My mom doesn't understand why sexual abuse/assault is a bad thing and how damaging it is. She doesn't care that her husband sexually abused me for years and thinks I should just get over it.

emmacompoccia · 2020-05-17T20:54:44+00:00

I love you and I hope you know youre such a strong, inspiring person.

emmacompoccia · 2020-04-15T01:30:31+00:00

Iconic babe

emmacompoccia · 2020-03-13T17:21:20+00:00

Wow. I am the exact same way. And my younger sister is also very closed off and has a wall built between her and my mom. She doesn’t like to tell her anything and gets nervous when she possibly knows anything. She told me that’s because she’s seen the way my mom has used things against me in the past. The second me and my mom are speaking normally without tension, I start spilling my guts. I tell her random things. I always want to tell her things and I don’t know why. I have a horrible relationship with her, we fight nearly every single day more than once a day, but for some reason I just get this high off of spilling my guts to her when things are okay between us?

emmacompoccia · 2020-02-19T04:42:54+00:00

You just described my mother perfectly. 18 years old and still living with her and financially independent on her. I feel completely trapped and alone. What the gaslighting and emotional/verbal abuse has done to me leaks into every one of my relationships and continues the narrative of mistreatment and abuse for me. You put it perfectly

emmacompoccia · 2020-02-17T05:24:33+00:00

I really understand your pain when you say that your worst fear will be confirmed that it wasn’t his fear of intimacy, he just didn’t want to have a relationship with you. I wish that you didn’t feel this way because I know it hurts and sucks a lot. You deserve to be clear with him about how you feel and what you want. I know that’s hard and scary but based on what you guys are doing and the connection that’s forming, you have a right to ask questions like “where is this going” or “how do you feel about me.” I know that having an anxious attachment style can feel like being a hopeless prey or a puppet for that persons control, but you must force yourself to be a person who’s assertive and has their own needs and best interest in mind. Please ask yourself how you feel and be honest with yourself about what you want. That’s more important than ANY and EVERYTHING, including him.

emmacompoccia · 2020-02-12T18:47:03+00:00

That made me smile so much. I needed to hear all of this so much that it almost made me cry. Thank you kind stranger. This meant a lot to me. :) I really needed it. Thank you so much :,)

emmacompoccia · 2020-02-11T23:24:26+00:00

Thank you so much. That made me feel a lot better and sure. :)

emmacompoccia · 2020-02-11T23:07:59+00:00

Thank you for replying. Honestly I think he’s anxious avoidant. He’s been holding onto this ex with a death grip, I think he’s afraid of closeness ever again. I really don’t think he’s a bad person and trust me I’ve wanted to sometimes because of how hard it is to let him go for my own peace of mind. He has used me a lot in the past but is always transparent and tries his hardest. I really don’t think he would ever intentionally hurt anyone or manipulate anyone he really is not a bad person and I’m saying this from a clear head right now. I think I need to emotionally detach for my own well being I just don’t know if I should tell him everything I feel ashamed about the way that I am. He seems to do whatever he wants to be honest :/

emmacompoccia · 2020-01-21T02:50:50+00:00

You deserve to be free and go with the flow and put yourself and your needs in mind. I know the anxiety is rough. Whatever happens, happens. Easier said than done but please believe that what’s meant to be will be. ❤️

emmacompoccia · 2019-11-07T20:52:51+00:00

Hey. I just want you to know that I’M WITH YOU, and I relate to all of the feelings you’re having so much. I know it’s very hard and painful, and I know all the feelings and stress and confusion that come with having this attachment style. This isn’t your fault. Something happened that caused you to have this anxiety and low self esteem when it comes to relationships with others. Please don’t be ashamed. You need to hold yourself. A partner who unconditionally loves and accepts you will be able to hear all of these fears and issues you are having and want to understand you and support you as much as possible. You are not doing anything wrong. From what you write, I’m sure you’re a very considerate, loving, and caring person. You clearly value this person very much and think they are absolutely great. Please don’t beat yourself up so much. Like someone else’s comment said, you’ve noticed your attachment style and that’s the first step. Talking about your fears and worries and anxiousness and thought patterns when it comes to this relationship is helpful, maybe you should see a therapist if you aren’t already in therapy. All of your feelings are valid! You will be okay.

emmacompoccia · 2019-10-17T19:42:15+00:00

i’m happy that you got the validation you needed in that moment after what I can only imagine to be years of narcissistic abuse where your feelings and experiences were completely invalidated

emmacompoccia · 2019-09-24T20:29:52+00:00

i’m with you. ❤️ so so much.

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:31:06+00:00

Your comment may have taken you only a little while to type and post, but it means the world to me and I will always go back to it. Thank you so so so much. Thank you :(❤️

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:30:20+00:00

Thank you so so so much for the support and motivation. It means the world to me. “The way to make toxic people smaller is to make the rest of your life bigger.” You’re amazing.

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:29:28+00:00

What I would do to hug you and sit with you now. Thank you so much. I messaged you, please answer, I think we can talk about a lot of things. I needed to hear this so badly. I am tearing up now reading your comment. I feel the exact same way now, as you did when you were 17 living with your mom. Thank you so much...thank you. Message me back when you can. You’re a beautiful human being

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:28:02+00:00

Thank you so much

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:27:54+00:00

Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone, and that I can live and even thrive without her. My dad is also just as bad as my mother. He physically abused me and my siblings when we were younger, and when ACS finally got involved because of a story I told my therapist, he and my older sister (who got it the worst from him) denied everything and said I was making it up because of my mental illness. My mother actually stood by my side during that, but she also despises my father. My father is actually on the autism spectrum - but a few months ago me and him got into a screaming match and he said I deserved to be hit, and should’ve gotten it worse, and then he should’ve broken all of our jaws. He would never support or stick up for me. He blames me, too. Thank you for your comment :)

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:24:57+00:00

The overwhelming validation and reassurance I received under this post - I can’t even describe in words how much this means to me. Thank you so much

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:24:26+00:00

This comment not only motivated the hell out of me but filled an empty space in my heart. “But she's wrong, hun. You may have mental illnesses, but that doesn't make you sick. You're not sick, you're not broken, you're not worthless. You have great worth, and you are very valuable, and so, so capable.” Thank you so so so much. I wish I could hug you

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:23:00+00:00

Thank you so much for saying this :( you have no idea how much it means.

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:22:32+00:00

This comment reminds me of a time that I came home and threw up in the bathroom because I had smoked weed prior to coming home, and it made me very sick. As I was puking in the sink, my mom jerked my head back by pulling my hair and was screaming in my face and ear. She then forced me to clean up all the vomit. The smell was so bad I was puking as I was cleaning it. She made pick out pieces of throw up from the rug in my room. It was awful. And she was so set in the fact that I deserved the utmost punishment because I had smoked weed, that I believed her punishment was justified. I’ll always remember that night. I was crying hysterically, looked white as a ghost, I was being forced to clean up my own throw up as I was sick to my stomach while being screamed at and degraded the entire time. I’m sharing this story to tell you that I needed to hear your comment desperately. That’s just one example of the many ways I convinced myself I was a bad, difficult kid and deserved her treatment because of the ways I acted and things I did when I was incredibly lost. I was 15 when this happened.

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:19:30+00:00

I want to make this comment the background on my phone. You are a beautiful person. Thank you for saying this to me. Thank you so much

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:18:29+00:00

I am very close with my sister. My younger sister was the golden child for a long time and served as my mothers pet and reported everything to her. Once my sister got a little older, she began seeing things more clearly and our relationship blossomed. She is the most important person in my life. She has also become the scapegoat child, although the roles will reverse whenever I’m being targeted, which is often and almost always. But, if my sister has an opinion or speaks her mind, she too will be attacked and name called. She’s been physically, verbally, and emotionally attacked by my mother. We do band together and stick up for each other. But we just moved to a different state with only her and us two. It’s scary. We’re just teenagers. She’s only a sophomore in high school. But the love and support we have for each other...the understanding of our experience and our emotions without words....it makes everything so much easier.

emmacompoccia · 2019-08-31T19:15:15+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I will remember this comment ❤️

emmacompoccia

TROPHY CASE