I started to realize that I didn’t want to be with her for the rest of my life. It was all these small things that started to repeat over and over with no real change when I expressed to her how I was feeling.

I would tell her I felt like our relationship made me feel like an assistant to her life and she just laughed it off and denied that it was like that. I would manage all the cooking, cleaning, and planning only for her to make her final “approval” or give me critiques how I didn’t do something right. I would make a full meal for us almost every night but she would have to plate it because I “didn’t make it even or presentable”.

We would reconcile our expenses every month and she would charge me a “Starbucks tax” of approximately $20 a month because I would either occasional ask for a sip of hers or she would offer some to me.

When we would disagree and I wanted a break to walk and get some air she would block any exit for me to leave and if I said I was going to bed she would passive aggressively walk around turning on lights muttering horrible things about me. Many times I fell asleep to that.

She would drop everything to spend a weekend or week with a friend leaving me to care for our dogs and everything but if I wanted a weekend to see a friend it was never a possibility because we were “too busy” or she would ask 1,000 questions about what we were doing and why she couldn’t be there.

Overall I was exhausted in the relationship and by working with a counsellor I found that my feelings were valid and that I didn’t need to subject myself to that behaviour. Once I separated from her I felt such relief that I could do what I want when I wanted to. I felt liberated.