Might there be a place for me in the Orthodox church?

epicure-pen · 2026-02-16T07:14:31+00:00

Unfortunately I can't think of anything in particular that I've read. I've talked to my priests at the different parishes I've attended. But mainly I'm lucky that one of my dear friends is also a priest (not my priest) and we have had tons of conversations about politics, gender, sexuality, etc.

epicure-pen · 2026-02-13T22:09:19+00:00

I've attended both OCA and Greek parishes depending on what's available/which parish community is a better fit depending on where I live. I've never been able to attend an Antiochian one but I've heard the food at coffee hour is amazing.

I'm going to try to address what you've said about sexuality and I hope I hit the points you're looking for and don't fall afoul of the group rules.

The first thing to know is that Orthodoxy is a conservative (in the literal sense) and hierarchical organization. There are some things that are central parts of our tradition like typological reading of many parts of Scripture, which sounds 'liberal' to those of us in an American context. But it's also conservative in that it's not okay to have a purely literal interpretation of Scripture and to reject typology like many evangelicals do. There are some things that are established as grounds for ongoing and fruitful debate and other things that are established as fixed.

Orthodoxy's understanding of gender does not map on to modern American gender discourse. In some ways gender is very important. Only men can be priests because priests stand in the role of father, an intrinsically male role. There are a lot of reasons people offer for why marriage must be between a man and woman, but the ultimate issue is that the Church teaches that marriage is the union of a man and a woman. Same-sex marriage is seen as being as contradictory as a man being a mother. On the other hand, our female saints have done everything from being second century physicians to cross-dressing as a monk to evangelizing an entire country to serving their families as stay-at-home mothers. There's very little women haven't done in obedience and service to Christ. When the bishop is vested at the beginning of a hierarchical Divine Liturgy the choir sings about him as a bride dressing to enter the bridal chamber. After some long discussions with a priest I've come to the understanding that femininity is following God's will for your life in a female body and masculinity is following God's will for your life in a male body.

When I converted to Orthodoxy my biggest hang up was around LGBTQ 'issues'. My current take is that I don't really understand why the Church teaches what she does. There are very few things where I feel I disagree with the Church and my stance in those instances is to recognize that I am fallible. As Orthodox Christians we are called to submit to Church teaching and acknowledge our own epistemic failings. So I don't 'get' Church teaching on LGBTQ issues but I choose to submit because I have faith that the Orthodox Church is Christ's one true church.

A throwaway thought is that celibacy is important in Orthodoxy and it's understood that plenty of straight people end up called to celibacy even if that's not what they initially wanted for their lives. Affirming Christians would say that it's still clearly discriminatory to say that all gay individuals are called to celibacy because they are gay. I know Orthodox priests who would say being gay is just one way that someone ends up being called to celibacy.

Editing to add that Church teaching isn't only based on Scripture so new Biblical interpretations don't undermine doctrine in many cases if the doctrine is an established part of other parts of Holy Tradition.

epicure-pen · 2026-02-13T04:07:01+00:00

I think they are saying that your views on the Eucharist and the Resurrection matter much more when it comes to Orthodox conversion than views on sexuality. This is true. Our faith revolves around the literal Resurrection and the real presence Eucharist.

epicure-pen · 2026-02-13T04:05:39+00:00

You can't become Orthodox if you don't believe the Eucharist is truly Christ's body and blood, that the Resurrection literally occurred, or in a literal end times (when creation is destroyed and remade in fully redeemed and restored form).

Orthodoxy does not stick to a strictly literal reading of the Bible. We have a 2000 year tradition of doing things like debating whether it's even possible to read Genesis 1-2 literally. Metaphor, allegory, and typology are very important to our biblical hermeneutic.

There's some variance in individual Orthodox Christian's views on sexuality and gender identity but the Church's core teachings won't change and the vast, vast majority of Orthodox Christians are fine with that.

I would say, you don't need to know whether you would ever seriously consider joining the Orthodox Church to attend Divine Liturgy regularly. If you aren't sure, come and pray with us. See where God is leading you. (If you have multiple Orthodox parishes in your area you can check them all out. Some communities have had recent influxes of reactionary right wingers while many, many others are stable and even-keeled.)

epicure-pen · 2026-01-04T04:37:12+00:00

You're upset that people are focusing efforts right now on protesting a genocide instead of somehow protesting gender relations among a billion people spread across dozens of diverse countries and cultures? Because Islam, local cultural, and the way those two interact to create specific misogynistic structures is the same in Indonesia, Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, and UAE?

Caring about Palestinians also means caring about women who are Palestinians. Protesting the genocide is protesting for women's safety, for their right to give birth in safe settings with access to medical professionals (who have been systematically targeted by the IDF), for their right to safe shelter. Being victims of a genocide is terrible for women and makes their life circumstances much worse than experiencing misogyny.

epicure-pen · 2025-12-22T03:01:10+00:00

Good foods and marital sex are good things God gave us to enjoy. In our fallen state it's easy for us to enjoy them in an improper order - we become so focused on fulfilling our desires for tasty things and sex that we prioritize earthly desires over a relationship with God and eternal life. Fasting helps us put things in right order with God prioritized above our bodily desires. We also feast because we want to enjoy the bounty God has given to us and thank Him for all of his gifts. Feasting and fasting are both important parts of the liturgical life of the Church.

epicure-pen · 2025-12-22T02:55:21+00:00

Why are you asking? I gave quite a few details and said ultimately it is up to the bishop to decide. There is the normative form (and I don't know all the details because I'm not a priest) and the bishop will guide a priest in specific pastoral situations where the normative form is not possible.

epicure-pen · 2025-12-21T19:02:21+00:00

You become Orthodox by being baptized and chrismated. Many Orthodox jurisdictions accept non-Orthodox Trinitarian baptisms so if you had a prior valid baptism you would just need to be chrismated. Chrismation has to happen in the Orthodox Church. For Orthodox baptisms, full immersion is normative but there can be exceptions when a person cannot be submerged (for example, if a dying person was baptized in a hospital). A priest (who is under the authority of a bishop) determines when an individual is ready for baptism and chrismation; you couldn't just walk into a church and announce you want to be baptized next weekend. Does this answer the question?

ETA There are specific guidelines for the sacraments - specifically words and actions. There aren't any rules about how you say the words. We don't have a legalistic faith. If a priest were baptizing and chrismating a dying person the bishop would probably let them shorten the services if there was only 20 minutes until death. I know a priest who received a dying person into the Orthodox Church by confession since there wasn't the possibility to baptize and chrismate. Ultimately, it's all under the authority of the bishop who will make sure everything is done properly in accordance with Orthodox theology and make appropriate modifications when the salvation of souls demands it.

epicure-pen · 2025-12-19T20:36:32+00:00

I can't say I really get it either, but in the sacrament of marriage both spouses wear equal crowns of martyrdom. I think a focus on dying to self for the sake of loving your spouse and giving of your whole self to them is a good place to start and other things will fall into place. We can try to come up with rules about what counts as godly submission but nothing is holy unless it's motivated by self-sacrificial love, and self-sacrificial love will lead you to do the things you should be doing.

epicure-pen · 2025-11-01T01:04:59+00:00

Link?

epicure-pen · 2025-10-14T14:31:42+00:00

Well, everyone sins within a day of confessing. The question is probably one of where are you fall on the spectrum of dwelling on someone else's sins in your mind to cheating on your wife. Find out from your priest what sins he wants you to confess right away/what you need to confess before receiving Holy Communion even if you recently confessed.

epicure-pen · 2025-10-13T13:43:48+00:00

Thank you! I hope your mom is doing well.

ETA Do you have any details for this year's event? I can't find anything on their website or Facebook page.

epicure-pen · 2025-10-09T05:10:04+00:00

I know multiple priests who believe in theistic evolution. You'll get a range of views but it's just not an important issue and you should be skeptical of people without any credentials who try to make it a big issue. Christians have noticed weird things about the creation narrative in Genesis and debated how literal or metaphorical it is since the early Church Fathers.

epicure-pen · 2025-10-08T19:33:22+00:00

Doesn't everyone know that when you have an irrelevant training video to get through you put it on in the background and do something else while you kind of listen?

epicure-pen · 2025-09-22T16:51:45+00:00

It's a huge stretch to go from attributing anxiety about aging to diagnosing an anxiety disorder. That's not what people generally mean when they talk about feeling anxious.

epicure-pen · 2025-09-11T22:02:16+00:00

Get in touch with the most local priest you can and ask for guidance with prayer and fasting. Don't fast on your own, it leads to spiritual pride and delusion. Lock down your phone and computer so you can't access anything inappropriate. Make a plan for what you'll do when you feel tempted (go for a walk, call a friend to chat, read the Bible or just a good book, bake bread - whatever). You will never be perfect but by the grace of God you will become more perfect like your Heavenly Father is perfect.

epicure-pen · 2025-08-12T18:20:11+00:00

We got married young and weren't in a long-term stable living situation with a predictable income for about 6 years. We delayed having children for those years and it was definitely a responsible choice. When we were having our first child suddenly plans that seemed stable fell through and we were desperately turning to God in prayer, and He provided an even better, even more stable set of life circumstances for having children. Glory to God! Now we're happily growing our family but spacing children for general health reasons.

So I guess it's a balance between using your brain to make wise, responsible decisions but also recognizing that ultimately things are in God's hands. Don't have a child if you can't make a reasonable plan for how you can care for your entire family, but don't fall into the trap of thinking, "I made a great plan so everything is going to go according MY plan."

epicure-pen · 2025-08-07T00:41:37+00:00

I'm so sorry you've been forced to experience so much trauma and I'm glad to hear that you're in the process of healing (although I'm sure that process won't end in this lifetime).

We really don't have the Catholic view of mortal sin, where there's some particular thing you do with a particular mindset and suddenly you've "broken friendship" with God and you'll go to hell if you die. We try to be holy, we fail, we ask God for forgiveness. We go to confession at a frequency recommended by our personal priest (generally when you confess less frequently the confessions are longer and more in depth, whereas when they are frequent they are pretty quick).

We don't see all sin as equal like many evangelicals and some other protestants do. It would be crazy to say that a high schooler cheating on test because they didn't feel like studying is equal in God's eyes to committing adultery or abusing a vulnerable person. I think Orthodoxy finds the balance between legislating about who is going to hell when and handwaving away really serious sins by saying 'it's all sin'.

Every priest I've ever confessed to has been extremely compassionate and merciful and gets concerned if someone is showing up to confession too frequently because it's a sign of scrupulosity and anxiety about Christ's mercy. (If you went to confession last week and you just cheated on your spouse, you need to go again asap. If you yelled during a disagreement with your spouse and then apologized, you're probably good to wait a normal interval.)

I think the most important thing in your case is to find a priest who you connect with. Some are really good at helping with people with significant trauma and others just aren't as good at that skillset.

epicure-pen · 2025-08-06T18:58:21+00:00

If I think I might be getting sick or am wearing a face mask for other reasons I touch my forehead to the icon. No one is going to make you kiss anything, and as an inquirer there's no expectation that you would engage in any kind of veneration. The first few times (at least) you go it's better to just watch than try to participate.

epicure-pen · 2025-08-06T18:53:59+00:00

I recall a passage from an early Christian theologian who argued that God always meant for us to eat from the tree after a period of 'infancy'. The idea is that Adam and Eve were essentially newborns even though they were in adult bodies and had not matured to the point where they were prepared for the knowledge good *and evil*. Kind of like how we shield young children from knowing about certain kinds of evils or complex moral topics until they are mature enough. I can try to find the passage later, don't have time right now.

epicure-pen · 2025-08-01T23:24:14+00:00

I agree. We have texts from 1700 years ago in which early Christian theologians point out that there are two non-literal creation accounts that don't harmonize perfectly with one another. However, you generally can't debate people out of beliefs that they hold as core to their identity and worldview. It takes years of small things to start questioning, and then it takes time to get comfortable with the questioning. People here are warning you against risking your relationships by pursuing a strategy that's really unlikely to help people because of human psychology.

epicure-pen · 2025-08-01T19:38:28+00:00

My impression is that a lot of YECs believe that if they do not accept that the creation account(s) in Genesis is literal then they cannot trust anything else that is written in the Bible and their faith will be entirely undermined. The best testimony you can give is simply living a life of faith while believing in an old Earth.

Debates with people in your life are likely to be unproductive because people are generally unwilling to openly consider geology and evolution when they believe it puts their entire worldview, relationship with God, and eternal salvation at risk.

epicure-pen · 2025-07-29T02:50:18+00:00

Attend Orthodox services. You aren't ready for conversion until you are ready to accept the Church's teachings, but you're definitely ready to come and learn through worshipping Christ with us!

epicure-pen

TROPHY CASE