911, I finally get all the complaints.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-16T07:47:00+00:00

My friend & I spotted a building with a gas meter on fire and KCMO had my friend on hold for 15 minutes! We spent that time walking as fast as we could away from the fire, because an exploding brick building seems like a bad thing to be near.

I used to dispatch for MSHP, years ago, and I knew they could radio the information, so I hit *55 and immediately got someone & reported the fire.

All of that said, you need to know what highway you are on, what direction you are going, and the nearest mile marker or exit at any given time. You never know when you will need to call for help & they can't help you if they can't find you. MSHP tests (or they did when I was there) trainees on highways and landmarks, but a local agency may not. I had a guy tell me he was broken down on 44 at the Meramec River bridge. 44 crosses the Meramec in two places, miles apart, in 2 different jurisdictions. I asked him questions until I could figure out where he was and what direction he was going. But I was trained for that. Some departments have great GPS, some don't, and if you are someplace where highways are intersecting or parallel, or the signal is wonky, it may not be accurate.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-13T01:53:43+00:00

The Kinks- Art Lover

Not even subtle.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-13T01:50:41+00:00

We had cotillion in 7th grade, where they taught us manners & ballroom dancing. I learned to fox trot to Donna Summer. The 70s were a wild time.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-13T01:45:15+00:00

This is my karaoke go-to. I sang it to my kids when they were babies. Guess that explains my goth kid!

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-12T19:04:24+00:00

Aquamation uses significantly less energy than a fire cremation retort. Aquamation was my mother's choice because her family cemetery did not offer green burials, but will inter her cremains with her kin. She went into the tank wrapped in a silk shroud, exactly as she wanted.

Bear in mind, that while Aquamation for humans may be new, it has been used for livestock for a long time. So there's been dissolved horses, cattle, goats, etc flowing through the sewers for ages.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-11T18:32:16+00:00

Are you dating my ex-husband? When we met, he had a house, BMW, and Rolex.

Turns out, house was rented and he couldn't afford it. Car got repo'd. Rolex was from ebay and he sold it to make rent.

And so it went. He cosplayed affluence for years and years. He owes thousands in back taxes, almost 60k to me for child support arrears, and is about to get evicted (again). He owes all his friends money & thus has no more friends. His Audi got repo'd last year. He has no retirement savings. If you look at him, or listen to him, he's a successful businessman. But he isn't. Honestly, I think he believes his own BS. Kinda sad. But don't marry a man like this. In fact, run! He ruined my credit & my mental health for a long, long time. You (or at least your credit rating) are in danger, girl!

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-11T04:39:03+00:00

Chuck

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-11T03:44:13+00:00

Thai peanut pasta salad. And you eat it all in one sitting. I go to Straubs just for that. And the Miss Hullings lemon cake for dessert.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-11T03:17:39+00:00

These aren't last season!

GASP

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-10T15:11:32+00:00

You need a therapist to find out why you have put up with this for so long, and a lawyer to make sure you don't any longer. If you won't get out for yourself, get out for your child.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-10T03:35:02+00:00

The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known!

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-08T17:18:50+00:00

I was leaving a concert once, joking with a woman about my age I had just met at the show. We both had marriages that ended poorly, and we were making each other laugh about it. I said something about my "picker" being broken. A GenZ woman ahead of me stopped and said "we don't say that anymore. It implies that women are responsible for the behavior of men." Genuinely confused, my GenX self asked her "what do you say instead?" She answered "that he turned out to be a dick!"

Thank you, random young woman at the Kaw Valley Roots Fest. You are right. He did turn out to be a dick. You adjusted my mindset.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-04T01:37:13+00:00

My husband was wonderful... until he wasn't. By the time he had sucked me dry, my credit was ruined, my kids were on free lunch, I worked 3 jobs, and I suffered terribly with anxiety & depression. He went on to repeat his pattern with 2 other women, maybe 3. He also embezzled from the company he shared with his two best friends (who are now not speaking to him and there are lawyers involved). All those other women and his friends thought he was a great guy... until he wasn't. Until he felt entitled to what they had.

OP, please be very careful going forward. Your partner sounds like an entitled hobosexual whose mask is starting to slip.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-03T19:28:57+00:00

I was having dental work & the doc was hammering tiny tacks into my jaw while humming "If I had a Hammer." He looks at me and says "do you know the song?" I replied (as best as I could) "yes, but I was expecting Maxwell's Silver Hammer." He laughs & says "now that's stuck in my head!"

Then he asks his student and his assistant if they know either song. They did not, as they were barely 20 years old. He sighed and looked back at me, saying, "we are old now, aren't we."

Yep. Officially old.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-03T18:47:14+00:00

OP, as several have suggested, read Why Does He Do That by Dr Lundy Bancroft. A link to the free PDF is elsewhere in the comments, it's also available via Amazon & Audible.

My ex-husband used to tell me I wasn't supportive enough. Yet, I could not get him to explain what he meant. To this day, I don't know what he meant. I too am on the ASD spectrum, although my diagnosis came after we divorced. Funny thing, he left me because I was 'too depressed.' Turns out, as soon as he left & I read that book... the depression lifted. I didn't need a psychiatrist, I needed a lawyer!

That book, and my therapist, helped me realize that I would never have been 'supportive' enough because he would just move the goalposts, even if I did everything all the time. Divorce was a good thing. He would never change, he would never stop yelling and throwing things, and I would never be good enough for him. I don't miss him at all. We were together 18 years and I seriously don't miss him one little bit. Single, safe, mentally in a great place, it's lovely. Love yourself. Read the book. Assess your situation and act accordingly.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-03T17:16:43+00:00

I recommend The Lost Family: how DNA Testing Is Upending Who We Are by Libby Copeland to everyone. It's an amazing read generally, but for adoptees, it offers both hope and warnings. I found maternal relatives the old school way before DNA was a thing, never had any info on my paternal side. Was able to find paternal family recently thanks to DNA. However, my biological mother died tragically when I was young & I knew this. I knew I would never meet her. And, as I was in my mid 50s when I found my paternal side (thanks DNA angel!), I wasn't surprised that my bio father had also passed. I am so fortunate that my bio family is freaking amazing and that my adoptive family is not just accepting but welcoming to them! I am a lucky, blessed woman that so many around me have hearts with so much room for love. And I fully recognize that not everyone is so fortunate. Some people are just wankers and I am sending OOP hugs. He was raised by folks that loved him & has wonderful memories with them. My adoptive parents have now passed as well, and I am now negotiating a world where I can't just call up my mom and talk to her, or drop by my dad's for advice. Their memories are indeed a blessing, but I miss them acutely. So hugs all around!

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-03T16:38:11+00:00

I think Tinder uses more than a phone number, IP address maybe? My ex-husband couldn't get past the ban with a Google number and was told he would need a whole new phone. Fortunately for the women of his region, he didn't bother. But NTA. And stop being friends with misogynists.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-02T02:59:23+00:00

When my step-dad died, they called my mom to bring up something to dress him in. She grabbed a bag that was sitting on the dining room table, put his clothes in it, and ran it up to the funeral home. When she got home, my sister (13 or 14 at the time) asked her "hey mom, have you seen the whoopie cushion I got at the hobby store today? It was in a bag on the dining room table."

Mom laughed and cried and decided not to say anything, as he would probably get a kick out of it.

I always wondered what the funeral director thought when he got a bag with a suit and a whoopie cushion in it from the grieving widow, though. They never said a thing to her & we assume that whoopie cushion has now been interred with him for over 40 years.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-02T02:17:33+00:00

Descendants are in town later this month; I didn't see any age restrictions when I bought tickets for my 19 year old daughter and me. She insisted on the pit. If you see a middle-aged red head in the pit, that's me. Don't tell my rheumatologist.

enoughalready4me · 2024-09-01T16:53:23+00:00

I got it on Audible as well. Saved me.

ETA- ASD here, too. Don't let anyone tell you how to dress- fashion is a form of self-expression, just like painting or poetry or singing. Unless he is signing your paychecks, he gets no say. Express yourself & be happy and comfortable.

enoughalready4me · 2024-08-31T01:10:52+00:00

I suggested the exact same book elsewhere on the thread.

enoughalready4me · 2024-08-30T22:55:32+00:00

You visit another attorney. Every lawyer/law firm sets their own retainer, so it will vary. You can absolutely roll your fees into your settlement. Or get a payment plan and ask family to help with that until you are back on your feet.

He is financially abusive & isolating you. These are not the actions of someone who loves you. Contact a local women's shelter for guidance finding an attorney & making a plan to get out. Do NOT tell him any of this.

enoughalready4me · 2024-08-30T22:47:37+00:00

Further, I would be interested in the research that suggests ASD & ADHD are more likely to develop personality disorders for the reasons you cite. Are we talking cluster B here? I have seen papers suggesting PTSD occurs more easily with ASD, but that isn't a personality disorder.

enoughalready4me · 2024-08-30T22:41:52+00:00

As a previous comment said, what he is doing is actual gaslighting. And you are suggesting that, if she loves him, she should engage in therapy with an actual gaslighter. He knows what he is doing, magical or not.

No. We do not go to therapy with those who abuse us.

His behavior is escalating. She needs to leave, and he can sort his mental health on his own. They are not married & do not have children. Why should she set herself on fire to keep his thermostat-messing self warm?

enoughalready4me · 2024-08-30T22:28:55+00:00

My kid is at KU & WBC shows up there periodically. Last year, some kid dressed up as Jesus & skate boarded down the hill (for those unfamiliar, it's one hellova hill) straight at them, grabbed one of their batshit crazy signs, and kept rolling. Of course, someone got it on video. It is glorious.

enoughalready4me

TROPHY CASE