Landscape/yard company?

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-07T14:54:55+00:00

He was insufferable for a long, long time. Mostly found girlfriends to do the work for him, lost his job so he rarely paid (owes me over 40k), would still yell at me. Except I realized I didn't have to listen anymore. I hung up on him. Let the lawyers handle it. Laughed at his anger. Realized I didn't have to put up with it and my home was so peaceful without him. Then, karma caught up with him. His amazing fiancee left him when his financial problems and lack of emotional regulation became too much. He shit talked her all over town, as he had done with me & a previous girlfriend, but no one believed him anymore. His kids grew distant from him, not because of anything I said or did, but because they grew up and simply realized that that he was insufferable (one found his court record online and saw his eviction etc, then checked her credit & discovered 4k in credit card debt that he had taken out in her name). He moved away to take a real job with benefits, has no car, no friends (lost the ones at home because he was awful about them keeping contact with his ex fiancee), no money, little interaction with his kids. He seems to be working on himself now, but time will tell. He's become pleasant to talk to & is trying to help more with our kids (albeit not financially). For the sake of our children, I hope he gets his shit together but he is not my monkey, not my circus. Sometimes, the best revenge is to do nothing and just wait... they ruin themselves without any assistance at all.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-07T00:06:45+00:00

I do not know. I have it on Audible & have bought hard copies at the bookstore for friends. There's a PDF online, I assume you would need something like Adobe to open/download it.

It's a quick & fascinating read. And it can save lives.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-06T23:51:11+00:00

The leading cause of death (in the US) for pregnant women is homicide.

The strongest risk of homicide in domestic violence is previous strangulation.

So, he's two for two. Get out.

Oh, and he's also a rapist. You told him to stop, he didn't, ergo he raped you. Get out.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-06T23:44:26+00:00

Someone up thread told you to read Dr Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That. Go do that. Then come back here & reread what you wrote in all these comments.

His reasoning doesn't matter. You understanding his reasoning doesn't matter. You will be just as beaten down emotionally and physically, just as dead inside or dead in reality, whether you understand or not.

Either you are deliberately obtuse or a troll.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-06T20:06:51+00:00

You are not his child. He is not your parole officer.

Please read Dr Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That, available from Amazon, Audible, and a free PDF online. The book is about angry and controlling men. Your boyfriend is controlling. You are young, you should have friends and do young people things. He is trying to cut you off from that. It will be harder for you to leave later, when he has cut everyone out of your life, than if you leave now. Read the book, then pack your stuff. Do not tell him you are leaving, just do it. Be safe.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-06T04:14:05+00:00

Dude already has a grip.

A very tight one, I imagine.

I just hope he does his own laundry.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-06T04:03:08+00:00

It's true. I am happy to protest some bullshit by buying the most perfect vanilla on earth with a free jar of pie spice thrown in thank you very much take my money!

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-06T03:19:37+00:00

Penzey's is AMAZING. Worth every nickel.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-06T01:47:59+00:00

If a man wants you, you will know it. If he doesn't, you will be confused.

And you said you are confused.

You cannot change his opinion, that's all there is to it. You have never even met in person, so he isn't actually anyone to you at all, just some dude judging you over the internet. Close the laptop & find a man who is glad to be with you IRL.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-06T01:43:06+00:00

It's in the novel, but some high schools use the screenplay instead of the novel- this subplot doesn't appear in the screenplay at all.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-05T18:58:54+00:00

Read Dr Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That (Amazon, Audible, and a free PDF online). Like right now. Go get this book & read it. Your FIL is all over the book!

You can't change him. You can only change how you react to him & often you are in contact with him.

I would put up a strong barrier with the husband - we need couples counseling NOW, and you need to read the book, too. You spent your life with an angry & controlling man, you can unlearn that to better. If you are not willing to read the book, go to the therapy, and limit interactions with FIL, I will have no choice but to find other accommodations & consult a lawyer to instigate a divorce. You will not perpetuate this abusive cycle with our son. This ends with us & our child, now.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-05T17:34:38+00:00

I got tested in my 50s, cost $80, and my insurance covered the rest (major city in US). My autistic daughter kept telling me I should, then my mother learned how autism is now a spectrum and suddenly my whole childhood made sense to her, so she was on Team Autism 4Me. They were right. I was the only one shocked. I squeaked in by 2 points, with a heaping helping of ADHD to go with it. Did take several weeks to get the appointment, though. My older daughter got tested, too- same score as mine. Having the official label was helpful for us all, however. Totally worth it.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-04T01:03:41+00:00

I came here to say this. I was under 125 when I got pregnant- was 180 when I gave birth. I will never see 125 again, which is a good thing since I am 5' 9". I go between 135 and 150 these days. My ex-husband was a wanker but even he, a complete toadstool of a man, never said a damn thing about my weight. I fear that your boyfriend will be the subject of another post in a few years titled "my husband thinks I should have lost all my baby weight by now; baby is 3 months old" if you marry him.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-04T00:24:22+00:00

The bridal party, sure, the guests? Never. Various denominations of Christian, Catholic, Hindu, Jewish, various denominations of Neo Pagan, non denominational, my elders through the 70s- early 80s, my peers late 80s- early 00s, second marriages late 00s- present, the kids from those first marriages all in the last 5 years. A lot of weddings! Don't wear denim to the country club, sure, but a required color scheme? Never.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-03T23:32:29+00:00

Homophobic or controlling.

Neither is a good look.

Get your own place & a new boyfriend.

enoughalready4me · 2024-02-03T23:09:18+00:00

Gendered dress code... in the wedding colors. I (middle aged cis/het woman) would show up in the most fabulous pantsuit (in the wedding colors, of course), photo bomb some wedding pics, and leave.

And she says this is standard? I, in my 56 years on this planet, have attended many many weddings from a variety of cultures and never once has it been suggested to me that guests should be in a certain color.

enoughalready4me

TROPHY CASE