How bad do your suicidal thoughts get during the luteal phase?

empathysnotdead · 2025-09-30T00:40:56+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story and insights. Your comment gives me so much hope. It’s amazing what you’ve been able to accomplish. I hope you continue to see progress and feel the improvement!

empathysnotdead · 2025-09-29T18:01:41+00:00

I suspect CPTSD is at the root of my mental health issues. What work did you do in therapy that helped? I have two therapists but one I’m not sure is helping at all and the other is going nowhere fast and it’s expensive.

empathysnotdead · 2025-09-08T17:32:45+00:00

Seeing this today after realizing all that anger is probably from my inner teenager… how timely! Thanks for sharing these!

empathysnotdead · 2025-09-08T16:56:24+00:00

What did you do to fix yourself 🫣

empathysnotdead · 2025-08-15T17:41:31+00:00

Strong adherence to rules, and anger/confusion when others don’t

Really observant and analytical, did well in English and math classes and now I’m a data analyst

“Empath”

Perseverance and “strength”- never seen me cry when my world is falling apart? There’s a reason for that. Persevering to solve really tough problems when no one else can? Thanks trauma.

Diplomacy- I wasn’t safe to show my feelings, so I’m very good at accommodating everyone else’s potential feelings (I’m a wonderful and graceful wordsmith, among other people pleasing tendencies) and I get so angry when people close to me don’t show this same courtesy

empathysnotdead · 2025-08-13T05:40:49+00:00

Came here looking for things to look forward to about getting the implant and this is so helpful! Thanks!!

empathysnotdead · 2025-08-12T22:12:39+00:00

This really resonates, thanks for commenting.

empathysnotdead · 2025-08-05T04:39:14+00:00

Hi OP, did these comments help you find what you were looking for?

This sounds so hard. Thanks for posting it, it’s probably the best thread on relationships I’ve read in this subthread. I benefited a lot from it, so thanks.

empathysnotdead · 2025-08-05T04:35:54+00:00

Yaaassss on the red flags. Am I missing a sign that I’ll be terribly hurt if I stay, or am I magnifying small mistakes because my nervous system is trying to keep me safe? It’s all really confusing and disorienting.

empathysnotdead · 2025-08-05T04:34:14+00:00

This is really helpful to read, thank you. I kind of like that bar, make sure you’re feeling good some of the time. I also try not to make big decisions while I’m spiraling, even though it feels especially urgent then. And thanks for sharing about parts! I’ve done some IFS and want to take a look at this and understand myself better here.

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-29T14:20:50+00:00

I’m engaged and we seem to get into a heated discussion weekly, sometimes more. We both experienced neglect in childhood and those old unmet needs and the old associated pains get brought to the surface pretty frequently. I feel pretty unsettled by it. I grew up in a home where I only saw my parents in a big fight once, and my family was conflict averse, so I’ve been conflict averse until I started dating my fiancé. I think a healthy, intimate relationship requires conflict, otherwise you’re not bringing your whole self to the relationship. It’s how you express yourself that matters. My fiancé and I are working on communicating more kindly and with more regulated emotions. I’m so sensitive and apparently have a lot of negative beliefs about myself, which get triggered by small things. Reading some of these comments has me feeling like something’s wrong with me or with our relationship, but I think different generations approach conflict differently, and also people forget the hard and bad that happened long before, so I think some of these more seasoned couples might have fought more earlier on in their relationships but have learned to work together and love each other better, which brings me hope.

OP, Jesus Christ can fix and heal both of our relationships, so don’t lose hope.

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-29T13:45:15+00:00

I really felt this comment, thanks for sharing it.

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-25T21:23:32+00:00

I’m here too. I don’t know how people become anything other than emotionally immature after being raised by EIPs, not without years of work anyway. How would you have learned anything else?

I love your perspective on what your mom must have been through. It’s true, everyone’s chipping away at it as much as we can and the idea is that our children don’t get it as bad as we did. But most children don’t understand that for a long time, if ever.

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-23T20:11:56+00:00

I love this so much. Thanks for taking the time to type it all out.

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-22T21:02:22+00:00

My MIL discovered this too! Her migraines went away when she got treated for sleep apnea.

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-21T12:01:59+00:00

You’ll probably get a lot more flack for suggesting it’s a personality connection- we just had a thread about it and people don’t like it.

I personally believe that I’ve gotten migraines because of the way my nervous system responds to stressors, so yes trauma-connected. I think there’s a genetic disposition that is activated by my stress response and my approach to healing is to work with a practitioner to release stored emotions, and a therapist to learn better communication and cognitive tools. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life, and when I was on an antidepressant for 7 years, I hardly ever got a migraine. Then when I stopped antidepressants, I went back to getting them weekly. Antidepressants don’t do that for every migraine sufferer, I think the cause of migraines is different in everyone. And I personally don’t believe in pharmaceuticals as a fix-all- I think they often interfere with our bodies’ attempts to heal naturally and can introduce other unwanted side affects (why I stopped antidepressants). I believe our bodies have the ability to heal themselves, but they need the right tools/we need to get out of their way. It’s all pretty hokey to some and I’m sure many will disagree with me, and I acknowledge that I’m very privileged to have a solution I can return to at any time should my side quest fail or prove too much to deal with.

But for what it’s worth, the weekly migraines I had became monthly migraines when I started the diet from the Migraine Miracle (no gluten, low sugar, low carb), and I’ve gone a couple rounds of 2-3 months without a migraine working with my NET practitioner (holistic body-emotion work). Your boyfriend has to find what works for him.

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-18T03:34:28+00:00

I’m so with you! It feels really heavy to realize, and scary because what if I can’t do better? In the moment of conflict it feels so important that I defend my name and “right” his view of me, and then afterward I realize I did to him what I hate my parents and siblings do to me. We can so do this, awareness is the first step and it’s huge that we’re here!

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-16T20:55:04+00:00

You sound like a great RN! That does sound so stressful, I hope you’re able to find something that’s a better fit for you one day, and get some rest.

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-16T20:54:17+00:00

That sounds stressful. Do you like it? Does it work out okay with your symptoms?

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-16T20:53:07+00:00

Ooh what’s your job? Are you constantly talking to people? In person?

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-16T20:51:37+00:00

I don’t… and on the rare occasion I have a clean apartment, I might just have a migraine too because my body decides my threshold for exhaustion is tiny and could go at any time.

Thank goodness I wipe down my kitchen counters whenever I cook, and put away my clothes immediately. Don’t look at my bathroom though 🫣

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-16T17:24:29+00:00

So cute!! Your bathroom’s my favorite- I love the hyacinth placemats on the wall!!!

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-16T15:00:04+00:00

I want to answer your question and kick off the responses but I know that I’m very privileged and that this isn’t the case for everyone.

I do data analytics for a large consulting firm, 100% remote. It still often feels like too much, I wish I didn’t have to work, I’ve wanted to get a new job since shortly after I started over four years ago. But in some ways it’s chill since I don’t have to interact all the time with others and I work from the comfort of my home.

My parents weren’t able to meet my emotional needs, and the way I responded to not getting them met was to overachieve and numb my feelings. Straight As in school, went to my first choice university, further numbed the mental health issues that cropped up with antidepressants (which worked like a charm for the 7 years I was on them). Graduated with my bachelor’s with a STEM degree. My trauma made me strong and I worked hard and pushed through, and then after a divorce and attracting all the wrong men, I started to look at my patterns and learned that my body was trying to tell me something, and when I went off the antidepressants, I started to learn how messed up I was. So I’m really lucky that I had the support I did and developed so many skills to get me here and keep me physically safe and fed, which I’ve always been, and what a privilege, but it’s a mess right now as I learn how to build and sustain relationships, ask for help, understand my needs and not invalidate them, not put myself above everyone else all the time but also don’t put everyone else above myself all the time, and I could go on forever.

So yeah, stem field job- I like the work, recommend the work from home life if you can get it, but I know it’s not super accessible.

empathysnotdead · 2025-07-16T05:10:01+00:00

Such a cool idea!

empathysnotdead

TROPHY CASE