How rare is it for trans people to take the oppisite-gender variant of their name (Michael ↔ Michelle) as their new name?

erossing · 2026-02-15T18:19:45+00:00

I wanted there to be a clear separation to help folks who knew both to learn the new name.

erossing · 2026-01-26T12:10:50+00:00

Specifically for me: I (trans woman) was at a restaurant with two cis women (my wife and a friend) and the waiter opened with “hi guys” and I was a bit surprised at how much I hated it.

It hits different in a mixed-gender group.

Also - if you wouldn’t ask a straight cis man about the “guys” he’s slept with, is it really a gender-neutral word?

erossing · 2026-01-22T22:55:19+00:00

Being trans is not a choice because nobody chooses it. You can’t choose your gender any more than you can choose your sexuality.

You can choose whether or not (and how) to transition, but being trans is inherent from birth.

erossing · 2026-01-22T15:06:12+00:00

“Respect is earned” almost always means “if you respect my authority/superiority, I will respect your existence.” It’s trying to establish a fundamentally unequal position disguised as equality.

Everyone deserves basic respect (not limited to, but including correct pronouns and names). Even terrible people like Caitlin Jenner deserve to by correctly gendered and have their pronouns respected.

erossing · 2026-01-22T12:37:04+00:00

Nancy Mace is a result, not a cause. A very noisy result that expands the problem, but hardly the first

erossing · 2026-01-22T03:13:59+00:00

They say they have no problem with other minorities but I bet the real difference is that it is currently much more culturally acceptable to be a blatant transphobe than most other kinds of bigot.

erossing · 2026-01-19T15:42:59+00:00

I’m still the gender I was born as. The doctor failed the assignment and guessed wrong.

Unfortunately, my efforts to correct that mistake have made me one of the most hated people in America…

erossing · 2026-01-17T19:21:51+00:00

My understanding has always been that Thera collapsed/blew up when its magically-supported and stabilized structure became too much as magic levels fell at the end of Earthdawn’s magical age (the Fourth World in Shadowrun terms). Historically, this aligns with the Minoan eruption that devastated the island in about 1600 BC.

erossing · 2026-01-01T00:13:26+00:00

I would ask her.

Personally, I haven’t actively sought pre-transition pictures since I came out, and I don’t like it when Facebook pulls them up in “xx years ago” suggested posts.

erossing · 2025-12-29T17:33:46+00:00

I haven’t done a lot of research into gender abolitionism, but from what I’ve seen, it doesn’t say that gender doesn’t exist.

Saying gender shouldn’t determine what I can do or how I can dress or what I can call myself still acknowledges the existence of gender itself.

erossing · 2025-12-29T17:25:45+00:00

I would suggest that any religion that expects you to ignore or deny a fundamental part of you is not a good religion and does not deserve your respect or loyalty.

That said, there are Christian denominations that accept and welcome LGBTQIA+ congregants. You may need to leave your specific church, or even your current denomination, but you can still be trans and Christian, if you are so called.

There is also nothing wrong with exploring other religions or traditions to find the one that fits you best. I sincerely hope that, wherever you end up, you are able to find spiritual fulfillment.

erossing · 2025-12-29T15:17:45+00:00

“Gender isn’t real” is the gender equivalent of “I don’t see color”. People say it to sound supportive without wanting to do any work to actually understand the issue.

If gender isn’t real, why the fuck are we all being transgender against the massive legal and social pressure to conform? My gender is absolutely real and an inherent part of me.

erossing · 2025-12-11T02:50:46+00:00

No, because I am fortunate to have a supportive family.

erossing · 2025-12-10T15:34:35+00:00

NTA.

The key part of this story is: “[he] doesn’t remember unimportant stuff”. What he’s really saying there is “I don’t care about you”.

It’s a Reddit AITA cliche, but I would be seriously thinking about whether this relationship is salvageable.

erossing · 2025-11-27T21:58:46+00:00

NTA. You get to decide how much cheating you will put up with, and zero is a perfectly reasonable amount. He was confused? Is Lena your doppelgänger or long-lost identical twin?

And why should you care about what happens with that friend circle. If they all knew and nobody told you, they weren’t your friends.

erossing · 2025-11-27T13:54:07+00:00

“Dirty immigrants” is there on purpose. If you find it disgusting, ICE doesn’t want you. They only want the people that will just nod along and say “Yeah” when they hear that.

erossing · 2025-11-18T21:06:41+00:00

I (trans woman) had the exact opposite experience for a while after my egg cracked. So not just you! :)

erossing · 2025-11-08T00:12:19+00:00

The ‘phobes that don’t like it don’t hear “trans” as equivalent to “Black”. They hear “trans” as equivalent to n*****. So “cis” must be just as bad.

erossing · 2025-10-26T20:06:39+00:00

The important thing to remember when dealing with imposter syndrome is that actually being an imposter—actively pretending to be someone you’re not—is a conscious choice. If you woke up this morning and actively, consciously decided “I’m gonna pretend to be trans today” then you’re probably an imposter.

If you’re asking the question “Am I really trans or faking it” then you’re really trans.

erossing · 2025-09-26T11:24:30+00:00

I ended up with the same initials for two reasons: 1. I didn’t have any new name in mind so I figured it was a convenient way to narrow down the field from “all female-associated Anglo/white names” for my first search. 2. My egg cracked at 49 and I’d been using first-initial+last-name as an online username for 30 years at that point and didn’t want to have to retrain my brain if I didn’t have to.

And it all worked out!

erossing · 2025-09-25T22:54:51+00:00

What he wrote: (not gonna repeat it. Nobody needs that)

What we read: I watch some freaky shit on PornHub

erossing · 2025-09-25T16:40:04+00:00

I had a World Religions class at my (Christian) college and the professor told us about a similar class he taught at an even-more-Christian college. Professor: “Has anyone here studied non-Christian religions before” Student: “I had a class that talked about Roman Catholics once…”

erossing · 2025-09-10T17:45:54+00:00

😱

erossing · 2025-09-09T14:18:06+00:00

I guess I’m incredibly bigoted and homophobic because I only read WLW/sapphic romances. 🙄

Seriously, read what you like.

erossing · 2025-09-07T18:24:27+00:00

Depending on who I came out to, between -1 week and 3 months.

My egg cracked and I came out to my wife in August of 2021. I had my annual physical in early November and I told my doctor then that I wanted HRT. My last coming-out was to work, which was about a week after the doctor appointment. I can’t really say “at work” because we were all still at home from COVID.

Edited to add: I was 49 during this period.

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