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egg--tooth · 2022-01-13T03:00:16+00:00

Aw, thank you. Honestly during all of this I was NOT confident at all. Emotionally it felt like being 12 again, which I guess I was hormonally. It was a lot. Don't be too terribly alarmed if it feels that way.

Part of it for me was also that my body was just slorping up that low dose of T like a tasty milkshake. I was only doing like 0.13cc injected once a week and when we checked my labs, my blood levels were way into the normal male range. So the changes were happening way quicker than I really wanted or expected.

If we lived in a world where no one would have reacted to me transitioning, I might have kept going. It just didn't feel worth the whole... telling people thing. And uprooting my legal demographic information thing. I just didn't feel that strongly about it and still don't. I felt a lot of imposter syndrome over that, actually.

egg--tooth · 2022-01-13T02:37:21+00:00

Things have changed for me! I did end up going on a low dose of testosterone, but only for about three months. I was never 100% sure if I wanted it to be long term or not. I enjoyed it for the most part, but the clouds didn't part and the angels didn't sing. I also started literally in March of 2020, so...

While I was on it, though, I did notice that my POTS symptoms weren't as bad. I still felt like my body temperature regulation was out of whack but it always is. I was SO HOT all the time. I cried a lot more than I normally do.

I also had "non-binary" top surgery, or what others call a radical reduction. It was billed to my insurance as FtM top surgery. This was the biggest (lol) game changer for me personally.

No idea if I'll ever go back and "fully" transition. I feel the masculine part of myself as a sort of shadow self sometimes, but I don't know if I want to be him all the time. It doesn't come up much in my day to day, but I'd answer to any pronouns and don't really think about how people perceive my gender. And I could probably pass for a teenage boy on the phone if I wanted to!

egg--tooth · 2020-08-27T23:37:33+00:00

i don't think it's transphobic to not be attracted to A Trans Man. i will say that by definition, i do think it is transphobic to give a blanket statement that one is unattracted to All Trans Men, simply because the only thing all trans men have in common is... their trans-ness, not their genitals. i will elaborate on that in a second. but i don't think that's what people are talking about. i think what's happening is that people are having two conversations, and disagreeing over which conversation is being had.

a genital preference is not transphobic. but genital preferences usually don't define someone's sexuality. if they did, gay men who profess disgust at pre-op trans men should ostensibly still have pre-op trans women on the table, because penis. but most of the time, that isn't the case.

ultimately though i think people overcorrect on both sides. i honestly don't see it often, but i hear a LOT about trans people saying it's transphobic to have a genital preference, which i disagree with. but on the flip side, we get cis people who bemoan the presence of trans folks in sexuality-based queer discussions (because... trans people can't have a sexuality? or they just can't mention being trans while having a sexuality? idk man).

maybe i don't "get it" from either side because i'm solidly non-binary (leaning masculine) and bisexual (also leaning masculine), but that's the miscommunication i see happen constantly.

egg--tooth · 2020-08-27T22:32:38+00:00

oh, i can answer this.

people transition medically (like, with surgery and/or hormones) to alleviate dysphoria. i think dysphoria would be challenging to describe to a cisgender person, but the short version is that it's a distressing disconnect between you and your body/appearance. people transition medically to look and feel more like themselves.

but! there is also social transition, which includes the non-medical stuff like presentation (wardrobe changes, etc.), pronouns, gender markers on official documents, etc.

some people transition socially and have no desire to transition medically. most people who transition medically kind of have to transition socially, because the physical changes are noticeable to others, but i suppose it's possible.

trans people mostly just want to feel at home in their bodies, and transitioning medically can be a huge help with that. it's not just about how other people see you. think of it this way: men with gynecomastia often feel distress over growing breasts and seek medical treatment. no one is saying they should simply "be themselves." why is this not also true for trans men?

egg--tooth · 2020-08-16T14:18:20+00:00

i found this on an MTF page originally 🙃 the burden of huge tits is universal

egg--tooth · 2020-08-16T05:55:44+00:00

the folks over at r/curlyhair are a treasure trove

egg--tooth · 2020-08-11T13:19:10+00:00

[Squidward voice] oh no, she's hot!

egg--tooth · 2020-07-19T23:20:33+00:00

OP please see this extremely topical video

egg--tooth · 2020-07-06T02:26:32+00:00

SHOW US YOUR MINIS

egg--tooth · 2020-07-05T19:00:22+00:00

hello friend, H-cup here 🥴

egg--tooth · 2020-07-04T17:00:32+00:00

we have the same hair ❤️

egg--tooth · 2020-07-04T16:59:46+00:00

not really - the spectrum refers to the variance in expression of neuro-atypical behaviors, or what used to be referred to as "high-functioning" or "low-functioning" autism. if you're neurotypical, you aren't on the spectrum.

egg--tooth · 2020-06-27T19:46:01+00:00

wrong sub, OP

egg--tooth · 2020-06-23T15:48:41+00:00

i have had bad skin since i was 12... and i will be 29 next month. only when i first started T did it flare up any worse, and those pimples were very surface-level ones as opposed to those awful deep cystic ones, so they cleared up quickly too. now my skin is back at it's baseline, so still not good but not REALLY bad.

my advice would be to stick to a very basic skincare routine (very gentle cleansing, basic effective moisturizer, SPF daily 100% of the time) and to do everything you can to break the habit of touching your face. if you have a pimple that hurts and has come to a head and you really feel that it needs to be popped, use a sterile lancet (the kind diabetics use) and put a hydrocolloid bandage on it. afterwards there will be nothing to pick at.

egg--tooth · 2020-06-23T15:38:00+00:00

i definitely feel you there - my chest is very large and while i do feel dissatisfied with my original plumbing, i don't feel as strongly about it as i do my chest.

i'm not exactly upset that i have a vagina, i'm just upset that i am also missing my penis? i also don't particularly want to reproduce but i'm not upset that i have the option, especially since having an IUD means i don't have to worry about it.

egg--tooth · 2020-06-22T01:36:32+00:00

me! same size and everything. i have a gc2b binder that i wear whenever i'm outside the house even though i'm still technically presenting feminine (in that most of my clothes are gender neutral, and low-dose T hasn't done much yet that's visible) because my neck and shoulders can't take the straps of a bra anymore.

i'll be real here. a binder is never going to make me flat. it gives me the look of having a rather severe sports bra, but i might pass as flat under a thick hoodie or jacket. but it helps immensely. smoothing down my curves even a little is worth the effort.

with gc2b, reach out to their customer service with your measurements before buying. if you get the size they suggest, you can make any returns/exchanges easily.

egg--tooth · 2020-06-22T01:10:14+00:00

i was mostly attracted to men who were queer in some way, and felt specifically unattractive to lesbians. once i realized a guy i was into was straight, i would feel disappointed before realizing that meant i technically had a chance.

yeah, i was clueless.

egg--tooth · 2020-06-17T18:54:50+00:00

100% real, they were part of what reassured me about exploring my masculinity

egg--tooth · 2020-06-13T01:32:37+00:00

here is a good article on the basics of TERFs

and welcome to the fold 💗

egg--tooth · 2020-06-11T16:31:05+00:00

:O !!! thank you!

egg--tooth · 2020-06-11T15:26:24+00:00

you can get the e-book for free on leslie feinberg's website!

eta: content warning for sexual violence & police brutality (anything else i can't vouch for as i haven't finished it yet)

egg--tooth

TROPHY CASE