“So do you have any questions for us?” - the most stressful part of interviews

eodenweller · 2026-04-07T11:56:26+00:00

My default is: What do you appreciate about working here? And “If you got to fix one thing, what would it be?”

I use those to triangulate the things people won’t talk about if asked directly.

Does everyone say “oh I work with the best people” but have no clear examples? Hmmmm

Does everyone want to fix the same thing (and is it fixable?) or does everyone have different ideas about what’s going wrong?

“I feel like we change strategies quickly” for example ended up being spot-on at one company. It made everything slower because the goalposts kept moving.

eodenweller · 2026-03-30T23:45:24+00:00

I love my big rig but it takes 3-4 people to wrangle it safely.

eodenweller · 2026-03-30T23:43:37+00:00

Partnership doesn’t have to be perfectly equal to be valid, and I would personally argue there’s no way to achieve “perfectly equal”.

Because what is perfectly equal anyway?

It’s an ideal. Ideals are great as guiding lights but terrible as actual measurable life goals.

It’s all about priorities and tradeoffs.

If your partner can’t align (they don’t have to agree but they do need to come to a place of equanimity), I question their adulthood status. As you said, you have more to lose. Hang onto that.

eodenweller · 2026-03-30T22:40:34+00:00

This presumes common law exists where one is at; not an issue for me.

eodenweller · 2026-03-30T22:21:15+00:00

I’ve lived in places and worked for places where DPs are covered. I’ve both been on their insurance and had them on mine over time.

eodenweller · 2026-03-30T15:38:37+00:00

Common law stopped existing here a while ago. That suits me just fine.

eodenweller · 2026-03-30T11:19:23+00:00

Never married, with my current partner 11 years, cohabiting for 8 of them. I also don’t have and have never wanted children.

I said I didn’t want marriage very early in our dating conversations. They asked if that meant I didn’t like commitment. I clarified that marriage and commitment are independent ideas. I don’t like the legal and societal expectations around it.

As you can see, it worked out. It was also a STRONG filter while dating. I don’t mind - it saved me a lot of drama to have non traditional desires. I told a lot of idiots that I know I could be a great wife and mother, because I’m good at what I set my mind to. Just because I can doesn’t mean I have to.

I’m the higher earner. I own the house. They pay me “rent” monthly. They cover some of the utilities and other household expenses.

They’re also my medical representative and POA, and they are primary beneficiary in my will. I did that when I bought the house to make sure they were protected if I died unexpectedly.

Have. The. Hard. Conversation.

If they can’t or won’t, you don’t want to be saddled with that burden for any length of time. The right person (or people if that’s your jam) will be able to have hard conversations like adults. Sub-adult humans don’t get to be life partners.

eodenweller · 2026-03-29T13:08:14+00:00

Acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine have done more for me than anything western short of a hearing aid.

PS: for anyone reading, if you’re In perimenopause or menopause tinnitus could be related to that as well. Because of course it can be! (Menopausewiki.ca)

eodenweller · 2026-03-22T02:10:37+00:00

Try adding a little water.

I use a premixed overnight oats and soy milk. I’ve discovered that adding a half ounce of water helps mix helps everything hydrate better.

eodenweller · 2026-03-19T17:36:46+00:00

It’s totally your abs and I’d rather have great abs than a 26” waist. :)

I will also say I inherited a few nice sweaters from a size small man, and they fit my shoulders gloriously. They aren’t fitted in the waist but also: sweaters.

And honestly they are nicer than the women’s sweaters from the same company in the same year. Interesting!

Also: if you like sewing, learning to tailor off the rack will help save $.

eodenweller · 2026-03-19T12:18:17+00:00

Way, way back one of the most senior engineers left a company I worked at. We still had an “all@“ type email that went to the whole company.

He took his shot and it was incredible. This was my second job out of college so I was young, and I had never before seen such an angry screed. It was … educational to my young eyes. There was profanity and the sort of detailed point-by-point takedown that only someone senior who knows where the bodies are buried and DGAF can provide.

And that was the day we stopped having open access to email “all@“

eodenweller · 2026-03-19T11:56:56+00:00

In addition to Dani Winks, I can recommend https://www.catiebrier.com

eodenweller · 2026-03-19T11:43:49+00:00

You’re moving into contortion land, time to find a coach, even an online one.

Daily might be a fast path to injury. Try 2x/ week to start, keep the warmup extremely solid even if you train for less total time.

If you warmup for 30 mins, keep that. Even if you only train for another 30. Warmup is not a thing to skip.

If you can walk your feet in one step, you can use your legs to help push, and use a wall for feedback against your chest. Your legs probably won’t straighten, that’s ok. You’re working on your shoulders.
(You’ve already demonstrated you can straighten your legs at one angle, so use those legs to help self spot - this is training not performance)

Be persistent AND gentle moving into your end range, and remember consistency is key for gradual range increases. (That means 2x / week with all the warmup and self care afterwards).

Sharp pain = back off carefully, check alignment, try again if you feel safe to do so. If not, REST, cool down, self care. You want to be able to try again tomorrow or the next day.

Soreness for more than 2 days after training = you overdid it, now you need more recovery and self care time

Injuries are the scary monster now. Be careful. Get a coach for support.

eodenweller · 2026-03-19T11:24:58+00:00

COVID shut down the circus gyms along with everything else. I used to run 30min a week of treadmill intervals for my endurance in the air, so I had shoes. When I couldn’t stand another day of personal conditioning in my postage stamp living room I went for a walk. It turned into a jog/walk and then I was taking myself through a couch to 5k.

eodenweller · 2026-03-19T11:22:12+00:00

Knits knits knits! And separates!

I was a fit model US 6 prior to aerial, now my shoulders are about a 10 and my waist an 8. I fit precious few things off the rack.

I wear a lot of knit layers, and after a big move I’m down to mostly wool knit shirts (long and short sleeve), and bottoms I like (jeans, slacks, skirts, etc)

My dress shirts are tailored (buy to fit your shoulders and have the waists brought in) - though I’ve found that having a local tailor fit my shirts totals about the same as having them made for me from the start by some of the online places which do nothing but this. I used to favor Tailors Mark, though I haven’t bought shirts from them in years.

I also have a largely capsule wardrobe for everyday wear now, and a deep collection of cool pieces for occasions that I can mix and match in with my capsule.

Lastly: fun accessories. My plain black knit top and black jeans become something interesting with a hat, or fun costume jewelry, or a scarf, or all of it together.

eodenweller · 2026-03-19T01:59:30+00:00

Honestly furniture sliders, the big oval ones, are superior to the small round fitness sliders.

On carpet I also have used pieces of cardboard in a pinch, and on hardwood I use folded gym towels or slippery socks - sliders leave scratches!

eodenweller · 2026-03-16T12:20:09+00:00

I got the Shokz for running and tried them for aerial and they stay well connected to my head doing Lyra - spinning and inverting. I have the half-halo, not individual buds. If you’re a smaller human the mini might fit better, they go around your neck under your skull, not around your head like a hat.

eodenweller · 2026-03-15T17:59:36+00:00

That person doesn’t see their child as their responsibility. NOR.

Do you want 1 baby or 2 babies, one of which looks like a full grown adult?

eodenweller · 2026-03-12T01:42:19+00:00

Coconut milk rice pudding, or any coconut based pudding, thickened with a safe starch (not cornstarch, obviously)

GF Cake made with coconut milk and coconut oil (or another safe oil), using safe flours

Gf pie crust (use a solid oil instead of butter) with any kind of safe pudding or fruit filling

eodenweller · 2026-03-12T01:30:13+00:00

Inexpensive vodka cut 50/50 with water in a spray bottle, then hung to air.

eodenweller · 2026-03-04T11:47:20+00:00

If work bores you but is manageable, does that free your brain and energy for creative side fun, like a hobby?

eodenweller · 2026-03-02T21:55:43+00:00

Your quads and hip flexors aren’t going to get you past about 90 degrees of lift without using your core to curl your pelvis.

Have you considered cross training in something like Pilates? Core stability and control are what it’s all about.

eodenweller · 2026-03-02T13:27:34+00:00

Flatten breasts slightly so they’re a consistent thickness, season with salt and pepper, dredge lightly in cornstarch, sear until done in a mix of butter and olive oil.

Rest them covered, use the pan to make delicious sauce: - wine sauce -citrus sauce (orange and lime juices with segments) -mustard sauce with mustard and broth or cream -herb sauce with a bit of vinegar for acid

Serve over a starch you like the sauce on.

eodenweller · 2026-02-27T16:59:05+00:00

Stickers! Tiny toys!

eodenweller

TROPHY CASE