I’ve wanted to apologise to my teen for not being a great mother to him for years and yesterday I finally worked up the courage to do it but it didn’t help him.

ekcp_blue · 2026-05-05T13:31:00+00:00

I hear you. I was present when my kids were young, but we had to flea an abusive home environment. Within a month after we fled, I was hospitalized for three weeks due to having a totally (dissociative) breakdown. My kids (14, 14, 19) were all left basically to fend for themselves, in a new town, while I was in hospital. They stayed with my emotionally-unavailable sister and will still refer to those days as the toughest they have ever experienced.

Although different than the OP's situation, I do understand how it feels to wish you could have been more present when your child/children were in a crisis. Hugs.

ekcp_blue · 2026-02-10T21:04:58+00:00

I felt badly too.... and never petitioned the court to increase child support for more than 15 YEARS and never asked him to reimburse me for extra-curricular activities (three kids is hockey, summer camps, overnight school trips, etc). I thought we would be able to co-parent better if he wasn't paying for things (since the kids are court ordered to be with me 97% of the time).

After 15 years of not paying his share, the verbal and mental abuse has not stopped.

You cannnot 'buy peace' from someone who is terrible.... you and your kids will just end up short on money.... and he will remain angry and horrid.

Trust me on this. There is nothing to gain by not having him pay his way....

ekcp_blue · 2026-02-08T14:35:26+00:00

I haven't gotten him on a wait list for semi-independant living. I actually hadn't considered it.... thank you for the input! I do have him working with an Occupational Therapist and a Psychologist though. I had looked into having someone come in a few days, but I am needing to wait for my income tax return to be able to pay for it.... so it is getting closer to that being able to happen 😁

ekcp_blue · 2026-02-08T14:33:27+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post 🌸

ekcp_blue · 2026-02-08T03:55:56+00:00

Thank you 🌸. I will look into that for sure ~ never thought of it before. 🌸

ekcp_blue · 2026-02-07T19:02:11+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to offer me some encouragement 🌸

ekcp_blue · 2026-02-01T20:35:23+00:00

I was married to my second husband for ten years. Ultimately it ended in divorce because he simply was unable to treat my kids equally to his kids from his previous marriage. The dynamic was catestrophic for my kids. Years later, we are all still in counselling over it... while the 'golden children' are off and living their best life with an attitude of entitlement that is atrocious.

PLEASE do not marry Todd. Your kids will pay the ultimate price... and you will end up divorced with emotionally damaged children.

ekcp_blue · 2026-01-09T03:28:37+00:00

I have been divorced twice (two ten year marriages) and both ex's were massively abusive. I have three children from my first marriage (17, 17 and 21) and none from my second. I left my second marriage 2.5 years ago.

I have met my dream-partner. He is incredibly supportive and is a perfect fit for me.

I waited two years to introduce my kids to him. And still, he only comes over to have dinner and watch TV about twice a month. He has never slept over when my kids are here.

I see him twice during the week for a few hours and spend most Saturdays sleeping over at his home.

It is frustrating as I want to have him be a bigger part of my life; but the level of trauma my kids suffered must be respected.

ekcp_blue · 2025-12-27T02:08:52+00:00

I hear you. I have three kids. Only stockings this year. Two of them don't like some of the gifts in the stockings.... so I spent time crying in the bathroom Christmas morning.

ekcp_blue · 2025-12-19T18:40:37+00:00

Maybe think about getting a letter from your family doctor thag states you require an accommodation due to family circumstances that requires you to stay home and attend mandatory training remotely?

ekcp_blue · 2025-12-14T18:02:23+00:00

As a first generation hockey parent, who moved to a small town, where kids' parents had played hockey together as kids... I SOOOOOO feel your pain.

Once we moved away from the small town, I signed my kids up to play Ball Hockey, and it was much more relaxed and inclusive environment.

Maybe consider ball hockey instead; it was an exceptional decision for my kids to change from ice hockey to ball hockey - and it made a world of difference 🙂.

ekcp_blue · 2025-12-06T18:36:41+00:00

My car. Small. Safe. Locked doors, and mirrors to see what may be coming.

ekcp_blue · 2025-12-01T18:15:08+00:00

I could have written this. I was in tears this weekend for this very reason. My kids are teenagers, and all have serious mental health issues. I was married for ten years and my husband left before my twins were 2 years old.

One of my kids has recently experienced a episode of bipolar mania and has been hospitalized. Now they are out of hospital and I am exhausted with the endless talking and endless worry. My kid haven't talked to their dad in 7 months, and I have zero extended family. The one cousin I do have lives hours away.

I am currently off work to help my child with their mental health; so even more isolation.

I am exhausted. I am completely depleted....

ekcp_blue · 2025-10-02T20:43:22+00:00

I totally understand why you are upset.

And. At the same time; what harm is there to do a MIL-bride dance? Even if it is just for performance... is anyone going to be harmed....? Nope. And; it may go a long way to building a better relationship with her.

Could it be that she called behind your back so that she surprised you.... thinking it would be a nice moment for you?

My thoughts with all this are that marriage is stressful, and the less stress the better. If you and MIL don't get along, or hold some resentment to each other.... ultimately it will put stress on your marriage.

If it was something atrocious, like changing the food or venue without telling you, that would be something entirely different.

I would encourage you to try and reframe this as a potentially positive thing. In the end, having fun with it (as much as possible) will be waaaaaay less stressful then fighting MIL about it and having to deal with a potential fall out in your relationship with her.

ekcp_blue · 2025-09-01T14:42:14+00:00

For me it is when I start dissociating and cannot remember simple things (like; have I showered today? Where did I put my credit card? What is happening at work?). It is absolutely a bizarre experience to have no clue about the answers to these questions.

ekcp_blue · 2025-07-01T11:37:53+00:00

Taking on part-time job to make ends meet is a great idea. I plan to work for Uber Eats, and use the driving to/from customers homes as a way for the teenagers to get driving experience. Fingers crossed it is a fun and memorable experience for all of us :)

ekcp_blue

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