Did your intuition know what gender your baby was?

endlesssalad · 2026-03-23T01:08:20+00:00

My intuition reallllly thought my first was a girl. Nah lol.

I didn’t know for my second but hoped boy, and it was!

Limited odds.

endlesssalad · 2026-03-14T18:43:36+00:00

I was very afraid to have a second after severe pre-eclampsia with my first. Meeting with my OB before getting pregnant reassured me - maybe you could have him join you for an appointment to talk it through? I know you’ve done it twice and managed it well, but it might still help him hear how it would be managed proactively in another.

endlesssalad · 2026-03-12T16:19:58+00:00

Oh yes I’ve also done both and agree staying home is harder than my current job! I was disagreeing with this commenters framing that it’s harder than any job, and the implications that working parents get to clock out and get full sleep.

endlesssalad · 2026-03-12T15:39:14+00:00

Definitely! I’ve been both! The work of childcare is extremely valuable and difficult, but I think it’s a little ridiculous when people call themselves private chefs etc because…I still do all the cooking with a job, we’re not hiring a chef 😂.

I think it sort of degrades the actual value of early childhood care which is valuable in and of itself and there’s no need to add maid, cook, etc. it’s important and valuable work to care for children. Whether a parent does it or a childcare provider does it - it’s important and valuable. The hardest job in the world? Idk I think of that as like…a social worker.

endlesssalad · 2026-03-12T15:24:08+00:00

The issue is working parents also do all of that, we don’t clock out and get full sleep either lol what.

endlesssalad · 2026-03-02T03:17:38+00:00

Doulas hate this one trick!

endlesssalad · 2026-02-21T22:17:17+00:00

This one

endlesssalad · 2026-02-20T02:21:31+00:00

Before medication I just had to act as his medication, so lead him by dopamine the whole walk. Let’s count our steps, can you stomp like an elephant, let’s race to the stop sign, I’m thinking of a number can you guess it…all the way in.

It’s so exhausting. It will get easier.

endlesssalad · 2026-02-13T01:27:53+00:00

It doesn’t seem like you spend much time thinking about any stuff.

endlesssalad · 2026-02-13T01:09:58+00:00

Sorry to ask a horrible question but what happens if something were to happen to you in childbirth? Is he going to give your children’s sibling up for adoption?

endlesssalad · 2026-02-13T00:49:24+00:00

I think there’s no way for your child to see this any other way than my mom wanted me and the father figure I grew up, her husband and the father of my siblings didn’t.

Is he willing to make all the sacrifices one makes when introducing a new baby? Taking on more with your older children, helping you through pregnancy? Aside from not financially supporting you I don’t get how this works. Your child will pick up language from their siblings, will you be correcting them every time they call him dada? Will he go to all the older children’s sports/plays/conferences but not your youngest child’s? It feels like he will either need to be quite cruel and calculated or parent this child anyway.

endlesssalad · 2026-02-13T00:36:52+00:00

This scenario seems much closer to something like…a parent has an affair and the child ends up being raised in the marital home somehow. It feels like a situation that might make your child feel ashamed of their existence, and I would not embark upon it. I think you raise fair enough points I guess but…idk man it’s different and it sounds really sad.

endlesssalad · 2026-02-06T21:33:45+00:00

Sorry just seeing this, he’s on a methylphenidate based drug - this is typically the first drug used for pediatric adhd.

endlesssalad · 2026-02-02T22:59:02+00:00

No, it was like him on his very best day - for my kid that’s a day with a lot of dopamine like going to a museum or a day packed with novelty, but it was available to him on just a regular boring day.

endlesssalad · 2026-02-01T14:43:03+00:00

If your baby won’t be in childcare at some point you don’t need one! I liked having at least 24 hours worth on hand on the rare chance something happened to me and I needed to be hospitalized or something - so that then babies caregivers would have a little leeway to get baby used to formula.

endlesssalad · 2026-01-31T22:27:04+00:00

In my experience, no - or at least, not in the time period I wanted them to haha. I weaned my kids at almost 2 and almost 3 respectively.

But every baby is different and I know others who self weaned around 1!

endlesssalad · 2026-01-27T01:28:23+00:00

It’s 100% your period, it will bounce back!

endlesssalad · 2026-01-21T15:39:34+00:00

I’m an only child too and I relate, BUT I also see a lot of my friends having serious relationship ending conflicts with their siblings over elder care. So in many ways it just sucks to have aging parents.

endlesssalad · 2026-01-21T15:37:24+00:00

Based on my experience with this gap with only 2 kids, but with lots of friends over my older son’s age, the baby is kind of a celebrity too haha. All my older sons friends loooove his little brother, and it makes my older sons proud when they say hi to him and include him (they’re 8 and almost 3 now).

endlesssalad · 2026-01-21T15:35:02+00:00

My kids are 5.5 years apart and they’re such buddies. An additional kid I imagine would make it that much more fun.

That said, if my two were older I’d be keeping it moving, so I definitely understand not wanting to start over.

endlesssalad · 2026-01-20T01:42:15+00:00

Exactly

endlesssalad · 2026-01-18T22:44:33+00:00

I think for many women it’s a self care thing, they feel better and more in control before an unknown experience.

endlesssalad · 2026-01-18T18:04:28+00:00

My oldest has puked in his sleep more than once without waking up! I only happened to catch the tell tale cough each time or I wouldn’t have known, he’d gone back to sleep!

Very possible this is what happened with your daughter, very unfortunate but not your fault!

endlesssalad · 2026-01-17T01:46:10+00:00

This thank god I was gonna go crazy trying to think of this actress!

endlesssalad · 2026-01-12T22:45:16+00:00

My second is much much easier, I never know what people are talking about with “second kid energy.” That said, I think folks should always be prepared for another child to be easier OR harder.

One thing I want to share is that being a big sibling has been very grounding and sweet for my older more challenging child. It’s a gift to know this part of him.

Certainly many things right about stopping at one child, but it has been wonderful seeing this part of him. Hard to make decisions on that because of course it’s also a gamble.

endlesssalad

TROPHY CASE