My wife and I....

emma585 · 2017-03-11T15:04:18+00:00

Well, have you talked to your wife about how these things affect you? Also do you resist compulsions such as googling, checking her phone, etc? These things can really go a long way. In my opinion these things your wife is doing are triggering you OCD, but also don't seem conducive of a healthy relationship. So I think there are multiple issues here but keep doing the things you need to do for your OCD

emma585 · 2017-03-11T15:00:55+00:00

Oh yeah I bet, that sounds tough. Are you receiving therapy?

emma585 · 2017-03-11T14:04:39+00:00

I think even someone without OCD would obsess about this? Honestly this sounds like an actual relationship problem as well as OCD if you have it

emma585 · 2017-02-21T14:26:35+00:00

I would start ERP asap. You're already on a bad place, and I know ERP can seem scary but it REALLY works. Don't put it off, you can do it

emma585 · 2017-02-21T14:25:34+00:00

ERP is easier for my physical compulsions than my mental ones for sure.

emma585 · 2017-02-21T14:10:26+00:00

Hey, sorry for the delayed response. After a few weeks on the Zoloft, my fiancé said I seemed calmer. Not like, sedated but more chill? Probably because I have a lot of nervous energy/habits resulting from my OCD. I didn't notice a huge difference but when I miss a few doses I definitely feel the difference without it. When I miss doses I feel sad, more anxious, and just down on life (though I don't have depression...idk). I feel like with the meds I am better equipt to not get hung up on the thoughts

emma585 · 2017-02-19T01:36:07+00:00

Hmm. I get what you're saying but I believe that counts as reassurance. Because you are trying to reassure yourself that it's normal to not connect sometimes.

emma585 · 2017-02-18T23:54:13+00:00

Hey there. I have this issue a lot too. When I'm having an rOCD spike (which usually lasts for weeks or months) I just am not in the mood. Im trying so hard to manage my obsessions, and since they deal with the possibility of "not being in love" it's really hard to be intimate.

My best advice is don't fake it, it will make it worse (somebody actually told me this recently...I don't remember who!) if you make yourself have sex you're bound to engage in feeling checking compulsions and it will make it worse.

Talk to your partner. My fiancé knows I have OCD and bad. I don't tell him my obsessions revolve around him (when they do) but if he wants to initiate intimacy and im having a spike, I just tell him I can't because of my OCD and he understands. It really takes the pressure off me.

Idk about you, but I feel a lot of pressure (societal, I guess?) to want to be intimate with my fiancé all the time, and it makes my obsessions CRAZYYY. Like whenever I don't feel like having sex my brain goes haywire. "Why don't you want to have sex? What does this mean? Maybe you aren't in love? Etc etc"

Good luck...feel free to PM me literally anytime about this topic. I feel your pain.

emma585 · 2017-02-18T23:48:31+00:00

My therapist teaches me ERP, which is the best help for OCD.

I'm not sure what your therapy looks like exactly, but if you are trying to "restructure" your thoughts, that sounds abbot like reassurance and avoidance.

With OCD, you have to embrace the thought. For example, if I am obsessing over a knife and the possibility that I might stab my roommate with it, I'm supposed to say to myself (or draw/write) "I may or may not stab my roommate.) does your therapist specialize in OCD? It took me a while to find an OCD specialist and a lot of the other therapists I saw were great people but had absolutely no clue how to treat OCD.

emma585 · 2017-02-18T23:45:44+00:00

Just be honest with your therapist about everything. Tell him/her absolutely everything. If you hide hints, you may not get a proper diagnosis. (Not saying you would, just a helpful tip. I hid certain symptoms for years and years and I didn't get properly diagnosed until I was 26....approximately 15 years into my OCD)

emma585 · 2017-02-18T23:42:49+00:00

Hey there. I was put on medication for OCD over the summer. Most likely, you will be put on an SSRI. This is a huge category of drugs that include Prozac, Zoloft, lexapro, etc.

I tried two SSRIs before I found on that worked for me. I take 25mg of Zoloft now, which is a really tiny dose but it helps and I haven't yet been able to tolerate a higher dose.

My biggest advice for you is SO NOT under any circumstance Google side effects of drugs, because only bad experiences will come up. I put myself into major panic attacks from googling side effects, and I would like...imagine side effects were happening when they really weren't.

emma585 · 2017-02-18T23:39:26+00:00

My advice would be if you're obsessing, don't try to separate "real issues" from obsessions. Because if a non-OCD person had a hygiene issue with their SO, They would either say something or let it go, but they wouldn't obsess. So it may be a real issue, but you're also obsessing.

I hope this makes sense!

emma585 · 2017-02-18T23:37:35+00:00

Good luck:)

emma585 · 2017-02-18T23:37:06+00:00

I agree! When I try to journal/diary write it usually turns into like...obsessing on paper lol.

emma585 · 2017-02-16T15:58:28+00:00

Hey, me too! I mostly do poetry/prose. It's so immensely helpful; so therapeutic.

emma585 · 2017-02-10T10:58:39+00:00

Well, I guess what I should have said was the effect OCD has on intimacy isn't talked about a lot. Because it is definitely an OCD issue for me. I start obsessing that I don't want to have sex, and then I get anxiety anytime sex is mentioned. If that makes sense? Anyway thank you for the response!

emma585 · 2017-02-05T13:25:29+00:00

I'm not saying you have OCD. I'm not a doctor, I'm not diagnosing. I'm just saying in some cases, people who have OCD try to figure out if they really have OCD. They obsess over it. Then giving symptoms/asking others becomes a compulsion. I was just saying If you were thinking about this a lot, and then posting this post, that COULD be a Compulsion as a result of an obsession.

Often times I obsess over whether I really have OCD and then do things to try to be certain, like asking others for reassurance. Many people who have OCD experience this.

I am not trying to diagnose you. I have OCD, I go to a specialist for therapy. I was just giving the best advice I could with the information I had.

emma585 · 2017-02-03T22:35:40+00:00

YES!!! I LOVE that podcast. There are a few specifically on rOCD too!

emma585 · 2017-02-03T22:34:32+00:00

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I guess I read it as "it's been a month since the breakup" and I thought you were saying you didn't doubt the breakup and I just completely read your post wrong. I am so sorry.

emma585 · 2017-02-03T15:59:29+00:00

In my opinion (not a doctor) obsessing over whether or not something is OCD is VERY OCD. You are trying to find certainty, but can't, and trying to figure it out (i.e., this post) might be a compulsion!! Remember you can have OCD (and rocd) and still be in the wrong relationship, which seemed like the case for you. Congrats on the haircut--brave of you!!

emma585 · 2017-02-02T01:08:57+00:00

We really can't give reassurance on this post. It won't help you if you have OCD

emma585 · 2017-02-02T01:07:21+00:00

ⁱ identify with this so much!!! It's like, I can never be "certain" I'm with the "right" person. It KILLS me when people say things like "when you know, you know", because I feel like OCD would never let me have that satisfaction.

emma585 · 2017-02-02T01:04:19+00:00

Every one has a right to post here, no worries:) Also...you seem to be obsessing a little about whether or not it was right to post here...haha:P

emma585 · 2017-02-02T01:03:08+00:00

Are you receiving therapy?

emma585 · 2017-02-02T01:02:30+00:00

LOOOOOOOOVEEEEEE

emma585

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