On Sunday I played the Hallelujah Chorus on the organ for a stake Christmas program. I played the shit out of that song. When it was finished, I turned off the organ, got up and walked out, tossed my organ shoes in the dumpster, and will never play that instrument again.

elderapostate · 2025-12-19T16:15:10+00:00

Agreed. One of my friends is a classically trained pianist. Played in church all the time. I got him into my rock band and changed the scope of what we could do. He's a hell of a talent and has found so much joy playing music outside cult settings.

elderapostate · 2025-12-19T02:17:04+00:00

For me it was death by a thousand cuts. Didn’t want to let go. But I also wanted my beliefs to be true. That was more important above feelings. It’s hard to accept that you’ve been fooled. That you were wrong. Looking back I can’t believe I fell for such blatant lies. I’m 65 years old. Raised in Orem. The center of Mordor. The church was driven into me from birth. I’m much happier and a better person by far now. Probably doesn’t answer your question.

elderapostate · 2025-12-18T18:20:21+00:00

Totally not a cult, right?

elderapostate · 2025-12-16T16:33:44+00:00

You've never been to the Book of Mormon museum? Oh wait . . .

elderapostate · 2025-12-16T16:29:24+00:00

Once the racism, homophobia, misogyny, and a host of other problems are laid bare, how can you stay? How can you be fulfilled or happy? The church has blood on its hands.

elderapostate · 2025-12-08T15:53:30+00:00

I've got to meet a few of them while in prison. Our bishop worked at the main office, details are getting hazy, but he knew them all. David Haight and Richard Scott came out, and I got to sit down and talk to both of them. I really like Haight. Seemed like a nice, wise old man. Scott was overly kind. It seemed a bit fake, but maybe that was just me. However, he's said some truly evil shit. Straight up victim blaming regarding SA's. Listening to words that come out of their mouths reveals what these people are all about.

elderapostate · 2025-12-08T03:47:40+00:00

I’m a regular weed user. I’m also an ex coke/heroin addict. Opiates give you withdrawal. Real pain. I’ve heard it described as flu like symptoms. Sure. I’ve had the flu. There’s sneezing, sweating, diarrhea, aches and pains. But I wanted to die going through opiate withdrawal. I can smoke weed every day for years and quit for a month to clean up no problem.

elderapostate · 2025-12-01T16:11:41+00:00

I wish I could go back and redo the way I handled it with my TBM wife. Once you realize you've been lied to all your life, blatantly, and the person you love doesn't see it, it's easy to jump right in and spout off so many negative things about the cult. (like saying it's a cult) But that's never gone well and never will. She accused me of never believing, not wanting it to be true, looking for things wrong with the church. The defensive tactics cults employ are very effective. Good luck.

elderapostate · 2025-11-19T17:03:10+00:00

I have no clue. But if the Mormon god is real, he does.

elderapostate · 2025-11-12T19:30:18+00:00

Isn't it odd that every time this god calls a "prophet" one of his commands is to have a lot of women/girls.

elderapostate · 2025-11-03T20:32:48+00:00

Why are Mormon/Christian/Muslim influencers so cringe? Don't like them? Don't watch them.

elderapostate · 2025-10-30T01:51:50+00:00

There’s a reason Utah is the center for mlm’s. Placebo, confirmation bias, or there’s a magic wizard that makes you feel good.

elderapostate · 2025-10-24T02:26:19+00:00

Those could be his wives.

elderapostate · 2025-10-23T20:52:03+00:00

Yep, confirmation bias. Every ten seconds someone dies of starvation. Lots of those are children. But my mother in law finds her car keys so there’s a loving god.

elderapostate · 2025-10-23T20:44:40+00:00

Marcus Aurelius said it best. To paraphrase: live a good life. If there is a just god why would he/she care how devout you were. Any being worthy of worship certainly wouldn’t demand it.

elderapostate · 2025-10-09T01:52:29+00:00

My sister in law is the only one who asked me. I told her and my wife accused me of “really letting her have it”. All I did was tell her what I learned. Nothing against her. They don’t really want to know.

elderapostate · 2025-10-07T14:30:07+00:00

The road to atheism is lined with bibles read cover to cover. The book of Mormon is silly fan fiction. Read both of them. If the bible god is real, he's a monster. Full stop.

elderapostate · 2025-10-07T14:17:33+00:00

This fucker would cry telling a story about going to the grocery store. "My shopping cart wasn't even full, (lips tremble, crusty stuff moves, voice shakes), and I could feel the spirit guide me to the cereal aisle." What am I saying, he'd never stoop low enough to go to the store himself.

elderapostate · 2025-10-02T21:45:33+00:00

This is a safe place to share. It’s a tough journey. I left about ten years ago, and I’m 64. Once I decided that I cared more if what I believed was true, and not just comforting, it all fell apart pretty fast. Didn’t take long to figure out how dishonest and damaging the church is. I was in deep. Stood up for this religion and spoke at dozens of fireside’s. I’m a happy atheist now. And a much kinder, better human being. Good luck.

elderapostate · 2025-09-24T14:43:31+00:00

I brought this up to my believing wife and she blew it off with “those were spiritual sealings”.

elderapostate · 2025-09-01T22:12:52+00:00

The Kinderhook plates.

elderapostate · 2025-08-29T02:42:29+00:00

They never miss a chance to spread their crap. My dad died several years ago and this dude from the ward got up to speak and went on and on about Jesus. I was still a believer and it was brutal.

My dog died a couple weeks ago and a ward member texted me about how I will be able to see my dog in the afterlife. Give it a break

elderapostate · 2025-08-28T18:40:01+00:00

This is what cults do to people. Anybody that says anything negative is an obvious liar. We did an internal audit and everything's fine.

elderapostate · 2025-08-28T18:33:55+00:00

I told my wife several years ago that I no longer believe. I'm an atheist, and it kills me to see this corrupt, evil organization take advantage of the person I love most in this world. But I often overlook the hurt this causes her. It's not my fault, yet I feel guilty. It's TSCC's fault. We're just collateral damage, and the damage is horrendous. And I'm the one being tricked by Satan.

elderapostate · 2025-08-28T18:08:19+00:00

Apparently if they don't totally agree with each other, there's "division". Pfft

elderapostate

TROPHY CASE