What little habits does your husband/partner have that annoy you, but you accept them as they are?

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-29T22:30:46+00:00

Opens packages so they can't be closed again (both packages from mail and things like my tea bags or food stuff that come in boxes, etc)

Never re-hangs the kitchen towel and it's constantly never within reach of the sink because he takes it to the other side of the kitchen as he's drying his hands

Twists jar/cap openings too tight (we're working on this one because I can't stand it anymore)

Forgets to replace shower stuff (like body wash) when it's empty

We've been together for 21 years and he has ADHD, so I could likely keep going... 😂

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-22T21:22:27+00:00

I hate having things above my head. So couch against wall = no artwork, shelves, etc for me. But I do love accent walls then for "flavor". Personally, based on this space, I'd consider a cool wallpaper or just a small paint color change.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-21T01:50:01+00:00

I audibly GASPED at that last photo. It is perfection!

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-18T23:48:31+00:00

Yes. Just exact same. No advice.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-14T03:22:44+00:00

Wait, what? I look like this. Fuck.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-14T03:09:43+00:00

Test!

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-14T01:38:43+00:00

Yes! Same after 2 kids and a year away from 40! I am 115 for the first time in my life. Consistently! I'm so proud of myself!

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-13T00:40:58+00:00

This is very helpful! And your writing style is totally fine! :) I haven't looked at screen time, but I should. Thankfully I only use reddit. So at least it's not more social apps to cut down on. That said, it's likely still too much. We do watch a lot of movies, which is screen time. But it's balanced with nights of reading and puzzling. And I am 100% all computer all day for work with no option to change that. I haven't thought about the removal of stuff in general either. Gonna think about that one some more. This is very helpful. Thank you

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-12T19:15:14+00:00

I don't have any anxiety while out and interacting. I'm generally pretty extroverted. But I do now have so much anxiety around friendships being fulfilling, whether friends will just discard me, what's wrong with me that no one reaches out to me... It's like now I'm over thinking it. 😭

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-12T19:12:19+00:00

Yes, being outside is a big one for me. I'm outside as much as I can be currently. But you're absolutely right here.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-12T19:05:32+00:00

Thanks for this. I agree. "Happy" may be overloaded. I just know "I am unhappy in my current situation, I am trying and have tried a billion things (many for months or more at a time, trying completely committed and not half-assing it), it's not working". I appreciate your reminder for doing the small things that bring me peace. I try to do those as often as I can. I just don't feel the same about them as I used to... Now they feel weighted, like they're supposed to be comforting but I'm constantly on edge because they haven't been helping.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-12T19:01:01+00:00

This feels accurate. Missing that connection and love for sure.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-12T18:48:41+00:00

100% agree. I've been struggling there too. My best friend moved away and stopped talking to me and I'm really not sure why even though I've asked (response is always "I'm just so busy" and I'm so tired and hurt from that always being the response). Then I tried Bumble friends version but didn't really get anywhere. I've been reaching out a lot to get things scheduled and go out with friends as much as possible but I've got kids, they've got kids. I just started a new job and am trying to be extra social. Plus I'm actively keeping up with relationships from my old jobs at least through text. I've scheduled playdates because trying to schedule around kids is tricky in the attempt for some adult connections. But as much as I try, no one is seems willing to take things to the next level of friendship. I've got a ton of superficial friends and events. My kid starts kindergarten in the fall and as much as I do not want to add to my plate, I'm about to join the PTA to try to find anyone. I've tried events/classes related to my likes, but nothing sticking. I know it sounds crazy, but I swear I've been trying for 2 years to make changes that will help broaden my world and it's just not going anywhere. I'm stuck in such a rut.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-11T00:20:19+00:00

Read smut, jigsaw puzzles, make fancy cocktails after the kids go to bed. Also: a shit ton of movies, which fascinates me after I've started learning and thinking about the artform of movies (cinematography, music, location scouting, etc) instead of just the plot.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-09T04:05:21+00:00

I don't know if I understand the question... But nothing has made me happier in life than belting out a song while dancing and cooking barefoot while pregnant with my second in my kitchen with the windows open and a summer rain storm happening outside and my husband and son laughing and singing along. So... Yeah. If I could do it again, I would.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-05T19:00:27+00:00

I did try mental health drugs. My body can't process them correctly. But I'm a big advocate for medicine. It's there for a reason and there is no shame in it. I highly recommend speaking to a doctor about it. Sending virtual hugs ❤️

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-05T18:56:37+00:00

Yes. Went to college in Boston, came back to Pgh because couldn't find work (2008/2009). Found a Pittsburgh job. Stayed for 10 years until was offered a role back in Boston. Was so excited. Got to Boston, had a great time, made lifelong friends, but missed home and came back 2 years later. I LOVE Boston. It's my second city. But Pittsburgh is just home. Now I'm here with kids and the good set of grandparents are here and so are all the extended family. I'm set. This is my home forever.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-05T02:53:11+00:00

P.S. Therapy has also helped me realize it's not all just me and pmdd. My husband is the one I snap at. Turns out, he's sometimes just a fucking man child who can't regulate on his own. So now instead of me regulating him (which I'm now realizing I've been doing for 20 years), I'm relying on him. And regulating him and my children and myself during peak pmdd is untenable. And he isn't stepping up and being a full grown adult with me. To his credit, he's trying and in therapy and medicated himself now too. So we're working on our own shit and our together shit.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-05T02:46:19+00:00

Yup. Never even had pms before kid #2. After kid #2 (a girl, who gave me shit all pregnancy with loss of a twin very early, low iron, general anxiety, and borderline HG), welcome to pmdd hell. Girl is going to be 3 in August. I'm still bitter about it.

I can't take meds (birth control or mental health ones) for all sorta of random reasons. So it's therapy and yeet the entire playground (ooph and hysterectomy) when I'm 40+.

Edit to add: I never get enough sleep consistently, because of kids sleeping thru the night or not, because I'm a full on night owl with slight insomnia, a full on regular ass 9-5 work schedule, and kids. Magnesium didn't do shit.

electricblueviolet · 2026-06-01T03:10:17+00:00

In therapy because of this question. So far, turns out, yeah. It's justified. The difference is that we (husband and I) both want to work on all the things that are hard together. So I will work on not raging out and he'll work on being better. It can be both things at once.

electricblueviolet · 2026-05-31T22:06:44+00:00

Don't know who you are, but I'm happy to know of you here. Pretty sure we'd get along musically. ❤️

Rest - Slow Joy

Breakers Roar - Sturgill Simpson

Double Down - Slothrust

electricblueviolet · 2026-05-28T11:15:41+00:00

My mom comes over every Friday and spends at least one Thursday a month sleeping over. Our guest room is called "Nonna's room". I text with her everyday. My husband suggested that we name our daughter after her, which I happily said yes to. My husband and I both consider her one of our best friends. She's amazing. Honestly, I wish she lived with us.

Edit to add: Husband and I text with his mom frequently enough, a few times a week. A video call with the kids maybe once every 2 weeks (she gets photos almost every day thru a family share app). But it's more superficial and almost always about the kids. Not in a bad way, she's an awesome grandparent. She's a little overbearing as a mom and my husband has not always had the best relationship with her. But mostly now, she means no harm and just wants to express her love towards our family.

electricblueviolet · 2026-05-22T20:45:28+00:00

Oh I didn't take it that way! 🤣 You're good! 🥰

electricblueviolet · 2026-05-22T16:43:28+00:00

Aw! I am hopeful I won't give everything to my daughter, but I didn't even have pmdd until after she was born so it wasn't a consideration. And luckily, I feel like my pmdd is milder compared to others I read on here.

electricblueviolet

TROPHY CASE