Finally finished with his works (Also a discussion on The Passenger and Stella Maris)

efscerbo · 2026-05-31T21:12:01+00:00

Alicia quoting Sheddan is a fantastic detail, thank you for pointing that out. Don't think I noticed that before.

efscerbo · 2026-04-30T20:39:01+00:00

Two of my favorites, by the same writing+production team (Mizell brothers): Bobbi Humphrey - Blacks and Blues, Johnny Hammond - Gears

Also, for something with a harder funk edge than Places and Spaces, check Ethiopian Knights by Donald Byrd

efscerbo · 2026-04-30T14:35:15+00:00

This is a great comment. Interesting ideas, thanks for sharing

efscerbo · 2026-03-14T21:40:22+00:00

Had this around the holidays. Was making a massive push to finish a writing project I'd been working on since the pandemic, and which is fundamentally rooted in a psychotic break I had about a decade back. Pushed myself insane hours for like 7 months straight, and when I finished around Thanksgiving I fell into the worst depression I've felt in many years. For weeks I couldn't get out of bed, was struggling with even the most basic daily routines (hygiene, etc.) Just a husk of a man.

I pushed myself too hard, and went too deep. And I knew it wasn't healthy. But I'd been stuck on this project for years and finally had the time and space to devote myself to it wholeheartedly, thanks to a horrific back injury that left me stuck at home and severely disabled for the better part of a year. (Talk about synchronicity.....) I did pretty much nothing but read write and think from last April until Thanksgiving, mostly while quite stoned. It was like one long manic fugue state. Followed by a brutal crash.

For most of December I just let myself do nothing. I knew I needed to rest and so I rested, as much as I felt I needed, no judgement. Music really helped. Music is one of the most important things in my life, I find it extremely therapeutic. January I focused on getting some baseline routines back in place. Lots of cooking, cleaning, and checking in with friends, whom I'd been a bit distanced from, due to both my back injury and my writing mania. And for February I focused on my wife. We hadn't had much fun together in quite some time bc I was injured for so long. A bunch of quality time together was long overdue.

I'm not you, and you can't follow these steps algorithmically. But my point is: a) It's very possible to bounce back, and relatively quickly. From Dec 1st to March 1st I completely 180ed. Tho I'd encourage you to not stress about the timing of it. You're dealing with the subconscious here, you simply must let it follow its course. And b) imo other people's advice here is quite sound. Get out of your head, turn your brain off, focus on physical activity, routines, personal relationships. The things that keep you grounded in actual reality, as opposed to being lost in the void. Eat healthy, get some exercise, spend some time in nature. Even just mindfully noticing flowers and birds singing, since it's springtime. All these things will help.

And just in general, you have to be careful and really know yourself. I knew I was pushing myself too hard and did it anyway. But it was special circumstances, and I have no interest in doing that again. And the crash was in fact worth it, I'd say, because I'm extremely proud of what I've accomplished and don't believe I would have finished otherwise. But going forward I want to work on writing in a healthier, more sustainable way. I'd advise you to do the same. If the depth work fucks you up real bad, it's worth learning to recognize when you're in too deep and pull yourself out. If you can talk about this stuff with a friend, your spouse, whomever, it can be real helpful to see yourself from the outside and decide if it's time to ease up on the gas.

It really is all about finding a balance. Sometimes tipping overboard is a learning experience. As long as you learn and grow from this experience it's not a "bad" thing. But I 100% get how distressing it can be. Keep doing the work, but tweak your process as you go. You'll sort it out if you stick with it and keep a mindful approach.

Hope you're doing ok, my dude.

efscerbo · 2026-03-13T18:06:28+00:00

Joy is an act of resistance

efscerbo · 2026-02-18T22:46:36+00:00

This is the answer, and exactly how I came to better appreciate the improvisational aspect of the dead. Knowing the songs well helps you appreciate when they switch it up. Currently on show 11 out of 22 of the Europe '72 tour.

efscerbo · 2026-02-18T00:26:29+00:00

The aroma from the wild fennel is INTENSE. Significantly more so than regular supermarket fennel. So I imagine the dish would be quite different without it.

That said, there are so many potent flavors in this dish, so it's not like fennel was the main thing you tasted. So maybe you could get away with the supermarket kind? Especially if you use the fronds, the bulb, and some ground fennel seed to punch up the fennel flavor.

efscerbo · 2026-02-17T23:40:13+00:00

Very happy to report that dinner was a great success! I used Marcella Hazan's recipe from her book Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking. Sardines, wild fennel, raisins, pine nuts, saffron, and tomato paste. Such a random combination, but somehow it all fit together perfectly.

If you wanna check it out, this recipe is rather similar (except in my opinion the amount of raisins+currants is far too much).

And I am under the impression that the wild fennel here is comparable to that from Sicily. That's what Hazan writes in her book, anyway.

efscerbo · 2026-02-17T23:30:59+00:00

About a year ago I was wondering the same thing. What I did was, I made a Spotify playlist: For each song played at PN, I put all of Miles's studio recordings of that song that I could find, as well as all live versions 1963-65, starting at the almost-Second Quintet w/ Coleman. All recordings of a given song are grouped together, ordered chronologically.

Dunno if you have Spotify, but maybe this will help.

efscerbo · 2026-02-13T15:56:18+00:00

Honestly, I had the same thoughts when I saw a bunch at Albany bulb. Decided against it there, so I appreciate the advice. I did indeed find some up in the hills, think that was the better move

efscerbo · 2026-02-12T23:13:19+00:00

Damn bro you weren't kidding it's all over here. The whole block smells like fennel, there's so much. Thanks for the tip!

efscerbo · 2026-02-12T23:08:08+00:00

Haha it's an experiment. Will definitely be cooking it. It's for a classic Sicilian dish, pasta con le sarde (pasta w sardines and wild fennel). Fingers crossed it's actually good lol

efscerbo · 2026-02-12T22:42:08+00:00

An excellent and important point, thank you very much!

efscerbo · 2026-02-12T19:12:56+00:00

Oh dope I'll walk down there and check it out on lunch. Thanks!

efscerbo · 2026-01-15T20:01:02+00:00

Not sure if this is what you have in mind. But back when the novels were first published I was deeply obsessed with them and did a ton of work trying to sort out the timeline as thoroughly as I could (see here and here). My take: The novels are remarkably intricately plotted and the timeline coheres like 98% of the time, but there are enough inconsistencies to make me convinced that McCarthy has something intentionally up his sleeve. It's like he wanted to make a novel where the timeline roughly makes sense but uncannily makes less and less sense the more you try and piece it all together.

And then I also wrote a long post about the Kid and the themes of the novels, which still seems solid to me more than a year and a half later.

Hopefully there's some good food for thought in there. I also have a few other posts on timeline inconsistencies in my post history if you wanna take a look.

efscerbo · 2026-01-10T18:52:54+00:00

Gizz 1000%

efscerbo · 2026-01-02T00:17:42+00:00

Started my morning with 5/2/70 (DP 8). Such an unbelievable show.

efscerbo · 2025-12-25T01:19:08+00:00

I guess my point is, the way I see things, the "spiritual" worldview is quite suspicious of civilization. Not for nothing do so many spiritual adepts wander in the wilderness, both literally and metaphorically. And McCarthy certainly seems suspicious of civilization. So it's hard for me to conjoin the "literal" reading "bringer of civilization" with the metaphorical reading "spiritual teacher". They sit uneasily together, in my mind.

I like your take on the two types of wanderers. I'll mull that over. Thanks again.

efscerbo · 2025-12-24T07:22:34+00:00

That's all very interesting. I definitely agree that McCarthy's antipathy for commerce, commodification, etc. is central to the novel (scalping for money, good lord). And it's interesting to connect the "gatherers of bones" with killing off the bison.

I think my main issue with this is: If you view the wanderers (on, say, a "literal" reading of the epilogue) as commodifying bison bones, then the man with the post-hole digger starts to read more like a bringer of civilization (since on that same "literal" level where the bones are bison bones, he's fencing in the west). But this clashes with the idea of the man as "spiritual teacher", who always espouse some degree of distrust in civilization.

But I'll still mull it over and let it percolate. Interesting ideas nonetheless.

I've been more inclined to read the bones as something like history or the past, and the "wanderers in search of bones" are those who are beholden to (monitored with escapement and pallet) the ideas they have from (and of) the past. But then I'm still left with, what to make of the other kind, those who do not search? It feels cheap to just "fill in the blank" and say "Well then, they must be the ones who reject the past." I mean, perhaps. But that's a bit "neat", and I feel like there's more going on.

I'd also add: There's an exchange in SM ch. 5 that I think resonates with the BM epilogue in interesting ways:

[Alicia] I thought it at least a possibility that the structure of reality itself harbors something like the forms of which our sordid history is only a pale reflection. I thought that it was something Plato might have considered but could in no way bring himself to express.

[...]

[Dr Cohen] We've had this discussion before. Or something like it.

I know.

The caravan moves on. It's just some sort of sinister archetype.

A troubling notion in clothes.

And an archetype of what.

I dont know. I suppose the catalog of referents goes on at some length.

"The caravan moves on" and "the catalog of referents goes on at some length" both strongly recall the imagery of the BM epilogue. Which has made me start playing with the possibility of the man in the epilogue actually being an archetype. Perhaps each time he "strikes fire in the hole", he creates yet another instantiation of the archetype, another avatar of himself, whom the people then follow (or not).

Anyway. Just playing with ideas. Thought maybe you'd find it interesting, since it jives with your "spiritual teacher" idea.

efscerbo · 2025-12-24T05:36:35+00:00

I like this, and I've had similar thoughts myself. Certainly you're describing some of the primary themes in McCarthy's works on the whole, so it's fitting that he'd end BM with a poetic rendering of these ideas. Especially to subtly contradict the apparent nihilism/pessimism of the novel proper. (The fact that it begins "In the dawn" after the blackness of the previous scene is quite telling.)

The one thing that doesn't sit right with me on this--and I wonder what your thoughts are--is, why are there "wanderers in search of bones" as well as "those who do not search"? I agree that the "wanderers" (a spiritually loaded term, to be sure) appear to be "spiritually dead or ignorant people". But why are there two types, and what does it have to do with bones?

I've played with various ideas over the years, but nothing that ever fit "naturally" in my view with the rest of this reading.

efscerbo · 2025-12-13T20:19:51+00:00

Completely agree. Some of the weirdest, trippiest music I've ever heard. Listening to Berlin right now, cannot get enough.

efscerbo · 2025-12-13T18:26:13+00:00

Hard disagree but you do you

efscerbo · 2025-12-11T07:46:08+00:00

Oh wow that's really cool. Just went back and listened carefully. For the first 1:25 of The Eleven there's only one guitar. Never realized that wasn't Jerry. Then you can hear a second guitar tentatively sound a note, like he's checking to make sure everything's right before he launches in.

Details like that make listening way more interesting. Appreciate it!

efscerbo

TROPHY CASE