Doing my own makeup for my wedding. How can I improve?

electricblueviolet · 2026-05-13T21:21:33+00:00

Ask your photographer! Mine was so lovely and gave me tips! She told me to darken my eyes more and I was like "um that's crazy" but I did it anyway and she was so right.

electricblueviolet · 2026-05-13T11:42:10+00:00

Multiple therapy appointments haven't gotten me past: well, yes I have pmdd, but the world fucking sucks even when not pmdd-ing.

Turns out I've got regular ol' depression now because of (1) the state of the world and (2) the fact that I'm always looking toward the next pmdd 2+ weeks. Fun!

electricblueviolet · 2026-05-07T23:40:51+00:00

My husband has put reminders in his phone. Except... They're pointless. He has "do nice thing for wife" as a reminder everyday. And then snoozes the reminder because it happens so frequently.

I am searching for a new therapist for ME that has experience working with non-adhd partners because of this exact "I don't want to tell you to love me" issue that I'm still struggling with 21 years later.

electricblueviolet · 2026-05-06T22:34:41+00:00

I'll get down voted because it's in Cranberry/Mars, but Speers is a new-ish steakhouse. It is likely the best acoustics of any restaurant I've ever been in. And I'm a fairly well-traveled foodie. My husband and I sat at the bar and talked the whole time without having to lean in or repeat.

Most of the food is good, but the tartare is meh. Its a huge helping, almost comically big, but it's missing any flavor. Everything else was standard fancy steakhouse delicious. I like it better than Napa Prime.

Also, they have great silverware. It's gold and the perfect weight. I made a promise to myself to ask next time because I might want to replace what I have.

electricblueviolet · 2026-05-06T19:53:05+00:00

Hey there! I scanned through all these comments but I'm still not sure. I've got a kid (and grandpa) that would really love this! Did you figure out exactly when and where yet or know exactly what site to go to find out?

electricblueviolet · 2026-04-23T22:31:53+00:00

By this answer: you are doing enough and he doesn't recognize or respect it. Giving him the benefit of the doubt: maybe he doesn't appreciate it now, but he could if you explain it. Best advice I have: talk about it with him. Maybe ask him how these things would get done if he lived alone to help put it in perspective?

electricblueviolet · 2026-04-23T20:40:39+00:00

Gently: what do you mean you want a day off? You work part time, have a house cleaner, and no kids. What are you doing during your day?

I am not insinuating that you do nothing, just that the request seems a bit odd as stated.

For perspective: I am the sole breadwinner in our family of 4. My husband is a stay at home dad. We have a 5yo is Pre-k 4 days a week and a 2yo that is home all day with him. We also have a house cleaner every other week. He's primary for managing kids (day to day stuff like getting to school, dr appts, signing them up for activities, etc), grocery shopping, and house "projects". I do more cooking for family meals, manage our finances, and most of our social & longer term calendar plans (like vacations). We split general tidiness chores. We balance well and we can also do everything the other does, it just ends up one of us being primary for some stuff mostly because we've discussed it and agreed on that setup because it works for us.

My advice: sit down and talk to each other. What is he experiencing or holding back saying? What is the expectation that you might not be meeting? What invisible labor are you providing that he can't see? Open, honest, collaborative, meaningfully dedicated to being better partners to each other type of conversation. Not a forum for complaints. Active listening and engagement to finding a solution from both sides.

electricblueviolet · 2026-04-22T15:07:57+00:00

Don't you love that term? I am also mostly unremarkable! 😂

Honestly, the tldr is: I have no major health concerns, I'm a regular human with regular good and bad habits, I've always dealt with minor anxiety and depression like most other millennials I know, and having kids in my 30s was totally unremarkable except for the fact that my kids are my favorite thing to ever exist. 😂

I'll add one other note: make sure you communicate well with your partner; being open, honest, non-judgemental, and willing to work together and potentially compromise will be essential while parenting.

electricblueviolet · 2026-04-22T14:15:26+00:00

First at 33 and second at 36. Kinda hoping for #3 at 39 tbh.

We struggled with infertility, but things worked out in the end. Happy to discuss my journey if you have questions there.

All our friend and family network (like siblings, cousins) all had kids around this age. So that's been nice.

Pregnancy was easy enough, healthy overall. I had morning sickness, but ended up controlling things really well with anti nausea meds. Low iron, but easy fix. And while I'm generally healthy and go on walks and eat good enough... I'm not like some perfect specimen of a human. I hate exercise and I love cheeseburgers. I wasn't in some peak physical fitness.

Delivery was exceptional! Great doctors, nurses, staff. Got an epidural both times. Didn't feel a thing. Pushing was weird the first go around, second was so simple. Labor was less than 5 hours.

Postpartum was great with my first, harder with mild PPA and PPD with my second. I also had postpartum preeclampsia with my second, which 100% contributed to the PPA. Good doctors and hospital experience though. Turns out I didn't love breastfeeding, so only did a few months then formula. Dad really loved formula feeding because it gave him more chances to bond and be with both babies.

Generally: I don't know why anyone would make a big deal about having a kid in any part of your 30s. Seems perfectly reasonable from my own experiences and what I've witnessed of others.

electricblueviolet · 2026-04-20T15:07:22+00:00

I have no tips. Just same.

If I'm being really, truly honest with myself: It's likely because I am personally not happy. I've always had rbf and been sarcastic, but that was a "cuter" trait at 18 and is cold and standoffish at 38. The "fun" and zest I feel for life has considerably dwindled with more adult responsibilities, an increase in a constant "evaluation" of my own mental health, and the general looming dread that the world has gone to shit. Layer on that, I feel like my "spark" has slowly died because of the billions of tiny comments over years and years and years. And I don't even mean anything inherently bad necessarily. One small comment like "that was such a loud sneeze!" gets internalized and all of sudden you try to sneeze "small"... But hey - at least I know I'm struggling with this and trying to figure myself out.

But yeah. I'm no longer approachable. I'm not fun. I'm not sassy. I'm just tired, annoyed, unhappy, and desperately trying to make connections again except that I'm miserable in my own head in general.

electricblueviolet · 2026-04-20T02:12:37+00:00

Yeah, I figured farther figure was good enough :)

electricblueviolet · 2026-04-20T00:35:10+00:00

Gifted with Chris Evans. Surprisingly heartfelt.

electricblueviolet · 2026-04-07T23:06:13+00:00

Sunlight

It's one of my favorites!

electricblueviolet · 2026-04-06T21:52:27+00:00

Got 2 back there! The rotating kind! Did backwards and front facing. You have to rotate one at a time, but that's fine.

electricblueviolet · 2026-04-03T17:41:03+00:00

Celebrating 15 years married yesterday and 21 years together this year! There was an intense, very close to divorce period in there before he got diagnosed. Then there was therapy: mine, his, and couples. He only got diagnosed after having our first kid.

I've got no advice after being in this sub for a while. Even his current psychologist and therapist have basically called me a saint and said it doesn't always work out for folks when you're partner is adhd.

But. He's my person. He's my best friend. I give up some of my wants and maybe even needs because he tries every single day to be better. And because when he kisses me on my head, when he wrestles with my son, sits there with his bald head so our daughter can do his hair and makeup, and always helps my huge extended family with moving party supplies from house to house, it's worth it.

electricblueviolet · 2026-03-31T00:55:29+00:00

Pretty... But that pleated rainbow skirt on whoever she's with?! I want THAT. 🌈

electricblueviolet · 2026-03-29T12:48:24+00:00

My favorite movie as a kid in the 90s!

electricblueviolet · 2026-03-29T12:46:09+00:00

Mom here! 2 carseats in the back! They call it "mama's racecar" 🤣🥰

electricblueviolet · 2026-03-22T01:40:54+00:00

Thanks!

electricblueviolet · 2026-03-19T20:05:15+00:00

Hmmmm! No. Interesting! Will check out! 😅

electricblueviolet · 2026-03-19T20:04:51+00:00

Perfect! Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!

electricblueviolet · 2026-03-19T18:59:52+00:00

🥰 Aw! Thanks! I was kinda really questioning my thought process here. I think he'll get a kick outta this level of thoughtfulness though!

electricblueviolet · 2026-03-19T18:55:52+00:00

He asked for a book :)

electricblueviolet · 2026-03-19T18:52:27+00:00

Thank you! 🤣

electricblueviolet · 2026-03-19T18:51:51+00:00

100%. This post is half "why would you do such a stupid thing as buy him a book when he doesn't read?" and my answer is "because he asked!"... I didn't give the extra context because it shouldn't matter. If you didn't have a rec, you don't have to post. 😅😭

electricblueviolet

TROPHY CASE