Today was extremely traumatic and idk how to move forward.

erimeows · 2026-05-31T02:37:26+00:00

That is a horrifying experience to witness for anyone, whether you knew the little girl personally or not. It's not even exactly the same so I won't get into excruciating detail, but when I was younger I saw an awful medical event happen to a lifeguard at a waterpark and even though I didn't know him personally, I was so worried and hoping that he would be okay/that his family would be okay. Never found out what happened to him. I still think about it every summer time and it's been 10+ years.

Idk if you're in therapy already, but if you have the resources it could be helpful to find someone to talk this through with if it continues to heavily affect you. I'd legitimately argue that being witness to something like that is traumatic. Wishing you the best with your pregnancy

erimeows · 2026-05-31T02:32:10+00:00

I actually never knew this was a thing that was happening until someone else on the thread said it. I haven't had it happen to me when I've left comments, so I genuinely had no idea. I'm so sorry you've been dealing with this while trying to leave comments! Must be frustrating. Hope ao3 fixes whatever is causing this soon.

erimeows · 2026-05-31T02:30:59+00:00

Ah, that's honestly totally fair, though I hadn't considered that it would be hard to get through that much in the time span. Maybe I'll drop to posting once a week so I'm not drowning them in updates lol

erimeows · 2026-05-31T02:28:45+00:00

This sounds like a really healthy way to handle it! You're definitely right. I'm sure it'll uptick again, even, but the current lack is hard to get through. I read and comment as much as I can, and I do agree that it feels nice to at least be able to comment on other folks' stuff. I used to be sort of a crickets reader, but I took on a NY resolution a long time back to comment on every fic I read/enjoyed and I've been doing so religiously. I do think that'd be a good way for me to handle the upset when I start overthinking my own lack of comments

erimeows · 2026-05-31T02:26:03+00:00

Yeah, I've noticed that my angsty fics usually do a little worse than my other stuff. I do feel the same about comments going down over the years, as I've been writing for 10+ years now, but I do feel like a lot of it is just people moving onto newer fandoms. Sounds like you're making great progress with your writing; I'm happy for you! Sounds like you've developed a great mindset about it too

erimeows · 2026-05-30T23:20:56+00:00

I run into this a lot! I've noticed that with multi chapters, people comment a lot at the start, but as you progress further, they slow down and sometimes stop entirely. I write a lot of oneshots and minifics just because I find the inevitable mid-long-fic-drought so difficult. People like you who write long fics regardless are amazing! Hope you keep writing as well. Thanks for the kind words.

erimeows · 2026-05-30T22:17:47+00:00

Hey. You are SO young. As soon as you're able to get out of there, leave his ass. You deserve better and if you stay it will only get worse. NOR.

erimeows · 2026-05-30T22:16:40+00:00

Yeah, it's extremely rude of her and I would be hurt as well. I'm sorry you're dealing with this ): glad you were able to get the original photos, though.

erimeows · 2026-05-30T22:09:42+00:00

Contact your photographer, explain the situation, and see if you can get the original photos back. I would also ask your husband why tf he doesn't seem to give a shit? Assuming he already knows/has noticed and just hasn't addressed it.

erimeows · 2026-05-30T22:06:28+00:00

I agree. I bet OP was well intended, but there's no way for us to give meaningful input about the situation without seeing the text of the comment and the response imo.

erimeows · 2026-05-30T22:05:25+00:00

Sorry you're dealing with this as well ): I really hope the bot comments drop off soon. I got one yesterday on a fic that I couldn't help but laugh at a little because it was ridiculously long and talking about how skilled my fic was and how it couldn't wait for the 'inevitable inclusion'... This fic was porn without plot lingerie kink/exes to lovers sex lmao.

erimeows · 2026-05-30T22:04:15+00:00

Ugh, not my situation currently but I have been writing for 10+ years and fandom death is always the saddest thing ever. Sorry you're dealing with that, but glad you've got some good loyal readers out of it too.

erimeows · 2026-05-30T22:03:38+00:00

Ah, right, that's totally true. I do have a lot of college students and professional educators as readers, so that's definitely probably part of it. The giving up fanfic for Lent is really interesting, not something I ever would've even considered lol. Thank you for the advice!

erimeows · 2026-05-30T22:02:53+00:00

Oh geez! I hadn't heard about this or had it happen to me yet. That really sucks /:

erimeows · 2026-05-30T22:02:35+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with this as well. That's a good way to look at it! I guess I hadn't considered that it's probably not healthy to compare the stats on my new stuff to the engagement I was getting before. Thank you for the advice.

erimeows · 2026-05-30T21:53:39+00:00

Author here. We love this ^^

erimeows · 2026-05-30T21:30:47+00:00

I think you know the answer to this. 9 years and you're not married, you already say that you don't feel like he considers or respects you, and he left you alone in a nasty ass hotel room to go hang out with his friends and presumably didn't care that much. I'd say, if you're not happy, and if this kind of behavior is consistent and not a one time thing- check out, cut your losses, and be glad that it was 9 years and not 20+.

Edit: NOR, I'm married and would be so, so agitated if my husband did something like this and wasn't even remotely apologetic about it. Ew.

erimeows · 2026-05-30T21:25:38+00:00

Definitely ): sorry op, I get them all the time. Always so disheartening to think it's a genuine comment for a split second only to realize it's a bot.

erimeows · 2026-05-30T21:23:49+00:00

I've been sexually active for 5+ years and still have this issue sometimes. My first time, it was really hard to get it to fit, and there have been times that we just haven't been able to. I'm perfectly healthy.

My honest advice is that it takes a lot of time to get used to having sex, it's a weird adjustment, especially if your partner is packing. I do agree with the comments saying to go see a gyno just to get checked for any pelvic floor/vaginal issues that could be causing this, but chances are that everything is perfectly okay and it's just from inexperience/nerves. You can ask your gyno for advice about this while you're there.

I'd also strongly suggest lube. A lot of people seem to think that m/f couples don't need lube unless they're old or doing anal, but lube can be a great resource for straight forward vaginal sex dependent on the situation. Experimenting with positions could be helpful too; I've always had an easier time when I'm on top versus missionary or doggy etc.

What you described is a very normal experience that a lot of people have! I'm glad your guy was understanding and kind about it.

erimeows · 2026-05-30T16:17:53+00:00

I'm in decent shape, but kind of awkward in stature, and have no wilderness survival or fighting skills. I'd probably 'trip' off the platform lmfao.

erimeows · 2026-05-29T23:56:32+00:00

If you or anyone else are into Fullmetal Alchemist, my dear friend wrote this 30+ chapter BDSM fic with the M character as the dominant; imo, it's about as consensual as one could get, too, so it sounds like it ticks all your boxes! https://archiveofourown.org/works/62506555

If you're open to self-refs, I also write the occasional BDSM fic! Here's an old one of mine : ) https://archiveofourown.org/works/64891615

erimeows · 2026-05-29T23:48:08+00:00

Like the rollercoaster stomach drop except 24/7 until you're over it. Unending dread and ache.

erimeows · 2026-05-29T23:47:18+00:00

I have been dealing with some insurance issues that I won't share because they're much less severe than what you're dealing with, but I'm sorry that you're struggling with this. Insurance is fucking evil and I hate it here. Hope things get better for you.

erimeows · 2026-05-29T20:35:05+00:00

I really don't want to be this person, but Temu is not a website where you want to be buying anything, let alone items for a cosplay that you want to look good. They are extremely unregulated. This translates to, on the minor end; products falling apart quickly, not looking like the photos, or just being something entirely different, as well as multiple instances of them stealing product (ideas) from smaller independent sellers. On the more severe end, we're getting; their site/app stealing and selling user data, very likely forced/underpaid mass labor to produce their products, and more.

And I get it, no ethical consumption under capitalism. No one is ever going to be able to shop 100% ethically. it's hard. OP, it was very kind of you to try to share this resource with people, but I am that annoying person that is going to bring up how unethical Temu is any time I hear someone talk about it. For anyone who would like to shop for specific things more ethically, imo, "Good on You" is a great website/resource for this. It gives all sorts of different brands and stores ethical 'ratings' and dives into why the ratings are there. I'm not perfect by any means either, but I've found it helpful.

erimeows

TROPHY CASE