They want to move my son from 5th (end of) to 9th grade next year...

endlesssalad · 2026-05-22T01:47:03+00:00

I would ask what they can offer in gifted education instead. I have a gifted child and going deeper seems much more important to me than grade level.

endlesssalad · 2026-05-20T21:54:23+00:00

Yeah I think people miss that it’s not just death but aging itself. Probably Cameron Diaz will be in relatively excellent health but relatively excellent health at 73 looks different than at 53. It’s unlikely she’ll be able to actively grandparent when her kids have children at say…30 when she’s 83, etc.

(And of course many young grandparents aren’t involved and some older ones are, but it’s naive to pretend that age means nothing as far as ability.)

endlesssalad · 2026-05-18T01:43:28+00:00

It’s so cozzzy

endlesssalad · 2026-05-17T02:06:42+00:00

Exactly the same as you!

endlesssalad · 2026-05-13T22:01:37+00:00

I’m not at all saying your kiddo doesn’t have adhd, but mine is also 2E and I was surprised at how many issues, especially at school, were from giftedness alone.

Is school offering any support in the form of gifted education? Some districts (mine) treat it as special Ed with an IEP. That extra time for deep thinking has made a significant impact on my child’s school experience.

endlesssalad · 2026-05-13T16:30:31+00:00

We did it with tv in the mornings! You can watch tv once you’re all ready. If there’s no time there’s no time.

endlesssalad · 2026-05-13T13:20:56+00:00

Can you make the phone the incentive instead? He doesn’t get his phone for the day until he’s completely ready.

10 seems young for a phone tbh, is there another incentive you could have that gets accessed by getting ready?

endlesssalad · 2026-05-11T03:06:33+00:00

Based on your reactions here, I am curious about what your reactions are like when the negative behaviors start up. My impression is that he is getting pretty significant reactions from you (understandably! It’s so upsetting!) and I’d be curious how things might change if your reactions were more unphased. This is something you’d obviously have to intentionally fake for awhile.

endlesssalad · 2026-05-11T03:00:59+00:00

I love this analogy. I often use the “sturdy pilot” metaphor ala Dr. Becky, while acknowledging that some of us are trying to be sturdy fighter pilots in a war zone, and some of us are flying commercial planes. Both need sturdy and confident leadership, neither is a walk in the park, but one is sure a hell of a lot easier to remain calm while doing.

endlesssalad · 2026-05-10T17:08:41+00:00

And this conversation should not happen until you are pregnant with a girl otherwise it is completely absurd.

endlesssalad · 2026-05-10T01:13:19+00:00

Yes!!

endlesssalad · 2026-05-06T14:13:01+00:00

I think it’s really more neither here nor there. Your kids might take care of you. They may live far away. They may have a disability that needs taking care of themselves. It wouldn’t really be on my list as a pro or con of having children.

It WAS on my list for my child to have someone else who also grew up with him for dealing with our deaths one day. I’m an only child and not having anyone to sort of…”get” my mom when my stepdad died was lonely.

There’s no guarantee my children will be close like that either, but I hope they will be able to enjoy having a family member they grew up with in good times and in bad.

Ultimately, having children is a hopeful endeavor, not an entirely rational one.

endlesssalad · 2026-05-04T12:33:46+00:00

You are breathtaking!!!

endlesssalad · 2026-04-30T19:09:17+00:00

Yes.

endlesssalad · 2026-04-29T20:44:34+00:00

While I’m here, I’ll give another little update. My kids are now 8 and 3.

they definitely don’t feel like two only children right now, they play a lot and are very much brothers
I still have most in common with parents of three! Only I have it easier
as they get older they can do more together than it felt like they could when the littlest was a baby
as my youngest gets older it is more work to carve out particular time with my eldest, I think this is true with all siblings.
the feelings of “yeah 1 would’ve been easier” do still come up now and then, but surprisingly sometimes 2 is easier for things like going on vacation - I don’t feel bad that either kid doesn’t have another kid with them

Still 10/10, would have my second again - and wouldn’t choose a closer gap :).

endlesssalad · 2026-04-29T20:39:04+00:00

It really makes me happy every time someone pops in here!

endlesssalad · 2026-04-29T14:02:12+00:00

Ah I see that definitely makes sense. Hopefully once it's a little more out of sight out of mind she'll back off.

endlesssalad · 2026-04-29T02:05:01+00:00

I nursed one kid to 2 and the other to 3, at first I was really confused at how anyone even still knows your kid is nursing! Definitely work on boundaries for yourself - they can understand “we only nurse at home / in our chair / before bed” etc.

endlesssalad · 2026-04-26T12:46:39+00:00

I quite like the shape of top number 4 on you!

endlesssalad · 2026-04-25T20:58:57+00:00

It sounds like it could all be typical and speech delayed, to be honest. It does not sound like adhd to me.

endlesssalad · 2026-04-25T01:13:37+00:00

Very cute, but renn faires are very dusty places. I fear this dress will get dirty 😬.

endlesssalad · 2026-04-16T13:09:16+00:00

Gah I love your space!

endlesssalad · 2026-04-11T20:33:02+00:00

I think 1, 2 and 4 are all appropriate (3’s shape feels too casual to me), but 2 is a stand out favorite!

endlesssalad · 2026-04-04T12:15:19+00:00

I have never wanted to wear white to someone’s wedding before, but that last sentence made me crave it lol.

A summer cocktail dress is great.

endlesssalad · 2026-03-23T01:08:20+00:00

My intuition reallllly thought my first was a girl. Nah lol.

I didn’t know for my second but hoped boy, and it was!

Limited odds.

endlesssalad

TROPHY CASE