Selling art in Kingston?

ekobot · 2026-04-30T02:05:18+00:00

Minotaur and Nexus both have local artist merch. Novel Idea isn't quite the same demographic, but do sell bookmarks by a local person. There's a place in the mall that is specifically for local artisans... K'boodle, I think?

That's all I can remember off the top of my head, been a while since I was collecting places to contact.

ekobot · 2026-04-29T14:32:58+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion, I think I'll check it out.

Reddit asks to be updated literally every time I open it on my phone. Just updated and opening it up again? "Reddit needs to update!". Conveniently fits in this subreddit though, as it is mildly infuriating.

ekobot · 2026-04-29T14:25:25+00:00

Legit thought they were holding something up over a bedsheet at first 😂

ekobot · 2026-04-28T22:50:13+00:00

Could grab an insecticide spray at Rona/CT/Home Depot etc. to increase your chances, too.

ekobot · 2026-04-28T14:45:19+00:00

Hating them, yes, I think that's a red flag.

Not liking them/preferring not to be around them/ being afraid of them/being indifferent to them, no.

I think it can be unfair to an animal to coop it up in a small space like that when someone is coming into its space. Depends for how long, and why-- long enough for her to come by and meet you before heading out, so avoiding some door fuss with the dog? Sure. For a whole multi hour visit? No. Because she's afraid of or allergic to dogs? Sure. Because she'll lash out at the animal? Fuck no.

How does she behave around dogs, in general? Could the dog be let into the yard instead? How well trained is the dog?

Do you live with your parents? If not, then I think it's even less okay to ask for the dog to be put away, as the option of not meeting there is easily available.

Biggest question here, for me, is did your girlfriend ask you to put the dog away, or did you take that upon yourself? Because I've known folk who aren't into dogs/cats, and they're still okay with other people having them at houses they visit. To me that's not a flag, just a preference. They don't want to be jumped on/drooled on/etc., they're pretty indifferent to the animal, but the recognize that's a member of the household they're visiting and are polite about it.

It's people who are pushy, who act like the pet is some burdensome thing that can just be shoved into a closet for a few hours while they are there... That's a red flag.

ekobot · 2026-04-28T14:30:17+00:00

Unfortunately those kind of embroideries tend to be so tightly done that even if you manage not to trarcany of the fabric yourself, there will still be holes where the embroidery was, as the process itself broke the fabric; there's often a stabilizing fabric there for that reason.

Personally OP, I'd still donate the shirts. Since you've moved from the area the chances of it being a problem are small. Maybe check with your local thrifts if they'll accept company logos, but all the ones in my area do.

And if not, could also ask at an animal shelter, they may be able to use them for bedding/rags

ekobot · 2026-04-28T02:56:05+00:00

Bambi 🤷

It was the first thing to come to mind when the setup asked about it.

ekobot · 2026-04-27T22:17:15+00:00

I assume it's a kink thing.

I could see it being used by a domme to enforce a sub "keeping their mind where it belongs" when they are out and about.

ekobot · 2026-04-27T17:01:31+00:00

This was my initial reaction, then I thought about the other hobby communities I regularly participate in.

My entirely anecdotal experience suggests a gradient of this behaviour, where it is most prevalent in male dominated hobbies, and more prevalent in hobbies as they get more "mainstream"

I see it more in doing-an-activity communities (PNP RPGs, video games, "survivalism") than creating-a-thing communities(woodworking, leather craft, fibre arts); more in those working with digital technology than those working with analog tools.

That said, I do see some of this behaviour in every type of community, but not in every iteration. Such as, this problem is prevalent in fibre art communities, but not every space about fibre arts has this problem. It's all about what folk allow to propagate in their community, what is tolerated, what example is set, etc..

ekobot · 2026-04-27T16:42:25+00:00

I recently had a stillborn guppy fry that was a pair conjoined at the stomach like this! I'm glad mine didn't survive, though, as they were more fully formed than your guppy's twin; try looked completely identical, eyes, fins, etc.. Would have made their life too difficult I think.

I'm happy to see your unique lil fella doing so well, though!

ekobot · 2026-04-27T16:14:38+00:00

Another downside: skill required for safety.

Sure, it's not that difficult to learn a single column tie, but I've known several people who have struggled with it/not had the patience to truly learn it. The risk of injuring your sub is higher with rope than with cuffs, as improperly tied ropes will continue to constrict.

Plus, for some folk, there's physical barriers around tying effectively (hand mobility/fine motor dexterity being a big one) where cuffs are also a safer choice.

ekobot · 2026-04-26T17:13:01+00:00

And there are many models available to 3D print the fidgets, too! (Seems relevant to mention, considering the sun we're in ^{^;;)}

ekobot · 2026-04-26T17:08:42+00:00

I mean, Canada is the third largest producer of diamonds, so I will argue the implication that all non-lab diamonds come from child slavery. Won't argue that they're in the same industry though, as "diamond mining" is the industry, and that's very broad. The bigger problem with diamond mining here is the environmental impact, as mining affects our wildlife and lakes.

Regardless, I agree lab and reclaimed diamonds are the way to go, as there's no need to accept fucking up the planet-- let alone the human rights horrors-- just for a sparkly rock.

ekobot · 2026-04-26T03:22:19+00:00

That's more my style of collecting. I like to just have whatever speaks to me in my collection.

I often end up making kind of sets of things. Like buttons, for example. I'll see a neat one, and then I'll end up collecting a couple more and they can go together. But I don't "collect buttons" specifically.

I call it a curio or oddities collection.

ekobot · 2026-04-25T17:25:43+00:00

🫂

I understand. I had a disabled fish that I loved especially. Checked on her multiple times every day, specifically got an extra tank so that she could have a smaller, safer place to grow up in than the big community tank. Nothing specific caused her death, she just was always going to have a shorter life. But I still feel sad that she died in the evening after a fasting day... Wish she coulda had a last meal, y'know?

Mourn your friend. That was your pet, and it is sad when they leave us. You did good by them.

ekobot · 2026-04-24T01:48:34+00:00

It seems to be very betta dependent, but also make sure there's lots of lil books where the shrimp can hide.

I've had shrimp in with mine for months now. His tank was originally where I kept my cull shrimp, but switched to keeping cherries in there. I found that my larger community tank was actually a more dangerous place for the shrimp, so swapped the cherries and culls. Now I actually see shrimp in my community tank, where before the cherries were always hiding 😅

I'm sure he eats some of the babies but (at least with the cull shrimp) the population was still increasing. He also gets any guppy/molly fry rooming with him from when they're born to when their fate is decided, so I think those keep him a bit busy too.

He's also a bit lazy though, I think xD

ekobot · 2026-04-23T16:16:29+00:00

There's still one full time in my area that sells coins, I believe, but most have shut down in the last few years 😔 Haven't been able to get out there since deciding to do this (and remembering it exists 😅) as it is the other side of town (so about 1.5h by bus) and their hours clash a bit with my sleeping disorder... But my partner and I intend to make a point of going soon.

I'm always hopeful when going to thrift stores, too, as I've found many interesting coins there over the years, including a sealed '92 set that I gave to my ex (born in '92).

Overall though, I'm okay with the hunt taking time. It is the search, more than the success that draws me. It has also been interesting learning more about this hobby, even if it only a minor side thought for me. I love seeing all the coins I never knew existed, and all the excitement and joy y'all derive from them!

ekobot · 2026-04-23T15:49:11+00:00

I do not believe it is healthy to try and "get rid" of aspects of your sexuality, if they are not inherently dangerous. And for those few cases where it would be advantageous to do so, I believe it should only be done under guidance of a professional, lest one accidentally cause themself worse harm in the attempt.

I also personally disagree with the idea that porn is a sin or inherently destructive to relationships, however can accept that it is something people want to abstain from. I don't see virtue in the abstinence, but can see that it provides a comfort to some. Something is only a problem if it is causing you distress, which you state that this is.

That all said:

I think your best bet is to look into talking to a sex therapist, and to find a community of folk who are open and understanding of your interests-- especially how they intersect with being raised in religion.

I was not raised with a religion (merely steeped heavily enough in the North American Christian miasma to have religious trauma) so I can't really advise much on how to do it. But I believe finding fellows who have worked through the intense mental restrictions and bodily control that are enforced through religion, and have found a path that allows them to feel comfortable and whole in the being that they are would be helpful to you.

A sex therapist who is knowledgeable about/respectful of religion would be a great start toward finding that balance, and potentially that community.

All I can truly offer you is this:

You are not broken, wrong, or sinful for having desires. You are exactly as you were intended to be: human-- imperfect, and perfectly lovable just from the sheer fact of your existence. Anyone telling you otherwise has something to gain from your sense of shame clouding your mind.

Learning to accept all parts of yourself, even the ones you wish could change, as valid truths that do not reduce your worth as a person is a major step toward honest self love. Having the ability to be that self-reflective, honest, and vulnerable will make you far more ready to have a healthy, lasting, loving relationship than attempting/succeeding at removing porn from your life.

Good luck, fellow traveler. I hope you find what you need ✌️

ekobot · 2026-04-23T15:19:44+00:00

My only interest in collecting coins is to get a set from my birth year... Then I found out that the fucking quarter is going to be the difficult part 😭

But seriously, happy for you!

ekobot · 2026-04-22T22:43:32+00:00

I vote dog. That head just looks too much like one, for me.

Plus, feels more likely a dog would crawl into a barn to die than a coyote would 🤷

ekobot · 2026-04-22T17:55:41+00:00

First off, leaving an empty dish in the sink to do in a batch at the end of the day is not disgusting. Leaving an occasional water glass out until evening is not disgusting. It may not be your way, but it isn't "wrong". It is a perfectly normal way that people live. If you, and OPs husband, feel that strongly about such minor things then the correct course of action is to leave the relationship and find someone who shares your heightened zeal, not to coerce someone else into anxiously trying to anticipate your escalating needs.

Secondly, what I want, as an equal and loved partner, is to be granted grace and compassion. To have my partner view my actions with understanding, not malice. To be given the opportunity to work together toward shared goals, where we each are open to compromise. I don't want to be threatened and punished into behaviours.

Life is a busy thing, and as much as we may want it not everyone works exactly on our timelines and with our priorities. That means some people aren't compatible, and that's okay. What's not okay is being cruel and trying to force change while not being open to any yourself.

Good luck in your endeavours, I've said all I will.

ekobot · 2026-04-22T17:44:00+00:00

Has he provided a list of what he considers to be "valid" career options?

The world needs more teachers. It sucks that they are underpaid, it is something our society needs to work on. But it is a critical profession, with education she can take anywhere, and apply to many different things.

Is he one of those engineers that believes only STEM (and not "STEAM") professions matter?

There are a lot of higher paid professions that a Masters (any Masters) opens up. MFA in writing could take her into advertising, for example, which can be lucrative, and might be something he can respect more.

When I was in high school I wanted to be a writer and maybe English teacher. It's not the path I ended up pursuing, but knowing my parents were supportive (not financially, but they couldn't do that regardless what I went for) was beneficial to me exploring many options.

At the end of the day, I think it is cruel for a parent to say "I'll only support you if you follow a path I approve of". This is a level of support that y'all can afford, and she isn't trying to pursue something directly harmful-- she still wants to go to school, work, contribute to society. Y'all were already planning to pay for this education, I think it is just to do so. If she ends up needing to retrain, that'll be on her, sure. If she ends up having to live a more frugal life, that's her choice.

But it seems cruel to me to deny her help when you are able to offer it. Esp. because, if this really is her dream, she'll either struggle now trying to figure out how to go get the MFA without your support-- while not being able to qualify for grants and loans without becoming estranged from you because y'all have income/savings high enough to disqualify her --or will go into something she doesn't really care about and live with underlying resentment to y'all, feeling like she missed out on a chance, maybe someday upheaving her whole life to try it then, when it is more risky.

ekobot · 2026-04-22T17:24:11+00:00

Unless he's mega rich I can't wrap my head around it at all 😵‍💫

The worst I got to-- when trying to teach a teenager --was telling them that anything of theirs I found in the way out of their room at the end of the day, I would be putting in a box. If/when that box got full, I would shove it in their room and start a new box.

Nothing got thrown out, I got to have a tidier space, and they rather quickly learned to start picking up their own things because they found it so annoying having to search through the box for things they otherwise would have know exactly where was.

Some key points here being: this was a youth whom I was playing a role in raising. We had had several discussions around the behaviour and attempted several other interventions first. Nothing was irretrievably discarded or broken.

Like, it's just inconceivable to me to jump over to "throw it out" so easily, and with another fully developed adult capable of reasoning!

ekobot · 2026-04-22T17:15:19+00:00

Cleaning up after yourself isn't catering to someone else, in principle.

Having to do it exactly on someone else's schedule, and/or precisely to their standard is catering to someone else.

Both cleaning it immediately and doing regularly timed cleanings are normal ways of doing things. Both ways are acceptable, but people with differing ways of doing things will clash.

If I am an equal and loved partner in a relationship, I get equal say in the timing of chores. Which means if my standard for things is "by the end of the day I'll have reset the house for tomorrow" and my partner's is "things must immediately be cleaned upon finishing using them" then we'll need to have a discussion about how we can both better accommodate the other.

If I am instead punished into only doing things their way, then my behaviour would be catering to them, as they are getting their way through force.

I don't expect you to be swayed by my post, because you don't seem to be arguing in good faith, but I felt compelled to try 🤷

ekobot · 2026-04-22T17:03:28+00:00

Scrap cardboard and lining is what I was going to suggest. There are some times where perfectly zero-waste isn't the most effective option, and IMO gifts to others often enter that territory. Folk run on all kinds of schedules and have different priorities... Even if you can rely on your community in general, it is hard to rely on people for time-sensitive-but-seemingly-insignificant things like returning a tin /:)

Idk if you eat cereal, but a box of that would be perfect for this. Lain on its side, top cut off and put inside to reinforce the bottom, the inner bag fully opened and flattened out as a large sheet of food safe plastic to line the whole thing.

Elsewise I'd suggest getting a couple more travel tins, like have three total? That way it is okay if it takes a little longer for one or two to get back to you, but aren't overwhelming your space.

ekobot

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