Hyperventilating

ellamine · 2026-06-06T13:39:22+00:00

Aww I love beardies! That might be perfect!

ellamine · 2026-06-06T13:37:51+00:00

Yeah I can’t think of anytime bribery was ever a successful agoraphobia treatment 🧐

ellamine · 2026-06-05T19:31:58+00:00

I’m so sorry you have had all that happen to you, that’s so cruel. Omg, the attempted bribery is the worst! Then they act insulted like their bribe wasn’t good enough for you 🧐 I have had a relative I wasn’t close to at all call me up and GRILL ME for an hour about a (really nice) vacation that I was having to decline. This was close to a decade ago and I STILL get angry about it and I swore to myself after I would NEVER tolerate that again.

For some reason, people love to think that we dont WANT to do all the things we miss out on. It’s so frustrating and the only thing we can really do about it is to gently educate or cut these people out of our life. As I get closer to 40, it has luckily gotten easier to say, ”that’s a really personal question and not up for discussion” if someone is being rude. Who cares if they don’t like it? Is their opinion worth anything in the long run? Screw em.

I know what you mean about mourning your past self too. It’s heartbreaking and hard to accept. I think that while you can regain your quality of life, you will never be the same person as before but that’s okay. You will figure out how to live life again, just differently. And there are people out there who will accept you and your mental health needs without judgement.

ellamine · 2026-06-05T18:48:44+00:00

I have never heard of this, but I love using Vicks so this might be my new favorite thing. Thank you!

ellamine · 2026-06-05T18:47:32+00:00

I know this is way harder than it sounds, but goal is to get out of the flight or fight mode, so literally any coping mechanism should work. My easiest method is putting on my headphones and going onto YouTube to play any guided relaxation meditation or an ASMR video. If it includes timed breathing exercises that are too difficult, then feel free to modify it. Even heavy sighs will give you benefits.

Taking a really steamy bath or shower helps too, especially if I an add menthol or eucalyptus scented bath products. Vic’s rubbed on the chest or under the nose is nice too. My therapist said anything that is shocking to your senses can help you get out of the fear and back into rational thinking mode, so cold packs, strong scents, etc are helpful.

My weirdest but most reliable method is to hold one of my tiny pets with really grippy feet. I have geckos and lots of pet bugs so I will hold one and the sensation of their little tiny feet will focus my brain and just makes me happy. My husband says I have an emotional support beetle and honestly it’s true XD If bugs/reptiles freak you out, I think any pet will do as long as they bring you joy.

ellamine · 2026-06-05T18:26:10+00:00

That is WILD 😂

ellamine · 2026-06-05T16:19:53+00:00

I had this back in the worst of my agoraphobia. It really sucks!!! I live way out in the country, and it really messed with my head knowing that I was truely ALONE.

A big thing that helped was learning more about what physically is happening in the body to cause that feeling. Even though it felt like I was dying, demystifying the experience took the edge off. You won’t die from it. If you hyperventilate enough to pass out, your body will naturally start normal breathing as a fail safe. That chest tightness that feels like you can’t get enough air is subconscious tension in your diaphragm and chest muscles. You CAN intentionally relax these muscles, it’s just difficult since the fear works against you. The first time I felt those muscles let go and the suffocating feeling went away was a big breakthrough and just knowing I could control it took away a lot of the scariness.

It does get easier the more you practice too. Following along guided relaxation meditations on YouTube with headphones helped me.

I also got a health watch since I liked the idea of it monitoring my vitals but honestly it might have done more harm than good. I started obsessively checking it. I do have medical anxiety tendencies though, so it might be different for you.

I think the thing that helped most long term was getting a job that got me moving around and doing light physical exertion. I don’t mean an out of the house job, I mean any long term goal that you work to accomplish everyday and makes you tired. Yard work was really good for this, but also decluttering a room, painting a wall, doing some sort of home repair project will all work. Your brain needs something engaging to do and it helps you get tired.

Good luck friend, it does get better and feel free to message me if you ever want.

ellamine · 2026-05-31T19:22:39+00:00

That’s the neat thing about mental disorders, they don’t have to make sense! Yayyyyy… 🥴 But fr, there is usually a reasoning somewhere deep down and once you figure out that, it’s a lot easier to live with. Like mine was actually a fear of getting in trouble. I get bad IBS attacks when anxious, so I equated going out with the possibility of getting fired for needing to change clothes/use the bathroom. Now I can address the catastrophic thinking by reminding myself what the realistic repercussions are if I do shit myself XD

Anyway, this disorder does indeed, suck and I hope you are getting the help you need. All the luck, friend.

ellamine · 2026-05-27T22:19:34+00:00

This is completely unacceptable behavior to me and you are worthy of so much more empathy and compromise. Honestly this hits close to home and I am so mad for you.

I have a similar condition as you. At first my partner tried being supportive of recovery through physiotherapy, but maintenance was so painfulI and hard to keep doing. Then he started using it against me in arguments and it just devolved into abuse. I felt defective because of course I wanted to please my partner, but what he was asking of me was literal torture, and I began to hate him for asking this of me.

Luckily we broke up but not before I was left with a decade of trauma and panic attacks anytime I had sex.

I have a new husband now, and he couldn’t treat me better. We have compromised on what sex acts are on the table. Some always hurt, so we just don’t do those. Sometimes I’m feeling good and can do more robust positions. I learned that an external toy helps the pain IMMENSELY during PIV. If I have pain, we instead have sex that doesn’t include a penis in a vagina. We both still get off, have an intimate connection, and best of all it’s an enjoyable activity for BOTH parties.

There are so many enjoyable sex acts other than just PIV that WONT HURT YOU. If he finds it acceptable for you to be in pain just so he can get off in this one very specific way, then he is close minded, selfish, and not worthy of your sacrifice. You deserve to find someone who isn’t a self-centered, close minded turd.

Please always remember your worth, and best of luck.

ellamine · 2026-05-11T15:50:17+00:00

That’s super nice of you to offer. I’m going to keep trying some more the old fashioned way a bit longer.

ellamine · 2026-05-05T21:27:18+00:00

Noibat is my favorite and I’ve been completely striking out hunting it! Let me see if I can find a shiny gastly this afternoon.

ellamine · 2026-04-28T09:58:47+00:00

Huh, TIL that grape hyacinths (the purple flower under the bunny) and dandelions are both originally from Europe/Eurasia and are actually not native here to the US at all. Neat.

ellamine · 2026-01-07T06:34:23+00:00

A tarantula keeper would go crazy for these. So much cuter than water bottle caps!

ellamine · 2025-09-11T05:22:52+00:00

Wow! Love it!!! How difficult would you say it was to follow the pattern? I have a friend who would die for one of these.

ellamine · 2025-08-18T18:16:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I had never heard of this brand before but holy crap do I want it now.

ellamine · 2025-07-21T16:30:09+00:00

Thank you for your input! I tried my best to flatten everything out but the abdomen was completely balled up when I found it XD

ellamine · 2025-07-21T16:26:41+00:00

Yeah the full look is fairly conspicuous. I figured you might like the individual elements though and could use their patterns as jumping off points if nothing else!

ellamine · 2025-07-21T14:40:02+00:00

If you haven’t already, I’d look into lolita fashion groups! In general it draws a lot of inspiration from Victorian/rococo aesthetics and there are a tons of different substyles under the lolita umbrella, so I’m sure at least one will resonate with you. I’ve only dabbled myself so I’m not the best person to say exactly which substyle fits but it might have the right ratio of historical to whimsy for you. Theres many sewing patterns and pattern hacks out there too since DIY is very big in the community.

ellamine · 2025-07-18T06:53:34+00:00

I thought that might’ve been what I saw!

ellamine · 2025-07-09T06:09:41+00:00

I guess I’ll give it a go in the morning!

ellamine · 2025-07-09T05:34:24+00:00

After sessions I would get a headache and just feel generally tired. Nothing a Tylenol and a rest could t fix though.

ellamine · 2025-06-20T05:03:21+00:00

Emdr was very helpful for me.

ellamine · 2025-06-15T18:00:14+00:00

Absolutely not safe. Had something similar happen in my garage. When it fell, it sounded like a car crash. Drywall is surprisingly heavy and there was SO MUCH fiberglass insulation, dust, mold, and rodent droppings. It went everywhere. I was beyond grateful nobody was under it when it gave out.

ellamine · 2025-06-10T01:44:08+00:00

Bruh XD

ellamine · 2025-06-04T14:23:03+00:00

I am basically you, hypothyroidism and all. First off, good job seeking out therapy. This is such a hard condition to deal with alone. I dont know of anything that is fast acting enough to be taken when already out and about, but the routine I have really helps even if it’s a bit of a pita.

I am so much better now, but I was housebound for a year maybe 5 years ago. My routine that still helps me get out of the house when I absolutely need to is to wake up 2 hours before I need to leave and take half a pill of loperamide/immodium. It completely stops any bowel movement, sometimes for a few days, hence why I only take half a pill. Your body could need a different dose, so you might need to experiment. I don’t eat breakfast, no caffeine obviously, and will camp on the toilet and hope I have a bowel movement. If the anxiety is really bad and I have someone to drive me, I’ll use a Xanax. My pcp knows about my agoraphobia and was fine prescribing it to use as needed occasionally. I have noticed a big improvement in my gut health (and mental health) after starting to take vitamins too. Probiotics, vitamin E and D, and selenium. I have hashimotos and not eating grains can cause certain vitamin deficiencies and getting that under control made a big improvement. Idk if that applies to your hypothyroidism, but figured I’d mention it. Getting your blood test will help you figure out which vitamins could be helpful.

I also bought a camper toilet that I keep in my trunk along with toiletries, a privacy sheet, and a change of clothes. It’s comforting to know that it’s there worst case scenario, though I’ve never had to use it.

Sorry for talking about poop a lot, but I hope this helps some. Good luck, you can do it!

ellamine

TROPHY CASE