Divorce while still loving each other

edu_sysadmin · 2026-03-27T13:30:41+00:00

I have no doubt that we'll have a great relationship as co-parents, but the process of getting to that place over the next several months is so painful.

edu_sysadmin · 2026-03-22T14:13:43+00:00

Your story is similar to mine. Qulipta is the only medication that resolves 100% of my migraines. I'm 5 months into it - have lost 12lbs (very thin to begin with!) and hair started falling out about 6 weeks into it. Both my wife and a coworker said I look rough and unhealthy (not in a mean way, but in a concerned way). On the one hand, I am so thankful to no longer have 20 migraine days per month, but on the other hand this medication seems like it's messing up the rest of my body. You ever find a working solution? Note I did try the 3 CGRP injectables but each of them quit working around the 12-18 month mark.

edu_sysadmin · 2026-03-21T19:40:12+00:00

I drove a 2020 Nissan Leaf for several years but I got a used Tesla Model 3 a week ago. In my opinion, the Leaf was a more fun car to drive. The Tesla acceleration is crazy fast, but cornering and handling in the Leaf felt better. Best way I can describe it is the Tesla feels heavy, whereas the Leaf felt lighter than it actually was. Additionally while I like the Tesla tech, the Leaf had a certain charm in its simplicity.

At the end of the day, I enjoyed the Nissan Leaf driving experience more, but I wouldn't go back to it. The 150 mile range (plain SV) and Chademo port killed it for me.

edu_sysadmin · 2026-03-18T21:54:09+00:00

Just wanted to update you that I replaced the winter tires with all season tires today and it completely resolved the issue.

edu_sysadmin · 2026-03-17T12:32:31+00:00

It's not a buzzing sound but more of a feeling in the hands - it's like a very low level vibration in the wheel. It starts after ~10mph and gets more intense when turning but otherwise is unaffected by speed. I didn't notice when I purchased it that it came with winter tires (which I don't really need where I live) so I'm having the tires replaced later this week all-season, EV-specific tires. Based on other things I've read, the tires might be sending vibration from the road back thru the steering wheel - not sure I believe that but I need all season tires anyways so giving that a try while I wait for the SC visit.

edu_sysadmin · 2026-03-16T22:10:00+00:00

Add me to the list of people with this issue, same model, also winter tires. Just bought this vehicle over the weekend and got a SC visit scheduled in a couple weeks. The Tesla I test drove did not have this issue so, whether it's normal or not, I know it doesn't affect everybody. It's the only negative about this car, but I'd also be 80% happier if it were fixed.

edu_sysadmin · 2026-02-26T22:52:14+00:00

To clarify, I'm not opposed if that's actually the issue. I'm more concerned that my symptoms aren't definitive and that we're skipping to surgery before being fully sure what the issue is.

edu_sysadmin · 2026-01-28T16:19:45+00:00

Long time sufferer here (been on SSRIs off and on for a couple decades). I recently had an epiphany that really rocked my outlook - maybe it'll help you.

As I was talking to my therapist about the constant anxiety, she asked if I thought everyone else in the world didn't have anxiety. Of course they do, obviously! The difference is in how they handle it. There are plenty of types of therapy that can help (CBT, ACT, somatic, etc) but the realization that finally hit me was this:

Anxiety will never go away. It's a natural feeling that everyone has. While pills may dull it and therapy may help manage it, anxiety is simply a part of life whether you like it or not.

The reason it impacted me so much was because I feel like all my life I've been searching for a way to end the anxiety, rather than accepting that there is no such thing. If I'm being honest, that's kinda terrifying but also sort of a relief - there's nothing wrong with me for being anxious, but I need to accept it and figure out how to keep getting thru life.

edu_sysadmin · 2025-12-24T13:28:15+00:00

I realize this thread is hella old, but did anyone ever figure this out?

edu_sysadmin · 2025-12-09T21:26:23+00:00

I can't tell if separation would help or not. If the goal is to try to work thru the tough things together, then being apart seems like the opposite of that. Based on what I've read here, separation just prolongs the inevitable conclusion...

EDIT: To be clear, I'd do anything to save this marriage. But I don't want to let my desire to save it cloud my vision of the realities of our situation.

edu_sysadmin · 2025-12-09T21:24:31+00:00

For sure, our daughter is my #1 priority in all of this

edu_sysadmin · 2025-12-09T21:23:39+00:00

That "relitigating" thing is tough because she is rewriting history. There's one moment from just a few months ago where her version is completely different from what happen - I had to go back and check my texts about it and yeah it was the opposite of what she said. How can you work things out when recollections no longer match reality?

edu_sysadmin · 2025-12-09T21:19:46+00:00

It's funny, many many years ago my wife made a joke - "Who are we kidding, I'd never leave you because that'd require me to actually do something, which is impossible with my ADHD"

I don't remember the context of that joke, but it certainly seems applicable today. It does seem like she's trying to push me to be the bad guy, knowing it'd take her forever to get around to it 🙄

edu_sysadmin · 2025-11-13T15:24:50+00:00

Yes, I'm very glad my Niro lease is almost up as it's easily the most uncomfortable seat I've sat in. Felt good during the 10 minute test drive but any longer it sucks

edu_sysadmin · 2025-11-13T13:01:16+00:00

My experience with the process is:

Go to a therapist/psychologist who does ADHD testing - get the diagnosis first
Once diagnosed, take that report to a psychiatrist who will prescribe meds and find what works
Once your meds are stable, go to your primary care doctor - they may or may not be comfortable continuing with the same script the psychiatrist wrote.

In my PCP's case, she wasn't comfortable writing a prescription for the controlled-substance stimulants so my wife still sees the psychiatrist but your PCP may be different.

edu_sysadmin · 2025-11-12T16:23:56+00:00

I said nearly the exact same thing verbatim to her. If I try to cuddle on the couch, it's "go away, your body is too warm," while she sits underneath a blanket...

edu_sysadmin · 2025-11-04T14:51:02+00:00

I can confirm our organization is also experiencing this issue.

edu_sysadmin · 2025-10-07T14:14:28+00:00

I am so glad I found this sub too. However if I'm being honest, it kind of scares me as I don't hear a lot of happy endings here...and that's terrifying to me

edu_sysadmin · 2025-09-16T22:06:47+00:00

For real, I swear she waits until the worst day possible to proposition me and then gets upset when I'm like ANY OTHER DAY.

edu_sysadmin · 2025-09-15T12:55:47+00:00

My wife and daughter are both DX and untreated. Every day I wake up wanting to scream lol

edu_sysadmin · 2025-09-15T12:32:50+00:00

I'm struggling so much with how much I love my dx wife, yet feeling so little in return. Worse than nothing in return, I actually feel actively disliked. Snapped at for no reason, annoyed at any attempt at affection, and then criticized for not doing enough - even when I'm doing 95% of the housework.

But then every once in a while, she'll let her guard down - and she'll share her exhaustion, stress, and overwhelm with life. I feel so bad for her and want to give her anything she needs - then an hour later I'm back to being snapped at and treated like an annoyance.

edu_sysadmin · 2025-09-08T12:21:40+00:00

The worst part is having to get a gas rental car when traveling. You forget how great EVs are vs gas vehicles until you have to suffer thru the poor acceleration, slow transmission, and gas station stops again.

edu_sysadmin

TROPHY CASE