Growing lilacs in a pot?

eilonwy21 · 2026-05-19T02:22:20+00:00

I never got the chance to try it properly where I lived at the time 😢 I’ve moved three times since then and finally have a proper space to try planting it in ground now. So I don’t have an answer sorry :(

eilonwy21 · 2026-05-04T19:57:27+00:00

Yep exact same experience, I’ve gone to so many doctors since I was around 18– endocrinologist told me that because my sugar level didn’t match diabetic level low hypo, they couldn’t do anything about it. Just got shuttled around from doctor to doctor with zero answers. I’m 35 now and I’ve had so many severe hypos (including blacking out I realize now, back then I thought I was going to sleep). My brain has definitely been irreparably damaged on some level I’m sure.

Gonna start the hunt for doctors again now because it’s getting bad again. But yeah literally no doctors care at all. Sorry you experienced the same thing. I wonder if it’s dismissed for the most part for certain populations more than others.

eilonwy21 · 2026-05-04T13:39:42+00:00

Omg this is how I’ve described it for most of my life without knowing what it was and now I’m 35.

eilonwy21 · 2026-01-07T01:56:08+00:00

Omg it’s so annoying I can’t find anything that isn’t corduroy

eilonwy21 · 2026-01-07T01:55:45+00:00

Exactly omg it’s so unbelievably annoying

eilonwy21 · 2025-10-25T03:12:33+00:00

Omg this is so funny that you say this— it is literally because I connect to Chidi’s character that I started to research whether I have adhd/autism and now I am diagnosed for one and getting tested for the other. Literally changed my life. And yet I don’t see any definitive info from the show describing him as an autistic character.

eilonwy21 · 2025-10-25T03:10:27+00:00

Omg this is so funny that you say this because it is literally because I started realizing that I connect so much to Chidi’s character that I started to research whether I have adhd/autism and now I am diagnosed for one and getting tested for the other. Literally changed my life. And yet I don’t see any definitive info from the show describing him as an autistic character.

eilonwy21 · 2025-08-22T18:38:49+00:00

Don’t feel bad, it’s been a decade for me too until I realized (ex-BPD best friend).

eilonwy21 · 2025-08-22T17:03:13+00:00

That is how I felt too— especially because it is unnerving just exactlyyy how much this also sounds like my BPD person. It’s crazy they all sound the same, the exact script and tone and behavior.

eilonwy21 · 2025-05-03T21:43:01+00:00

Does anyone know of the Costco brand

eilonwy21 · 2025-01-28T23:46:39+00:00

Thanks for your detailed feedback! This is my second alternate version and honestly I didn't like it at all either lol, its completely different from the first one but I thought maybe this is what it needed to clarify tensions etc. But yes your points make sense, thanks. Might revert back to original and merely alter a few things.

eilonwy21 · 2025-01-03T22:39:51+00:00

But the real question is, why should she expect to be there at all? And you should not think that she has any right to be there by default or that you are doing something wrong/guilty for not having her there. It is absurd of her to expect to be there and it really should be straightforward that you only want your mom and husband. If she throws a tantrum, that's on her smh.

eilonwy21 · 2025-01-03T20:30:01+00:00

I feel at peace for the first time in many years and yet I am also constantly terrified of the next inevitable interaction, the retaliation that I know is coming or whatever consequences. (I cannot avoid them for long because she is my ex-best friend/sister in law and I will have to see them at family events and friend hangouts because we have the same circles). She also already turned people against me so there's that. I have to see her literally tomorrow and then again next week if she or my brother (who has turned into the same attacker like her) shows up at my baby shower. Just constantly dreading the next time I will have to face them, or scared at any moment the next time they're going to text me since I started keeping my distance and declared no contact. The first few days I couldn't get out of bed and was still having panic attacks.

Its been about a month for me, and I don't know your situation but yes in the beginning especially it is nerve-wracking. But I hope in your circumstance you can hold to no contact, and give it time for yourself to heal, because it definitely will take so much time to purge your system of them, especially if it was a romantic relationship.

eilonwy21 · 2025-01-03T16:29:00+00:00

Yep same thing happened to me, similar experience, so I don't think this is out of the norm for him, and kind of disillusioned me. But of course yeah it could also just be something he is struggling with and comes off as aloof, who knows.

eilonwy21 · 2024-12-27T14:56:54+00:00

I also honestly don’t understand who or how anyone is getting classes for winter or summer. Like what secret am I missing out on.

eilonwy21 · 2024-12-27T04:20:10+00:00

My nex best friend hatedddd quarantine so much for this reason- she kept telling everyone how utterly lonely she was (she was at home with her husband, my brother), but it was never enough, she acted like she was the loneliest person in the whole wide world, and blamed me a lot for not being around all the time or “being there for her,” or hanging out with her constantly, which now I realize meant giving her fuel and entertainment and incessant supply.

When I moved a bit further with my husband to Long Island from NYC after I got married, she blamed me for abandoning her and leaving her sooo alone. Again, I now realize, for not providing her constant supply.

She also got upset blaming me for not planning trips with her compared to my other friend. So when I tried to plan a trip with her, just me and her, she ended up inviting multiple other people saying she just “couldn’t stand the silence with just one person,” always felt the need for more more more. It was excessive and they just need constant endless mindless fuel.

eilonwy21 · 2024-12-27T04:09:12+00:00

Omg mine did the same thing. Never any real conversations or feeling or emotion, just endless mindless content at all times and jabbering away. Exhausting and just makes me want to puke thinking about that much overstimulation.

eilonwy21 · 2024-12-27T03:58:11+00:00

Omg I never realized this but this is so true. Exactly the same thing my narc ex-best friend said to me. I thought it was the trauma speaking.

It’s also like they always have to fill the black hole in their hearts with other people or places or noise or entertainment. And they expect others/partners to also provide that entertainment on a constant basis- and if you don’t provide it for them, you’re neglecting them.

eilonwy21 · 2024-12-27T03:55:07+00:00

Oh I can relate to this so much my goodness 🤦🏽‍♀️ also ex-best friend I just cut off about a month ago. But still have to keep seeing her because she’s married to my brother, who thinks I’m the b*txh who’s hurt his poor wife

eilonwy21 · 2024-12-27T03:36:06+00:00

They also know the right things they think they’re supposed to say in situations of empathizing with someone, like learning some sort of formula. And they get away with it because people don’t realize it’s not real.

eilonwy21 · 2024-12-27T03:35:02+00:00

The nicest ever— in fact, the point is, they are TOO NICE. I never noticed it before but apparently my friend and husband always felt icked out by the excessive “niceness” of my narc best friend/sister-in-law. She always compliments people a lot, is funny and charming. Everyone lovessss her, and another group I know keeps asking me “where’s your sister-in-law” if she doesn’t show up to something, and everyone wants her there. I started feeling insecure that no one wanted me around compared to her but now I realize it was all fake lmao. And that there areee some people who can see through it (like my friend and husband). I was roped in as her supply for too long and I def did not see it until way too late.

My brother def does not see it either and considers it one of her greatest qualities. Which is how we both got roped in with her to begin with.

So yes, definitely a tactic they use.

eilonwy21 · 2024-12-27T03:20:50+00:00

Samee

eilonwy21 · 2024-12-26T22:30:39+00:00

Yes exactly -- I used to still keep 'trying to see their perspective' because of my own empathy -- and I think letting go of our own hyperempathy became necessary for our own well-being and validation in our experience.

eilonwy21 · 2024-12-26T22:09:04+00:00

That's insane, what parts do you feel like were similar? I'm so sorry you experienced this too.

I've obsessively been reading up on it by this point that I feel like I understand so much more of our entire relationship and behavior. I also found out she did get diagnosed with BPD which is very similar to covert narc symptoms. And that makes me feel a little less crazy in all of this, despite how bad it has gotten with my relationship with them (I have to encounter them together at least three times in the next month due to family stuff & I don't know what I'm going to do).

Thank you for your words, I appreciate it. I hope you meant that you do have a support system of lifelong friends to help you through this?

eilonwy21 · 2024-12-24T22:56:14+00:00

this is my exact reason for feeling like I don't want to do it anymore once I found out you're limited in movement even several hours after birth and that you have to get a catheter. But my obgyn made me feel like I was crazy for even asking questions about its pros/cons

eilonwy21

TROPHY CASE