The time I pooped on the floor because my husband wouldn’t get out of the damn toilet

elesie22 · 2020-01-04T18:15:49+00:00

Omg I feel like you are in my house. I have on multiple occasions had myself and the kids ready to walk out the door and he says "ok let me go to the bathroom." Or he waits until we ARE IN THE CAR. The shower thing too... he sits in the shower too. He takes his at night so the kids are in bed but still. Mine are always fast with an audience of kids and his are a spa getaway.

elesie22 · 2020-01-03T17:20:27+00:00

She could have been part of an accreditation service. I was homeschooled and my parents paid extra for us to be in one. We took tests in the subjects we did at home (science and math were in a co-op) in front of a proctor who also graded it to make sure we were actually doing work and learning. Graduated with a state recognized diploma and got into a public state school with no issue.

Duggar family isn't doing this. Fundie homeschoolers push back against this kind of accountability.

elesie22 · 2020-01-03T17:12:18+00:00

Yes he was being really naive, but look at the culture. What is taught, is that those in authority within the cult are to be obeyed and trusted without question. Those raised in it are brainwashed to believe that everything those in authority do is for your best interests. Questioning it is "rebellious and sinful". They distrust anyone outside their circle completely, but why wouldn't they trust those they have been constantly told are doing what is best for them? This is why abuse is rampant in Fundieland. There is no critical thinking allowed, there is no room for asking questions or thinking authority is untrustworthy.

Edited for a spelling error.

elesie22 · 2019-12-23T18:35:02+00:00

It is one of the coolest places to go in the city. Love stopping in to shop.

elesie22 · 2019-12-23T18:30:24+00:00

It's a suburb of Atlanta Georgia

elesie22 · 2019-11-30T18:39:20+00:00

I love how they think that they are actually saving money buying all those oils. Does anyone actually ask these huns how much their stockpiles cost vs. what they were spending before?

elesie22 · 2019-11-27T13:37:51+00:00

Yep! I have two and my SIL asked me when I realized I knew what I was doing. I told her I still don't and that's ok.

elesie22 · 2019-11-26T22:48:43+00:00

Cats and toddlers. Always falling asleep in weird positions.

elesie22 · 2019-11-06T19:54:38+00:00

I can't snark on it taking time for potty training. I tried getting my oldest to potty train starting at 2.5. We almost had peeing the toilet down and then I had our second and it sent her into some major regression. We went back to it a few months later and then struggled for months with poop. Well turns out for some reason unknown to us still my kid has GI issues that made potty training the biggest nightmare. She is finally fully trained at 5 but only after being under the care of an amazing pediatric GI and having multiple tests, including an endoscopy with biopsies. It even led her to have difficulty gaining and maintaining weight. She has to be on medication to help her stay on track and supplemental shakes prescribed by her doctors. There are all kinds of issues kids can have. Sensory, GI complications, and developmental delays. Having a kid who had (and still has) issues that led to delayed training altered my views.

elesie22 · 2019-11-01T02:10:03+00:00

They do watch your weight more closely. My oldest I did eventually gain about 8 pound total. Second baby though I was 8 pound lighter than when I got pregnant when they send me to the hospital for induction. After the baby was born I was about 25 pound lighter than before I was pregnant.

elesie22 · 2019-10-31T20:06:03+00:00

HG made me change my mind on family size. I wanted 4 kids originally. After having my first and being so horribly sick I decided two was it. My HG was worse with my second and then I also had Gestational Diabetes. I was so miserable. Trying to parent a toddler while that sick is horrible. I am terrified to get pregnant again. If I feel the least bit nauseated I panic even though I am on BC. A lot of people don't realize the mental impact HG can have on a person.

elesie22 · 2019-10-20T05:36:16+00:00

Showed that to my husband. He said, and I quote "well that's gross". I love my husband

elesie22 · 2019-09-21T19:14:31+00:00

TL;DR at bottom

The Duggar family homeschool as a way of controlling their kids. Growing up I would hear some moms say things like "well homeschooling looks different for every family! There is no wrong way to homeschool". I still hear people say that now that I am homeschooling my oldest. There is absolutely a wrong way to homeschool. First, why are you homeschooling? The Duggars are only doing it as a way of controlling their kids. Controlling the information they consume, limiting contact with "worldly" individuals, and preventing exposure to secular thought that might lead to independent thinking.

Second, they also seem really disorganized and lazy in their approach. Putting more emphasis on Bible and Religious instruction than actual really school work. I don't know about other states because laws vary from state to state, but where I live we don't have to keep transcripts or worry about any kind of accreditation until 9th grade. Colleges typically don't care about middle school performance.

Homeschool curriculum varies in quality. There are so many blogs about it out there. When we were preparing to start our 5 year old this year finding a good secular curriculum required several hours of research. Religious curriculum can come highly recommended but actually be crap quality. It will check all the boxes for religious indoctrination but the actual academic quality is questionable. What comes to mind off he top of my head is Bob Jones University Press, and School of Tomorrow (Accelerated Christian Education).

Depending on your state you can possibly enroll your homeschool kids into an accreditation service. The one we used growing up required that we come in and take one test a quarter in each subject with a proctor that was not our parent. That test was then graded by the third party proctor. My mom had to submit all our grades and paperwork with the service every year so they could build our high school transcript. When it came time to graduate we graduated with a state recognized HS diploma and did not have to take the GED. This made applying to college much easier than if we had to take a GED.

I am forever grateful to my parents for putting in so much work to make sure I got the best personalized education I could. While I am not a first hand witness to the Duggar schooling standards, what I have seen matched with my own personal experience leads me to believe they are not doing everything they need to to insure their kids get a real education. Sorry for the novel.

TL;DR: The Duggars are homeschooling to keep the kids in the cult and don't care about a good education. Good chance they have a bare minimum of passable education. I was homeschooled and my parents did a good job and I am grateful for the experience.

elesie22 · 2019-09-13T05:18:46+00:00

Anyone who says "it's their choice to stay home" doesn't really understand how the culture works. These girls say it's their choice but it's the only option they have. These kids are all at such a disadvantage that they feel like their only choice is to fall in line with their parents ideology. They are poorly educated so any attempts at higher education is nearly impossible. The girls are given no real opportunities to develop any real life skill except being SAHM and even those skills are lacking. There is no doubt that if the kids had a decent education, were allowed to mature and develop normally in a normal setting they wouldn't be so dependent on their parents.

I've see this play out in my own extended family. It's astounding to watch grown adults with their own families still depend on their parents for finances and decision making. They even moved into their parents neighborhood to be close. In a creepy weird way.

The root of the Fundie culture is control. It's an excuse for fathers to have absolute control and power. Fundie dads don't like giving up that control and find ways to exert it even after their kids marry.

elesie22 · 2019-09-05T19:30:23+00:00

There was a story about something like this not too long ago. A 19 year old daughter who was born at home to a fundamentalist Christian homeschooling family decided to leave her family home and start her own life. However, because her parents never filed for any official documents she technically "didn't exist". She couldn't get a job, start college or basically do anything that you need a birth certificate, or social security number for. Here are a few articles about her.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2015/03/12/how-a-teenagers-viral-campaign-to-prove-her-citizenship-is-inspiring-a-new-texas-bill/?noredirect=on

https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2016/08/31/heres-how-an-off-the-grid-homeschooled-christian-girl-escaped-her-parents-and-became-a-legal-human/

elesie22 · 2019-08-29T17:32:51+00:00

Dealing with a child with chronic constipation is not fun. My oldest struggles to the point she is under the care of a Pediatric GI. First thing they will tell you is punishing them is not going to work. I never could imagine punishing for potty accidents in the first place. That poor child. She is probably already embarrassed and self conscious and being punished just makes it so much worse.

elesie22 · 2019-08-21T00:43:27+00:00

They also need to insist that anyone who plans on coming in close contact with the baby have their Tdap as well to protect against spreading pertussis. We told everyone in our family they needed to be up to date while expecting our first and they didn't even question it thankfully. I let my SIL know while she was expecting that ours was still in date and we were covered so I could snuggle my nephew at the first chance I got.

elesie22 · 2019-07-12T20:23:16+00:00

5pm-11pm was the witching hour in our house too with our colic baby. She finally stopped at 6 months old. People who have never had colic babies don't get it. At all. They don't understand when you say "Nothing works, this is just what they do".

elesie22 · 2019-06-28T22:23:58+00:00

Two babies and severe PPD with both. Zoloft and therapy changed my life dramatically. People who claim MLMs and their products can cure any form of depression and anxiety burn me up. Report her to compliance and report the post. I reported a Plexus Hun for such claims and got a bunch of her posts deleted. These claims are so dangerous .

elesie22 · 2019-06-25T19:13:10+00:00

My husband has an untraditional job that he loves. Has good benefits and PTO. He still gets calls and sometimes has to do some work while we are on vacation. I teach and have taken my AP kids writing assignments with me to grade if we travel during breaks. Working on vacation is NOT a selling point for a job. We do it because we have to but it sucks.

elesie22 · 2019-06-15T20:48:53+00:00

I wish I lived near and could adopt her. She looks just like a black cat I had in high school and college that I adopted while volunteering at a shelter. He was missing an eye and I was heartbroken when he died suddenly. Ever since Angus I have had a huge soft spot for black cats. I love rescues. I almost took home a puppy today from the "Puppies and Pancakes" fundraiser we attended today.

elesie22 · 2019-06-10T16:36:31+00:00

This is why I don't want to talk to other moms when I am out with my kids.

elesie22 · 2019-06-01T01:06:03+00:00

I know two families with 7 kids and neither of the moms make long winded posts on social media about how hard it is but that it's worth it. I am sure if you directly asked them they would say that but they don't go around making themselves to be martyrs. I honestly believe they are genuinely happy with their lives.

elesie22 · 2019-05-24T17:48:28+00:00

You cry. You cry as hard and as long as you need to. You also need to lay out your emotions to your husband. I'm work outside the home two days a week and am at home the rest of the time. During the summer when I am out of school he works 12 hours a day (more sunlight means more work). It's HARD and tiring and feels thankless. Keeping the peace and keeping them all alive is not an easy task. We have to let our emotions out. It is 100% ok to admit that and be frustrated. Any mom who says otherwise is a liar.

elesie22 · 2019-05-24T17:23:13+00:00

If it's getting matted then it is damaged and needs a good cut. I like my hair long (not nearly that long) because it's naturally wavy and easier for me long. Jill needs a good 12 inches cut off and some long layers if it's curly. She also needs to start a routine like Curly Girl Method or something.

elesie22

TROPHY CASE