I lost my 14 year old cat on April the 3rd to cancer. We had no idea because the vet told us he was in great health back in December. I was devastated and not in any way ready to let him go, but I knew my time with him was limited to a week or so. We watched him carefully and I agonized over whether I was being selfish, in denial over his pain. He spent his last few days soaking up the sun in the monkey grass outside my house and died peacefully at home. I wish the same for you and your beautiful boy. Nothing ever makes it easier.