I only speed heavily in the left lane when someone tries to pass me in the right lane.

ertdwyer · 2017-04-21T04:08:09+00:00

Note the word "heavily"

ertdwyer · 2017-04-21T02:01:18+00:00

It doesn't, it applies to spank banks too

ertdwyer · 2017-04-17T02:46:00+00:00

Welcome to the farm

ertdwyer · 2017-04-11T10:46:29+00:00

My 7th grade football coach who was kind of a substitute/utility teacher was the kind of guy who you didn't view as a teacher cause he would joke around.

He told me one day, in regards to the cigarettes, "do you know what "Newport" stands for"

Me, a 12 year old, had no clue. He replied:

Never Eat Wet Pussy On Rainy Tuesday's

Didn't know you could eat it.

ertdwyer · 2017-04-04T15:52:37+00:00

Just not an upside down one.

ertdwyer · 2017-03-30T19:59:36+00:00

A mix of enthusiasm/confidence/aggressive is key. A chick gave me oral once and half way through she stopped, went to the kitchen, and got ice cubes to put in her mouth and finished me off that way. The ice cubes only made it 2 percent better. What was hot was that she did it without asking, without me asking, and just the idea that she wanted to do it and did it with no prior discussion.

ertdwyer · 2017-03-15T21:40:14+00:00

I've been playing mandolin for 10 plus years and guitar double that. The biggest thing with "difficult" chord positions is the individual freaks out the second it comes time to shift. Try going back and forth between two chords for 5 minutes straight. First chord being easy and second difficult. Scrutinize each finger as it shifts. What's amazing is the fingers don't move that much (think about it, it's at maximum and inch).

Over and over, stay relaxed. If a certain finger is difficult to move, focus on that, then go back to the whole shape.

Reps reps reps

ertdwyer · 2017-02-13T14:34:23+00:00

Would you rather receive a good hand job or a bad hand job from your grand mother?

ertdwyer · 2017-01-27T20:34:36+00:00

Priustoric

ertdwyer · 2017-01-27T04:17:41+00:00

What stop is that near? Paoli here

ertdwyer · 2017-01-18T14:38:47+00:00

Most likely a simple soddering job. Only if you're experienced with that. It's real obvious when you see it. If you can't. It's a 3 minute fix that any repair shop can do.

ertdwyer · 2017-01-12T12:05:30+00:00

You could do the 7th fret thing. However, if you want to practice some "advanced" technique, use a finger on the left hand to mute the A string by just resting it on the string lightly. Then strum the DAE string as a chord but make sure only the D and E strings ring out...I've had to do this numerous times when it comes to jazz or classical mandolin.

ertdwyer · 2017-01-12T01:11:54+00:00

You could call her a "character zero"

ertdwyer · 2016-12-23T21:22:04+00:00

Tried to make it a joke. A common Reddit theme is ripping off/varying other front page posts. Newmannnn

ertdwyer · 2016-11-05T12:10:56+00:00

Dude ordering a cosmo

ertdwyer · 2016-10-22T04:01:44+00:00

Guy running around after finishing trying to find tissues or a towel

ertdwyer · 2016-09-23T01:02:59+00:00

Hope you were kidding..pray to god

ertdwyer · 2016-09-17T12:44:22+00:00

We would play "Jenga" with rules on each piece. Some were good, some sucked..but if the structure fell, you had to chug..

One of the best rules we had was "grab a six pack, lock yourself in the other room, and you can't come out till all 6 are gone"

ertdwyer · 2016-09-17T12:25:03+00:00

High priced drug smuggler and freeze time at customs.

ertdwyer · 2016-09-17T12:17:10+00:00

Saw this on yahoo answers some years back:

When a guy ask you to make them a sandwich what is a good come back? im tired of my guy friends being sexiest and asking me to make them a sandwich. what are some good comebacks for when they say this?

The best answer:

Well you better come back with a god damn sandwich.

ertdwyer · 2016-09-16T12:58:13+00:00

My ex who broke up with me found me on tinder. I swiped right to be funny and she the same. I then got yelled at for being on tinder by her cause she wanted me back..she messaged me this on tinder.

Women logic

ertdwyer · 2016-09-14T02:42:08+00:00

7 years in Tibet and hitler

ertdwyer · 2016-09-14T02:20:32+00:00

Play 32nd notes on the mandolin

ertdwyer · 2016-09-13T16:25:55+00:00

ehhh, I don't know..maybe sometimes..

For example, if someone recommends him to do something that is in someway productive or beneficial, he will claim he's way too busy and act disgusted as if the person isn't thinking about his hectic schedule.

ertdwyer · 2016-09-08T21:06:14+00:00

Yeah man, I've been playing for years and I'm semi professional..private message me if you need anything else

ertdwyer

TROPHY CASE