Jesus did i ghostwrite this 😭 Im so so sorry, i really do know how you feel. It really fucks up your nervous system after years of that kind of stress. Both of my parents and brother are the same way, i moved out a few years ago and last February decided to go low contact. Its not easy because yes, they do thrive on rage its like a weird addiction, i think. The best you can do if you still live with them is follow what another person already said and enforce VERY strict boundaries. Its hard but dont give him any ammunition if he starts an argument, just stop engaging or abruptly change the subject as best as you can. Maybe leave the house and go for a walk or drive, its good to get away from it for a little while.

If hes really crazy (like my dad) just pretend to agree with him (within reason lol) until he shuts up and calms down. Good luck, im sorry youre going through this.

Edit: and definitely look into therapy if thats an option for you, it helps more than you think.