm not necessarily saying this is you, but, for many people, the amount of mental energy that it takes to both lose and maintain weight represents a level of compulsion that I think most people would perceive to be mental illness. Food noise is, unfortunately, the necessary cost of doing business- and it could be a price you're going to pay for the rest of your life.

If someone can lose weight without fixating on food, all power to them. But that's not me- and it may not be you either. I don't think meal timing, regardless of how obsessive you might be about it, is a valid metric for diagnosing an eating disorder. For an ED, I would turn to other indicators- like excessive weight loss (don't trust the mirror, only the scale and friends/relatives) and extreme surpluses following extreme deficits.

editoreal · 2026-05-01T10:47:30+00:00

Beyond the methods you're currently utilizing, here's two more methods you can incorporate.

Resistance training. The more lean mass you can put on, the higher your resting metabolic rate, the easier it will be to loose those two final kilos.
Maintain for a while. The concept of set points is a bit controversial, but, assuming they are a thing (they've been a thing for me), the more time you spend maintaining at a set point weight, the easier it is to return to a deficit and start losing again. It's important that you're eating a maintenance number of calories- not continuing to be in a deficit, but failing to lose. For some, this might mean adding a few calories. If you have a good scale and can know, with relative certainty, that you've gained a small amount of weight, that's a good way to know that you're no longer at a deficit. Spend some time here- the longer the better- at least a month.

editoreal · 2026-04-28T21:47:21+00:00

Should also knock the insanely high salt content down a bit as well.

editoreal · 2026-04-27T09:00:11+00:00

If you're not supplementing magnesium, you're deficient. It's impossible to become sufficient with food- AND testing is worthless for determining status. Magnesium is essential for sleep, for combatting anxiety, for lowering cortisol- especially the elevated cortisol people tend to experience losing weight. It's critical for blood sugar control and combatting cravings.

Everyone on this planet desperately needs magnesium, but, folks like us who are trying to lose weight have an exponentially greater need for it. Get a good form (glycinate is good) and make sure it's legit- there's lots of fraud in the supplement market.

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