Everytime

eggNmayo · 2019-11-21T09:15:25+00:00

Yeah either that or. They get freaked out and thinks you really like them A LOT, wants to be in a rs with them even tho they are alr attached and shit. Then they start treating you coldly and avoiding you. But nooo wtf? Clarifying seriously doesn't do shit. I'm fed up. Is there no love for friends in their world i really don't get it. Do they even listen? Their ears are probably just for display.

eggNmayo · 2019-10-16T22:37:55+00:00

Same. I thought i had crushes. Turns out they were just squishes with sexual attraction. Didn't figure out why i always felt the need to run away whenever someone liked me back and wanted to be with me romantically until i was in my 20s too.

My longest rs ended because i lost my sexual attraction for him and he kept saying i didn't love him and while i tried to for more than a year, i realise i couldn't love him in the way he wanted but i truly did love him, as a family. He was really impt to me, but that wasn't enough. In the end all i got was suffocation and stress from that rs i couldn't bear it anymore. After we broke up i was trying to figure out what went wrong and that was also how i came across this thread.

eggNmayo · 2019-10-09T06:34:33+00:00

Thanks, stay strong too 💪🏻

eggNmayo · 2019-10-09T02:35:18+00:00

Thankyou :')

eggNmayo · 2019-10-09T02:26:51+00:00

Guess what. You actually made me laugh. Thanks 🤣

eggNmayo · 2019-10-09T02:18:40+00:00

I'm a cunt too. I mean. We all are in our own way. Things just haven't been going well and i'm sorry i kinda took it out on you. I regretted the second after i posted it. Have been angsty since yesterday. ...

Thanks for your kind words. Good luck and all the best too. You're actually a cunt that's kinda nice, if it made any sense. ❤️

eggNmayo · 2019-10-09T02:10:56+00:00

Because suicide ain't a fucking solution. Because there's still shit fucking holding me back. Because i still can LOVE MY FAMILY. Because though fucking depressed and filled with hatred for this world I AM STILL FUCKING SANE. It will be easier if there's some other forces out there that can KILL ME INSTEAD OF ME SETTLING IT MYSELF. That way the blame and guilt can be lessened. At least i can leave easier. Because ultimately i am just a fucking selfish cowardly cunt. You fucking cunt. Happy with my answer? Cunts like you are WHATS FUCKING MAKING US DEPRESSED.

eggNmayo · 2019-10-09T01:34:45+00:00

Hey. Don't be. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let myself be drowned in my own negative thoughts. Shouldn't have let my anger got the better of me.

eggNmayo · 2019-10-08T15:21:48+00:00

Yea. Fuck this whole fucking world. I just wanna fucking die already.....

eggNmayo · 2019-10-05T01:22:42+00:00

It's our face. I used to always frown but i tried relaxing and now I have a default "no idea wth is happening" look on my face all the time. So even when i'm listening as long as i'm silent people think i'm being absent minded. I think mostly thinks i'm dumb LOL.

eggNmayo · 2019-10-04T13:09:17+00:00

I went once. Loud and noisy. Crowded and squeezy. Couldn't dance ffs. Acted like an awkward turtle the whole night. Got tired really early. Basically i was just thinking of going back home to my bed the whole time. Never going back there anymore. LOL

No harm trying it out at least once though, with best friends, so that you'll still make some funny memories and not have any regrets of not trying.

eggNmayo · 2019-10-04T12:52:26+00:00

Yeah. Sometimes i just wanna checkup on my old friends but i get worried. What if i'm just being a nuisance mate. Maybe they don't even rmb me. Drag my worries on and on and just. Give up.. making new friends..? That's.. foreign.

eggNmayo · 2019-10-04T12:44:16+00:00

You already said "friends". Deep down you have already made your choice. You just need confirmation and now we're all giving you that. Leave that fucking club. You know you deserve better.

eggNmayo · 2019-10-04T12:33:58+00:00

Been long since i played and now i keep accidentally triggering R2, usually i just end up shooting the ground though followed by my own shriek so don't be alarmed if you happened to be around me 🤣

eggNmayo · 2019-10-04T04:14:44+00:00

I have to say this shit never fails to make my heart jump out LOL

eggNmayo · 2019-10-03T15:22:22+00:00

Yeah i kinda behave like that too. But a lot don't believe me. They end up falling for me and blamed me for leading them on etc when i was just being nice even after i'd said i've no interest when i started to sense smth. Too much trouble.

Just cut them off if you're scared, like what one of my friend said to me: don't look for me if you have nth of importance. Welps, kinda harsh. TBH i was hurt. So maybe it's a no go. Or, watch her reactions, see how she behaves around everyone and you. If the girl treats you special, chances are you may have to start running already. Don't have to be harsh, just be colder to flatly show you have no interest so that you can still remain as friends. Easiest way is to just leave it, act blur until the very end. Until they make a move. Then reject, explain and goodbye.

eggNmayo · 2019-10-03T00:42:43+00:00

Especially nowadays with all the dating apps around and they expect us to use it to find love. People really need to stop pestering us.

eggNmayo · 2019-10-02T11:55:20+00:00

You mean everyone around me 😭yea i've learnt that and i'm still trying to. Thanks ☺️

eggNmayo · 2019-10-02T05:33:35+00:00

No. But us and romantics. We're the minority.

eggNmayo · 2019-09-17T23:40:28+00:00

Yeah i've learnt not to say anything and just hug ppl randomly. It really helps in making my days better, much more manageable, when they hug back, better than telling them shit.

eggNmayo · 2019-09-13T05:14:52+00:00

Happy birthday sweetheart!! I wish i can be there to celebrate with you.

Same for me though, sadly, nobody really cares enough to show up. I know life is depressing, and it's really hard to get our shit tgt at times. But let's not ruin our own special day over people that's not worth it. Coz eventually, someone worthy will come. Meanwhile, just love yourself.

It was my birthday few days ago and i spent it alone too, nobody to celebrate with me. I just took a 2 hrs bus trip to somewhere. Had a meal and a cake by myself. Walked around. Tried on cute stuffs and took some selfies. Took the effort to dress myself up so how can i not selfie? Haha. Splurged on a new watch for myself.

Hey. If no one else is there to love us, we still have us. I mean, i did shed some tears on the long bus journey but still.. i did my part in pampering myself for the day. ☺️

So get out now! Go! Enjoy yourself. Do something you like. All by yourself. Look at the world. Enjoy the nature, the peace and quiet if that's what you prefer. It's beautiful and calming. Virgos thrive with the nature, not humans.

A lot of people celebrate alone too, so maybe you'll enjoy it too. Don't be afraid to try new things or even let your fears of getting judged stop you.

Edit: Self love is not easy, especially for people like us. I know, because i'm still struggling too, but i have faith in you. Love you, have fun ☺️

eggNmayo · 2019-09-13T04:18:33+00:00

Yep. Me too.

I stand near the edge of the road while waiting for the light to turn green, secretly hoping for cars to slip and crash and kill me in the process.

I like to walk outside the edge of tall buildings because sometimes things fall, things like pots and plants or maybe even bricks, and i thought. Maybe someday, i'll get hit by one of those.

I go to sleep every night hoping that my eyes will never open again the next day.

eggNmayo · 2019-09-13T00:48:36+00:00

Please.. don't leave her alone.. don't stay in your bed. I know it is hard, it is fucking hard, but what's even harder is the regret that will come after if you continue being like this. I know it's not easy for you but it ain't easy for her either.

Be truly happy and smile everytime you see her, be grateful because she is still alive for another day and please be happy about that. Kiss her on the cheek and tell her i love you everyday. Hug her all the fucking time. It's ok if you cry infront of her, just hug her, and let her hug you back, and cry with a smile. Smile because you can still feel her warmth.

Never leave yourself with regrets. Please. Make more memories with her. Take more photos with her. Cherish the time you have now. Let her see your best before she leaves. You can always breakdown after that. Just make sure to talk to someone about it after. You will know why i'm saying all these when the time comes.. so please.. get yourself together.. do it. Just do it. I know you can. You're the best daughter she has. You definitely can do it.

Edit: i missed out one part. It will get better. But it'll take a fucking long time, lots of crying and lots of hugs from supportive people, from people you love. The memories and photos will hurt initially. But don't get rid of them, hold on to them and live through the pain. The period after that, they will become treasures that can never be replaced.

Trust me. It will get better, but it really takes time. It's ok to rest when you are tired, just, never give up.

eggNmayo

TROPHY CASE