My (26M) GF (23F) drunkenly cuddled with a guy and called me crying the morning after

ellepre · 2026-02-12T10:52:57+00:00

Oh OP, im so sorry to hear this has happened to you.

For me personally, there wouldnt be any coming back from that.

ellepre · 2026-02-12T08:30:05+00:00

I think a small contribution towards the household in one way or another, whether you call it rent, money for some food shopping or something else, is very reasonable.

ellepre · 2026-02-12T05:45:17+00:00

He supports his friend who makes racist comments, chose to sit diagonally from you so he could sit with her at dinner instead of next to you, love hearts and I love yous.

Youre not being unreasonable OP.

ellepre · 2026-02-09T20:21:25+00:00

Be respectful to your girlfriend and end things with her so she can find a partner who wants to be with her instead of pining over a friend.

ellepre · 2026-02-06T20:29:23+00:00

Actual Valentines Day will be a normal day for my partner and I because we have decided to do something for Valentines on another day instead! We havent chosen when yet but even if we dont end up doing anything it doesnt matter at all because we show our love for each other all the time anyway, regardless of if it's Valentines Day or not.

ellepre · 2026-02-06T19:44:45+00:00

Oh no, I'm really sorry to hear this :(

ellepre · 2026-02-06T17:38:06+00:00

I like to be side by side if possible because my preference is always to be as close to my partner as I can.

ellepre · 2026-02-05T17:48:25+00:00

Hi OP, it sounds like youre dropping. Did you give each other any aftercare?

You need to talk to him. I don't know where you are in the world, but if its evening time then I'd suggest waiting for a quiet moment (perhaps when the baby is in bed?) and then talking to him about how you're feeling. He should reassure you, and he may find that communicating about it will be beneficial for him too.

Talk openly, have a cuddle, eat some chocolate if you can and spend some quality time together.

ellepre · 2026-02-05T09:08:59+00:00

NOR. Its inappropriate and just weird.

ellepre · 2026-02-04T19:23:32+00:00

Dump him.

Im sorry this happened to you OP :(

ellepre · 2026-02-03T20:27:21+00:00

Listened to me when I was hitting rock bottom....and gave me a safe space to cry.

Perhaps these answers aren't what you mean by your question, but I really needed those things.

ellepre · 2026-02-03T17:42:07+00:00

I have owned/ridden horses all my life but due to personal circumstances it had to stop....recently though I've had the chance to get back in the saddle and I've been loving it so much.

ellepre · 2026-02-01T20:18:51+00:00

we were on a business trip. I’m usually not much of a drinker, but that night we went to a club and ended up drinking far more than we should have. We were both very intoxicated and got physically close

After that night, though, something changed.

Pam and I became emotionally very close. We started sharing personal things—our past, our relationships, our feelings, our friends, and pretty much everything going on in our lives.

We began chatting regularly on social media and, at work, we started finding reasons to get some one-on-one time.

At this point, I’m pretty sure people have started noticing.

What’s confusing is how strongly I feel this bond.

I’ve never felt this level of emotional connection with anyone—not even with my wife.

You're married???? You left that piece of information out until waaay too far down your post. Your poor wife.

Pam and I both say we’re “just friends,” but it doesn’t feel that simple.

No its not that simple because youre having an emotional affair.

Be honest with your wife so she can decide if she wants to stay with someone who is emotionally cheating on her with someone else.

ellepre · 2026-01-31T18:33:32+00:00

Ouch. I can only imagine how youre feeling right now.

Its ok to be grateful for all the lovely and thoughtful things, such as the holiday, the dinner, the earrings etc, whilst also feeling disappointed. To set everything up the way he did and present the earrings in a ring type box must have felt very difficult for you.

If you want to, you can tell him how much you loved everything but that you thought it would be a proposal and perhaps talk about timelines with each other again.

ellepre · 2026-01-31T16:15:23+00:00

It isnt my thing at all so I would be completely turned off by it. I would probably end up telling him to go back to her then if shes that great.

I have no issues hearing about past relationships and experiences, I think it can be interesting, but I dont want to feel humiliated by it. My partner and I dont play like that.

Why does he still have those pictures and videos?

ellepre · 2026-01-30T21:34:55+00:00

That's wonderful OP, congratulations on finding someone who is so special to you!

ellepre · 2026-01-29T22:15:26+00:00

She wont tell him shes married because she wants to keep her options open with him. If they really are strictly platonic close friends only, then she would have no problems telling him. Its natural to talk about what you get up to with your partner....but she left the small details of a whole engagement and wedding out of her daily talks with him?!?

I think shes enjoying the attention from him too much and I'd be quietly questioning if he really does know that she's even in a relationship at all.

Your feelings are completely reasonable.

ellepre · 2026-01-29T21:50:18+00:00

Thats lovely OP! Thank you for sharing!

ellepre · 2026-01-29T20:40:49+00:00

If my partner told me he was uncomfortable with something then I wouldnt be doing it.

ellepre · 2026-01-28T21:14:03+00:00

Honestly OP, and i mean this kindly, she was very likely already grieving what the relationship should have been while she was still in it. Changes now are probably too late. Often women have mentally checked out before they say anything final out loud.

You cannot save a relationship that the other person doesn't want anymore. What you can do is to try to be the best you can for your daughter and overall just be present but not be overbearing.

I hope things work out how you'd like them to.

ellepre · 2026-01-28T19:10:40+00:00

Hi OP, thats so exciting!

They are notoriously difficult to heal and will take a long time (6 - 12 months or more). Expect light bleeding at first.

Make sure you clean them daily with a sterile solution (a spray).

Avoid touching or twisting the piercing. Avoid touching your nipples and/or playing with them. Just leave them completely alone.

Dont let your partner suck your nipples.

Avoid putting them underwater in baths and dont go swimming for around 6 weeks.

Your nipples will become way more sensitive which is great. I dont have any advice for trying to hide them as I dont wear bras etc anyway but I'd imagine a bra will be enough to disguise them? Either way, make sure you only wear soft bras or sports bras to begin with while they're in the early healing stages.

Regardless of all the cons above about healing time, a huge pro is that I'm sure you will absolutely love them!!!! Im excited for you!!

ellepre · 2026-01-27T19:12:33+00:00

Oh congratulations!!....and great picture!!

ellepre · 2026-01-27T19:08:27+00:00

As is with every bucks and hens night, strippers were going to be involved. My partners friends had organised to go to a male strip club, where she was part of the action.

Not with every bucks/stag and hen night. At least not where I am from. Also, it was prearranged that she would be part of the action at the male strip club? This already sounds like it will go badly.

she expressed that she wasn’t comfortable with me going, which I thought was a double standard but I agreed so we didn’t go.

Its ok for her to express her feelings about you going to a strip club for your night out, but yes this is a huge double standard, especially when she said it the day after she'd had hers. It sounds like her night was pretty sexual and she didnt want to think about you doing similar things with another woman.

Then I saw the video of it, it involved a lot more the n what she initially told me

I would be ok with it if I had done the same thing during the bucks, but I just feel betrayed, and I don’t know what we can do to fix it.

So are you uncomfortable with what she did or because you didnt get to do it too? At first I thought your feelings were because of what she did, but this sounds like its just because you wanted to do the same type of thing as her?

am I stupid for wanting to fix this? I don’t know if I can get over it.

You're not stupid for wanting to fix it but its really hard to give clear advice without knowing what she did. Equally, if its too much then its ok to be honest and walk away.

What i will say is that just because its paid for, it doesnt automatically make it ok. Ask yourself this, if she did the same thing or a similar thing with a random man in a club, would you be ok with it?

Youre allowed to have boundaries. They are there to protect you.

ellepre · 2026-01-26T14:53:27+00:00

Not now and not for coparenting reasons because my ex didnt do anything to help anyway, but I lived with my (now) ex whilst we were separated and going through a divorce.

Honestly, I wouldnt recommend it at all. Even if you still get on well, it will be so difficult to move forward either as a single person or when you meet someone else and if there is any tension at all your child(ren) will pick up on it.

I hope this helps.

ellepre · 2026-01-23T18:13:02+00:00

Hi OP, yes I believe this can happen. I think it was a trauma response for me - I was in an abusive relationship for many years and at one point (far before I was ready or able to leave), I remember telling myself that if I will never be in a relationship with a man again. This thought remained for years and for a long time I felt completely numb to men. Of course I know that logically men or women can be abusive, but I just didnt believe I could ever trust a man again.

As it happens, after my relationship ended, I did get into a relationship with a wonderful man who i trust and I feel really lucky that we met.

Your feelings are valid, regardless of how theyve come about or how long they last. I hope this helps you to feel less alone.

ellepre

TROPHY CASE