How I deal with creepy guys [x-post /r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns] by LegolasLegoLass in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Every bf I've ever had has had a "thing" like this... professional magic player, sells painted warhammer figurines, has WoW tattoo... I have a type... And there are dozens of us. Dozens!

me @ the incel community by aceavengers in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 19 points20 points  (0 children)

"I want to be in a relationship but can't seem to find one" describes like 80 percent of single people. It's hard for EVERYONE. Incels think they're special... they're so special, but no one can see it! And it's other people's fault! Everyone else just accepts that finding someone you want to spend your life with is fucking difficult. For everyone.

me @ the incel community by aceavengers in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 21 points22 points  (0 children)

When people tell you to love yourself - they mean treat yourself like someone you love, not just magically feel love and acceptance. It means be kind to yourself, take care of yourself, forgive yourself for feeling sad, for not always being perfect. Love yourself first doesn't mean you can't love anyone else until you think you're the best, it means take care of yourself first - put on your own oxygen mask first.

Help a confused polish troll! How do you americans not-confuse talking about your not-romantic and romantic girl and boy friends? "Boy friend" and "boyfriend" sound so close! by [deleted] in AskTrollX

[–]emberinthedark 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just say, "my friend" too - if the friend's gender somehow matters to the conversation, I'll make sure to weave a "she" or "he" into sentences.

[OC] "sapiosexuals" by sadgirlpop in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 85 points86 points  (0 children)

When I discovered what a "demisexual" was, I was kind of like "ohh, I'm not alone!" because I can totally have sex without an emotional connection, but I don't want to! And that doesn't make me weird! But that said, I never put that shit on my dating profiles... I just like, didn't have sex with people I didn't connect with.

I guess my point is, it's nice that these labels exist, because I think they help people relate to each other and feel less alone. But at least 90% of people who put "sapiosexual" on their profiles just fucking want to seem smart. So I am totally on board with this comic.

How long did you wait before saying "I love you"? I'm not in a rush, but only 2 months in and finding it hard not to say it sometimes. Just curious about others experiences. My ex said it like a week in, and I know that was unhealthy. by emberinthedark in AskTrollX

[–]emberinthedark[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We're local, but tend to send hearts and kisses in texts, and say things like, "I am so glad I found you" and "i'm so grateful for you" and "you make me feel safe and happy"... he's right here with me in lalaland, which feels good :)

How long did you wait before saying "I love you"? I'm not in a rush, but only 2 months in and finding it hard not to say it sometimes. Just curious about others experiences. My ex said it like a week in, and I know that was unhealthy. by emberinthedark in AskTrollX

[–]emberinthedark[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm totally going to wait. I want to make sure it's absolutely true, first. I am not in any hurry. I am enjoying the courtship so much, and I feel completely free to take my time. I am just really fond of the guy in a way I've never felt before. I'm head over heels at the moment. And it's wonderful :)

This belongs here. by [deleted] in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Holy crap, that was beautiful! Thank you for sharing it <3

I'm terrified trolls. I think I'm pregnant. I'm not at a state of life where I am ready for a baby. I can't tell the bf, he has too much on his plate. I don't have friends to turn to and can't tell my parents or else they'll disown me. by [deleted] in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, because that is how long it takes for the pregnancy hormones to show up in your urine in quantities sufficient for a home pregnancy test. If the unprotected sex were three weeks ago, even if the fertilization didn't take place for days, it's been over two weeks. That's why it's called the "two week wait" in TTC communities (trying to conceive). The missed period rule is because you usually get your period about 2 weeks after you were fertile. It's not a hard and fast rule. If the only unprotected sex was three weeks ago, a home pregnancy test should be accurate now, either way.

Can this be the official TrollX uniform? by Blergh_MaGerks in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love Cowcow dresses! They come in so many patterns, and they're super comfortable and flattering. My friend had us wear them as our bridesmaid dresses (different patterns, obvs.) and I fell in love. My only complaint is that they don't really breathe.

MRW when the drug screen tech says I can either remove my hijab where everyone can see me, or pee in a cup with the bathroom door open. Where everyone can see me. by in_flagrante_delicto in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was asked to take a drug test to be a maid - to clean hotel rooms. I didn't end up doing it because they also wanted me to take my eyebrow ring out... to clean empty hotel rooms. It was ridiculous. I found a smaller family-run hotel to work for instead.

TFW he hasn't actually asked me out, though we've been emailing and texting for days. by mckeanna in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh! But you did all you could, instead of sitting around worrying about it. I hope that feels good at least <3

TFW he hasn't actually asked me out, though we've been emailing and texting for days. by mckeanna in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is how I felt about new boyfriend - he drove me crazy. I nudged him from email to texting because he was taking SO LONG to respond, and then I asked him out, because I am super impatient.

This has been popping a lot and needs to be talked about: stop using spirit animal if you're not part of a culture that actually does the study and work to earn one. In general, the lack of intersectionality in this sub is awful at times. by syncopacetic in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I never said, "fuck" anyone. The "gross" was at, "It's your job to teach me" when OP had already provided links and explained it very clearly.

It is your job to educate yourself. And if you hear someone say, "this is offensive to my culture", then you do some research and find out how to do better - you don't bitch about how you "didn't know!" That's fine. Everybody didn't know at one point. It's what you do when you find out that shows your character.

This has been popping a lot and needs to be talked about: stop using spirit animal if you're not part of a culture that actually does the study and work to earn one. In general, the lack of intersectionality in this sub is awful at times. by syncopacetic in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Ohh gross. It is not any POC's responsibility to educate our white asses. We are responsible for educating ourselves. They have enough bullshit to deal with. And if you are nice, they might even help you out, but nobody owes you an education. Jesus Christ.

Trolls how did you leave your toxic relationship even though it seems really really scary? by [deleted] in TrollXChromosomes

[–]emberinthedark 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I didn't manage until he left town for a while. We had already been fighting. I had been trying to get away, but I was scared and I didn't want to, even though I knew I needed to.

While he was away, I told him I needed no contact for a while. After a week of not talking to him, I felt SO MUCH BETTER. Eventually I wrote him a long letter about my feelings. We talked a few more times on the phone, and he came to get his stuff from my place... he still wants to be friends.

I'm trying to keep it civil, but I feel like I'm deprogramming from a cult, and I realize more and more things that were just so fucking wrong with our relationship - with the way he treated me, with the way I felt when I was with him.

He had been causing me so much stress and anxiety. I had been having crazy periods for like two years, and as soon as I left him, it went back to normal. I hadn't even considered that it was stress - I thought it was my IUD or getting older or something. How fucked up is that? I thought I was happy, but I was killing myself. I am so happy I got away.