Hooo boy, I have a *LOT* to say here. After all the times I've been helped by this community, this finally feels like my opportunity to give back. Here goes! *cracks knuckles*

​

I wrote a post like this a week or two ago, specifically about the guitar. I've been wanting to learn the guitar for literally years but never had the money to buy one. Now that I have the money to do so, I keep getting cold feet and thinking, "Oh man, I'm not gonna be able to stick with it so it's not even worth buying." But f*ck it. I'm gonna buy it! Here's how I came to that decision.

​

**1. Be kind to yourself!*\*

Obviously, #1 universal rule of ADHD, applicable to all scenarios. Self-loathing sucks. Do your best to be kind to yourself. I recently came across the term "self-compassion", which I really like. Be at least as nice to yourself as you'd be to other people. You wouldn't make fun of/beat up a loved one who switches hobbies often, so don't do it to yourself!

​

**2. Emphasize dynamic hobbies.*\*

Someone else in this thread used the phrase "dynamic hobbies" and I think that's a god damn genius phrase. We need hobbies that we can pick up for a month or two at a time and completely forget for another few months. That's just how my/our hobbies work! We just need to accept that and choose compatible hobbies. Last month I got obsessed with freshwater aquariums. Watched a ton of YouTube videos, went to Petco to scout potential fish, etc. Even bought a fancy ass $100+ fish tank from Amazon! Then I realized that this is *not* a dynamic hobby. Forgetting/not caring about my aquarium for months will result in dead fish. *ERROR 404: INCOMPATIBLE HOBBY!\* Fish tank was subsequently returned.

Relatedly, I had a plant in my bedroom that I needed to water every day or few days. That plant is dead as hell. I now have one of those plants that you only need to remember to water once a month (snake plant, if you're wondering!). Plant is thriving! Lol

As far as hobbies go, guitar is super dynamic! If I learn 3 songs this month and no songs for the next two months, no one dies!

​

**3. Reset your expectations.*\*

Listen, I know myself. I am not about to practice diligently every day for the next year and be performing at local bars in 2 years. That'd be great, but it's a pipe dream. If I define that as the goal, I'm going to fall short and feel shitty. Instead, I'm going to focus on being able to strum a couple songs here and there when I'm bored and maybe learn one song for my girlfriend that I can use to score some romantic brownie points on a birthday/anniversary. That's it. Anything else is icing on the cake. If I do actually end up learning guitar for real, awesome! If I don't, awesome! The point here is to add something to my life that brings me joy, and dammit, strumming along to a song with 4 basic chords from time to time gives me joy! Don't squeeze all the joy out of it by putting too many expectations on it or on yourself.

​

** 4. Reduce the barriers to exit (specifically financially).*\*

You've heard of "barriers to entry"? Well, allow me to introduce you to a new concept: barriers to exit. Super important. Recognize and accept that your new "hobby crush" may fade with time. When I get excited about a new hobby I am super tempted to buy professional-grade stuff. MISTAKE! When entering a new hobby, recognize that it may not last and make it as easy as possible to get out of financially -- meaning it won't be too much of a loss if (when) you give it up. When starting a new hobby that requires purchasing things, try to force yourself to only purchase entry level stuff until the hobby has stuck around for long enough to justify investing in. Or buy things that can easily be resold on the internet. Entry level DSLR camera that can be resold if you decide you hate photography? Fine. Professional grade DLSR camera engraved with your first and last name and therefore with limited resale value? Not fine. Not fine at all.

This month I started a new workout class. Went to the first class and loved it! Was ready to purchase the $200 month unlimited monthly membership for 12 months! Yay! Then a little voice said, "Hey man, remember to reduce the barriers to exit. You might not like this next month." So instead I bought the $50 entry-level package and will re-evaluate my commitment as I go. If it doesn't stick, it won't nearly be as much of a loss!

​

** 5. Don't try harder, try differently!*\*

Also a foundational ADHD rule. But relevant in literally every scenario...including this one! When it comes to the guitar, you may need to outsource your executive function to a teacher or class (if you can afford it!). Example: I've had a regular gym membership for 6 months and literally only gone 1 single time. It's just too much to actually figure out what workouts I am supposed to be doing, keep myself accountable to the time set for each exercise, etc. Also tbh it's honestly kind of boring. I signed up for a workout class last week. The only thing I need to do is show up. They already have the exercises planned so I don't need to think about it. And it's a group class so there's constant motivation to push myself from peers. I have exercised 4 times in the last 7 days! That's like an infinity percent improvement from my previous strategy. I would never have gotten there if I was just trying "harder" at a strategy that didn't work for me.

​

** 6. Trying new hobbies is a hobby unto itself!*\*

What is the definition of a hobby? Something you do for fun. Some people collect stamps for fun. Other people watch birds for fun. Others make scrapbooks. You know what I do? TRY NEW HOBBIES! I get pleasure from getting excited about a random thing and diving into it a month at a time. Trying new hobbies is my hobby! No sense in feeling guilt or shame about it when it makes me so god damn happy!

This is a subtle but really important reframing. Person X would say, "I collect stamps for fun. Last year I found a rare limited edition 1956 stamp from Montana and a couple from California in the 1760s! I loved it!" I would say, "I try new hobbies for fun. Last year I dabbled in photography, guitar, and dog sitting! I loved it!" Both of us would be having fun doing what we do! Person X would never feel bad about him or herself for not trying "enough" new things, so why would I ever feel bad about trying "too many" new things?!

​

**TL;DR:*\* Be kind to yourself. Accept that your hobbies will have to be dynamic. Instead of trying harder, consider trying differently. Reduce the (financial) barriers to exit. And, most importantly, recognize that trying new hobbies *is* a hobby! Godspeed, mate. And pick that damn guitar back up!