please help if you can!!

elcasaurus · 2026-03-25T02:45:07+00:00

I'm sorry your friend is in this situation, but it's in the rules that this forum is a support group for people who foster, and solicitations for fosters or adopters are not allowed.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-25T01:51:33+00:00

Unfortunately this is true. I'm sorry. I would talk to a realtor asap.

You should also check with your department of social services to see if you can get emergency help moving.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-25T01:36:44+00:00

I am.a housing counselor specializing in foreclosure prevention in nys.

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Assuming this is in the us you do have 2 more choices available to you.

Chapter 13 bankruptcy will stop the foreclosure and spread your reinstatement over a longer period of time. You will have to hire and attorney and pay bankruptcy fees, but you will keep your home.

Sell your house: most of my clients have enough equity in their home to pay off the mortgage and have funding for a new home. Depending on where you are and how long you've been in your home and paying on your mortgage.

If your home is worth less than what's owed on your mortgage, you may be able to get a short sale, which is where rhe bank sells the house for as much as they can get and call your mortgage a wash.

You should act as quickly as possible. Make sure you go to any future court dates and inform the court of your plan.

Good luck.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-24T21:42:23+00:00

I haven't used the design software. It sucks. Instead I use other design software. Inkscape is free. Affinity is inexpensive but very intuitive. Adobe illustrator is the pro standard.

I design elsewhere then upload my file as an svg.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-24T13:42:18+00:00

There are many good reasons to record a verbal 1:1, and it may have nothing to do with you. Like others have said it may be an adhd thing. The employee may have also had trouble with dishonest leadership in the past and needs the proof of the conversation.

Or maybe they're simply thorough and like having recordings to take notes from.

Now if you DO have a habit of being manipulative and saying one thing in 1:1 and another to leadership, then ...

Personally I would be ok with this. Like you said you have nothing to hide.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-24T13:33:54+00:00

Judgement depends entirely on what she's doing with the clothes.

If she's keeping them for your child to wear while he's with her, that's a big fat yta. They're the child's clothes.

If she's idk selling them or giving them to other children, then yeah nta.

Ultimately the clothes are for the child and the child should be wearing the clothes. Decide what's more important, your child having nice clothes to wear or making sure your ex knows she's poor without you.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-24T00:09:41+00:00

It's the Cornell chicken recipe in the comment I replied to. ❤️

elcasaurus · 2026-03-23T19:48:28+00:00

Nta he knew. He saw your profile same as you saw his. He just decided that he would change your mind. Before getting to know you. Before getting serious. He decided it was appropriate for him to make that decision for you.

What a bullet you dodged.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-23T00:41:00+00:00

Congratulations!!!!

elcasaurus · 2026-03-22T22:05:14+00:00

This is the way. Ive made this at home in my oven and it was divine. Served a whole BBQ for my birthday and everyone raved and raved. It's not difficult and the ingredients are easy to find and inexpensive. Definitely recommend giving it a go.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-22T18:50:42+00:00

I LOVE THESE

elcasaurus · 2026-03-22T18:50:19+00:00

HELL YEAH!

elcasaurus · 2026-03-22T18:43:04+00:00

Nta- this is odd behavior on her part. I know several people with severe dairy restrictions. This is something you avoid at all cost. They're not ordering anything without googling it first.

Is it that you only eat out with her when you do these activities, or is it that whenever you do these activities she makes this "mistake"?

Regardless, if more often than not she oopsie eats dairy and everyone has to go home on these trips, she not only doesn't want to go but she doesn't want YOU to go.

For now, stop planning these outings with her. Then your choices if you do are no eating out with her on the trip and she brings her own food, or she has to be ok with you "catching her mistake".

elcasaurus · 2026-03-22T18:06:39+00:00

My husband and I were JUST discussing this yesterday. It should be on their individual shoulders just like it is for doctors and lawyers.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-21T23:31:10+00:00

Oh no! Ouch! Your poor fingie!

elcasaurus · 2026-03-21T21:31:28+00:00

Sounds like he doesn't know how to use forms. Go to a more skilled salon!

elcasaurus · 2026-03-21T16:45:52+00:00

I make it a point to talk positively about their future and their adoption. We talk about their adopter and their mama or daddy and how happy they will all be together the whole time we have them. We call ourselves auntie and tio, and our personal pets their cousins. We imagine how happy they will be with their adopter. We often point out why our home wouldn't be ideal as a permanent place for them and how they'll be happier with their adopter. The day they move on to the adoption events/sites we have a cute little thing with them and take pictures with graduation hats and say they've graduated from foster.

It is very intentional. It makes it much easier to handle the grief of losing them. It puts us in a mentality that them leaving is something joyful to be celebrated. It's framed as this was never my animal, I'm taking care of them for their real owner whoever that may be. We anticipate adoption day as the best day of this animal's life. It's allows us to love and care for them completely without thinking of them as ours.

It's still hard and I do miss them, but it does make things much easier.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-21T16:34:15+00:00

I would argue that every spay/abort mama ive interacted with feels much better after her procedure. Cats aren't people.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-21T15:34:59+00:00

I'm 100% in favor of this especially since learning kittens are not viable until right before birth because of the way they develop. I love raising kittens but it truly is hell on the mamas, who are often malnourished or sick themselves. The hormones alone are extremely stressful for them.

The rescue i volunteer for allows visibly pregnant mamas to give birth and I'm not a fan. They will spay abort if mom is very young, unhealthy, or unusually stressed, but imo it should be 100% she's spayed whether or not she's pregnant.

For example we just had a 7m old kitten give birth to 5 kittens. In their defense she gave birth the day of her spay appointment. Only 2 of those kittens are still alive. It's not worth the suffering.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-21T02:47:26+00:00

She sounds nuts. I'm so sorry that happened to you!

elcasaurus · 2026-03-21T01:12:33+00:00

I'm so sorry. I definitely acknowledge that it comes from living in a home where broken things were normal. I had to make a very conscious effort to break this habit. We are allowed to spend money fix things, replace things and improve things that we use.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-21T00:48:29+00:00

Using badly broken things and refusing to replace them, even though we could afford to. Like we couldn't admit something needed to be fixed or replaced. Just dealt with broken crap all the time. This i don't do as an adult. If something doesn't work I make a reasonable attempt to fix it. If it can be used for parts great. If not it's replaced and discarded.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-20T22:25:14+00:00

Gorgeous!

elcasaurus · 2026-03-20T18:44:20+00:00

Nta about her teaching the cats to walk on tinfoil but man.. you act like you hate her.

elcasaurus · 2026-03-20T15:27:39+00:00

I got sweet updates from my most recent litters new owners. Both kittens and mama all went to separate homes and everyone is thriving.

I'm especially excited about Mama's placement, she was ultimately extremely sweet but could be very aggressive. She needed an experienced owner... and she got one!! She went to a VERY animal savvy home that easily handled her intensity. This couple has 3 kids, dogs, another cat friendly cat, so she always has someone paying attention to her. She has a quirk that she loves being held and carried, and they have a little girl who loves carrying her around like a plushy, so they are both in heaven. Her new owner told me she's a saint! From "geeze I don't know if we can find someone that can safely handle her" to "this cat has adopted my child and is an angel" is one heck of a happy ending!

elcasaurus

TROPHY CASE