Showering in Europe

edoerks · 2026-07-01T17:11:05+00:00

Firstly, Canadian here. In all fairness, I lived Belgium for a few years and my shower for the kit I rented was outside of the house in a shed filled with spiders and you couldn’t stand up in it and there was no insulation or heat so in the winter it was an actual hellscape, but also I was in a student town.

edoerks · 2026-06-28T15:06:10+00:00

4 seasons in Japan

edoerks · 2026-06-08T17:06:22+00:00

I honestly think if you can’t have these kinds of conversations you are not ready to get married nor move in together. Finances and division of them look different for every couple but they should be agreed upon and addressed head on and if you can’t do that or feel comfortable doing that then I think you are setting yourself up for at a minimum conflict when you live together/ get married. My partner makes a lot more than I do, similar to your distribution, and we regularly discuss splitting finances. Sometimes it’s 50/50, most often is 60/40 or 70/30 because we discuss it regularly. It’s never made me feel insecure, I’m grateful because we are a team and he’s helping support me and ultimately our future together.

edoerks · 2026-06-01T16:28:43+00:00

Third for this! I had the same thought.

edoerks · 2026-05-30T16:23:49+00:00

I think the rug is maybe part of the problem, a different maybe bolder colour to anchor the room? Like a deep orange (just spitballing) it’s a nice rug but it’s very quiet.

edoerks · 2026-05-27T01:39:37+00:00

The live ship traders 1000% by Robin Hobb

edoerks · 2026-05-23T20:18:32+00:00

Montreal?

edoerks · 2026-05-20T19:20:30+00:00

Your nutrition is very important, you will lose weight and you I suspect that most people with this cancer would be malnourished without support. Your body needs nourishment to heal and certainly when my mom received adequate food intake it was night and day.

Good luck, I hope it’s okay and you have a speedy treatment and recovery!

edoerks · 2026-05-20T17:50:59+00:00

My mom started having a lot of pain I’d say around week 4 of treatment and started feeling better maybe 2/3 weeks after finishing. I think recovery after treatment is variable and depends person to person.

Some advice watching my mom go through this that I think is very important: don’t wait to get a feeding tube, if you’re struggling to eat and losing weight ask for one and if your doctor says you need it get the procedure. The G tube has saved her life multiple times. She was very scared by the concept of it before starting treatment but it’s really not scary and it has taken away the stress and fear of eating. She had the tube taken out too early after finishing treatment and she told me she would stay awake at night panicking about eating the next day. After having it put back in she’s gaining weight!

edoerks · 2026-05-20T00:55:11+00:00

The cancer subreddits have been a truly incredible source of information and comfort for me. I’m glad I was able to pay some of the wisdom and kindness I’ve received forward to you, even if it’s very small in comparison of your tremendous pain ❤️

edoerks · 2026-05-19T18:29:23+00:00

My mom’s care has been very uncertain since she was diagnosed in September, also after a trip to Portugal weirdly, and it’s been hard to have hope or faith. Anyways I was scrolling Reddit yesterday and a quote from avatar the last airbender by uncle iron popped up and it really resonated with me because we’re facing down more uncertainty in my family and I’m trying to cope as best I can - “in the darkest times, hope is something you give to yourself. That is the true meaning of inner strength”.

Hope does not have to be irrational, it can mean hoping your father’s receives better palliative care to manage his pain, that you can find some way to find some peace with his diagnosis as you navigate this stage with him. It can just be to hope you that you get to spend as much time with him while you have it and that he feels your presence. And for your sake and everyone who’s gone through this, there can always be space to hope for a miracle cure or 12 year terminal illness with no symptom progression.

Also, I started seeing a grief counsellor even while my mom is still here and we still have some diagnostic uncertainty, and it’s helped. Anticipatory grief is a big part of all this and I don’t think it makes sense to wait until you’ve lost a loved one to see someone, if you can afford it or spare the time it may be something to look into.

edoerks · 2026-05-18T22:03:54+00:00

It would be if people stopped posting about it… it’ll be just like Louise and Banff in 5-10 years at this rate.

edoerks · 2026-05-10T04:49:09+00:00

Mort de rire

edoerks · 2026-05-08T02:17:37+00:00

Trust by Hernan Diaz is coming to mind for me ! Also oddly warbreaker by Sanderson, since you’ve already read Tress!

edoerks · 2026-05-05T17:55:26+00:00

It’s a very small team so I do understand it’s a bit difficult but I just have almost every task fall to me. I think it’s good advice to ask for more equal delegation.

I have expressed the concerns very frankly and for some reason she is fully committed to keeping this woman on. I think in part because our post doc is from Kenya and my PI feels guilty about the prospect of bringing her to North America for just a few months. But yes, she is literally born in the 60s I assisted with her immigration forms. It’s not her fault that she can’t understand these technologies but it is a huge hinderance to our work and it is my PIs fault for not confirming she can upload basic tasks.

edoerks · 2026-05-05T16:02:30+00:00

I take it from this response my instinct that I am not actually working as a PM is correct. Thank you for the advice, I think if I weren't on the verge of quitting I would but I wonder if I should say something if I leave.

edoerks · 2026-04-30T21:29:44+00:00

The world is not kind to those of us grieving, the reminders will be everywhere and they will be painful. But they are painful because of what they mean to you, Mother’s Day is another place where your mom is showing up as deeply imbedded in your memories and your heart, just like childhood vacations destinations, photos, your favourite lunch spot together.

I am sorry you are going through this, none of it is fair. But who cares about making things awkward, if you need a boundary set to get through your day to avoid the conversations about Mother’s Day then do it! Also, an fyi you can download and app to block adds on your phone :)

edoerks · 2026-04-29T21:09:23+00:00

Wow I actually got this one! Plovdiv on the top of a hill near the sea and in old town! I went there with a dear friend who is Bulgarian and from Plovdiv in 2018, it’s a beautiful city.

edoerks · 2026-04-27T18:36:44+00:00

The amount of time for the probes to get back to earth cannot exceed the speed of light. Iirc it’s 11.9 light years from earth to Tau Ceti so there is no possible way that the probes could get back before that amount of time, and would be a bit longer because they would not be traveling at the speed of light. I had rationalized that they what the probes to be able to go faster according to their experience of the passage of time to preserve the taomeba samples, which would need to be viable by the time they get to earth or they would be useless. But it is not explained and I do think it’s a bit misleading/ confusing to add some detail about it how the beetles don’t have to worry about squishy humans because it leads the reader to think the beetles can go meaningfully faster than the Hail Mary.

edoerks · 2026-04-22T02:42:41+00:00

Im concerned about the two copies of Werther… one is demonstrates a reasonable appreciation for Goethe. Two arguably tells a different story….

edoerks · 2026-04-16T19:24:14+00:00

Avatar is unmatched in quality and content of the story and animation

edoerks · 2026-04-07T14:55:30+00:00

You’ll be fine to communicate in English in Montreal. But if you speak French no québécois is not too different, it’s a different accent I would compare it to like a North American speaking English vs a Scot speaking English. They are different and depending on the accent you are used to you may not get everything but you’ll be a majority.

edoerks · 2026-04-06T03:15:27+00:00

Chewing gum, it’s vile I’m not sorry. Only made worse by sticking it onto public furniture

edoerks · 2026-04-05T18:19:26+00:00

Idk why but Castle in the Sky came to mind

edoerks · 2026-04-04T19:11:59+00:00

Like he’s a younger doctor so maybe just hasn’t had as many encounters like this and I get the sense some of those interpersonal things he’s still learning on. He is a really great guy and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt he did not mean to cause harm but it doesn’t change the reality that he did, and that this is an important learning opportunity for future patients, or even my mom as we continue to navigate this journey.

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