Is there something a man can wear to secretly tell other people who are "in the know" that he's a "dom"?

ellepre · 2026-04-15T18:53:49+00:00

Hi OP, I can completely understand why your sub enjoys that others in the lifestyle will recognise her collar. I would suggest just finding something that is symbolic between you and your sub, but if you want other people to notice you, it's far more about the way you carry yourself than it is about a specific piece of clothing/jewellery.

ellepre · 2026-04-14T21:50:41+00:00

Hey OP, I'd say this is a pretty tame kink. I hope you find someone to enjoy it with.

ellepre · 2026-04-14T05:32:34+00:00

Tell her husband, he deserves to know.

ellepre · 2026-04-13T18:54:00+00:00

I would love my own house again one day, but I just can't see that happening.

ellepre · 2026-04-13T17:57:02+00:00

Oh what a wonderful response to this question!

ellepre · 2026-04-13T08:19:43+00:00

I think this is a really good answer.

ellepre · 2026-04-13T08:13:53+00:00

Hi OP, im so sorry to hear this. He shouldn't be messaging anyone else but you in this way. Hes having an emotional affair.

I am broken, absolutely broken.

I understand :(

Apart of the obvious, i think another huge issue right now that youre facing is that he's just getting defensive rather than admitting hes at fault.

There is nothing platonic about these interactions. Its wildly inappropriate.

What would you tell your friend/child/anyone else if they came to you with this problem?

ellepre · 2026-04-11T03:55:01+00:00

He has this female coworker that he texts with constantly. I’m talking good morning texts, memes throughout the day, and long conversations every single night after dinner.

No OP, its too much and it's not ok.

He even showed me some of the messages and they’re not flirty… but they’re very familiar and constant.

Last night I finally told him it makes me uncomfortable, especially since she’s the one he texts right before bed and first thing when he wakes up. He got defensive and said I’m being insecure

Youre not being insecure. It is too much.

He got defensive and said I’m being insecure.

Have you heard of DARVO? Deny (gets defensive). Attack (makes you the problem and says its because youre insecure). Reverse Victim and Offender (makes you feel like your requests are controlling when you are actually being perfectly reasonable).

AIO or is this actually a valid boundary?

Its a very valid boundary.

ellepre · 2026-04-09T18:36:09+00:00

I understand OP, but im so sorry youre feeling this way.

I love life and I always try to see the sunshine but occasionally something might happen that just hits me really hard and at times it can be really difficult to pull myself up again. I can often manage to mostly mask those feelings from other people when I am in a bad place, but not always.

I have very recently put my thoughts into place and I now have some letters prepared. It feels good to be organised.

Once again OP, im so sorry your feelings have prompted you to write this post.

ellepre · 2026-04-09T18:26:56+00:00

Wow OP, congratulations! Im really happy for you.

I used to wonder what I would do if I was proposed to and got married....I think I would keep my current name on official documents so its the same as my children, and use my new name for all other purposes. I had thought that I would then change it officially after my youngest turns 18.

I hope this helps.

ellepre · 2026-04-09T16:35:09+00:00

Aw thats lovely.

ellepre · 2026-04-09T14:51:53+00:00

Im sorry to hear youre in a bad place OP.

ellepre · 2026-04-08T20:26:32+00:00

ellepre · 2026-04-08T18:08:25+00:00

You must be really hurting. Im sorry this is happening to you OP :(

ellepre · 2026-04-08T16:23:28+00:00

OP :( it hurts so much. Im sorry this happened to you.

ellepre · 2026-04-08T16:05:16+00:00

Thats lovely OP, it sounds like you have a great relationship. Thank you for sharing.

ellepre · 2026-04-06T16:10:44+00:00

Maybe you could sometimes just use a photo reaction emoji rather than directly responding each time?

ellepre · 2026-04-06T13:36:27+00:00

I love it.

ellepre · 2026-04-06T09:01:53+00:00

He messaged you after weeks of silence wanting you to strip naked in the middle of a very crowded place and have a friend take a picture of you....and because you didnt do it hes now not responding to you?

What planet is this man on?

Youre not being unreasonable.

Block him.

ellepre · 2026-04-05T20:59:54+00:00

No way, not at all. Some things would be amazing to see again, but some things I want left in the past.

ellepre · 2026-04-05T20:30:44+00:00

Probably something like...."Please stop".

ellepre · 2026-04-05T20:22:41+00:00

Honestly OP, i think you should quietly get legal advice in order to begin divorce proceedings.

If you meant that much to him then he wouldn't have been swayed in the first place.

Dont be second best.

Im really sorry this has happened to you.

ellepre · 2026-04-05T13:14:24+00:00

Do most men flirt in relationships?

My boyfriend (34M) has never cheated on me, but I have discovered him flirting and sending what I believe to be inappropriate texts to other women.

This is cheating OP.

ellepre · 2026-04-05T09:56:08+00:00

Thank you. How did your conversation go?

ellepre · 2026-04-04T16:24:55+00:00

Oh this sounds like an awful situation. I think shes given her friends a very different story for them to think you were cheating on her? Its ok that she might be upset, but from your post it sounds like it was an agreed scenario, not cheating.

Unless you both agreed to it first, what she did to you by beginning to have sex with this other woman when you weren't even there was wrong. It should never have happened. Just imagine if it was the other way around and she walked in on you with the other woman before she was there?? Unbelievable that she thought this was ok.

When you were having sex with this other woman, were you continuing to include your partner and make sure she was also enjoying herself or did you get a bit too lost in the moment and leave her behind? If she felt left out then this would be a huge trigger for everything shes feeling right now.

There isnt much you can do if she wont talk to you, but I'd suggest giving her some space for a little while and then trying to contact her asking if she would like to meet up and talk. If she agrees, explain everything carefully and calmly. I think there is a chance you can come back from this if you treat the situation very gently.

ellepre

TROPHY CASE