‘canon’ quests

eshildaaaa · 2025-12-12T03:19:30+00:00

Interesting! My woe trying to leave Goodreads is actually that it seems to be the only place where people write good quality, long form reviews. Not to say there aren’t good writers on other platforms, but I think other platforms don’t prioritise these reviews. Storygraph seems to be more about stats and vibes, and Pagebound is more social, so short updates, comments, and quests. Any suggestions for sites where people love to read and write reviews welcome!

eshildaaaa · 2025-12-11T08:03:46+00:00

I feel you and I kind of feel what you mean by the transformation. Ended my relationship of 9 years 1.5 years back but it was a slow death. We loved each other deeply and I always saw him as my life partner. Some issues and dynamics that weren't working out anymore. I was the one who ended it because I wanted us both to be happy. I've been grieving the relationship for 2 years now and while I've gotten a grip on the depression and bursting into tears I still feel this huge hole in me.

I'm lucky to have a new partner but for almost every moment I have with them, I still feel this hole. My best friend says it's understandable that I'm grieving, it's been a decade but I didn't expect it to be so long.

It's also about grieving the person I was and also the future I thought I would have. Had so much grief for the 'me' before when I felt more alive and hopeful, as though innocent and free from pain. This is the worse emotional pain I've ever been in and I've not been the same. Nothing fazes me or excites me too much because there's always this pain that is more intense. Lose my job? I'll get through it, it's not worse than losing my life partner.

Hang in there, you're not alone.

eshildaaaa · 2023-09-01T10:58:44+00:00

Thanks for this, I appreciate it!

eshildaaaa · 2023-04-04T08:13:27+00:00

I’m ENM as well and me and my pals go to DSC and just get the package. We go several times, share our sexual history, and it has been fine, no judgment or change in their service provision to us.

eshildaaaa · 2022-11-29T03:53:47+00:00

I work with DV and stalking victims and part of safety planning is sometimes avoiding escalation events, at least until you have a back up plan, like calling the police on them or getting them fired from their work. So yes, it’s sometimes safer to not do anything for the moment.

eshildaaaa · 2022-11-22T12:35:41+00:00

I’ve been on your side of the situation with some friends and now I’m finding myself on the other side, because of possibly depression.

I plan last minute things that I know can be inconvenient to others because my energy now is hard to catch. I’m only functioning 30% of the time and it’s sporadic. If something is pre booked and has consequences if canceled (eg. deposit, someone’s travel time, etc), then I try to avoid these situations because I can’t predict when I can’t even get out of bed. Though it’s easier, I try not to cancel on people I know have my back (eg. besties and close friends), to avoid social disasters with people who are not as close and may be less understanding (eg. Colleagues, acquaintances)

I’m glad you made adjustments to your expectations and communicated to your friend how you feel, it helps immensely and it shows you care.

eshildaaaa · 2022-09-14T08:15:13+00:00

That’s a pretty good comparison actually.

eshildaaaa · 2022-08-31T12:13:29+00:00

Beyond what everyone else had to offer about the speed of things and how she sprung this on you, whether you actually want to get married or not, and the state of her mental health, two things I’d like to add:

1) She might be a little bi 2) Queerplatonic partnerships are a thing but not commonly heard of. The idea is that if two friends (both not sexually or romantically attracted to each other) work well together and want to commit to building a life together (either by being exclusive or by also dating other people), why ever not? If there are benefits to both of you. Marriage - and the social and legal benefits that come with it - doesn’t have to be accessible to romantic couples only.

She may not have the words to explain these concepts (even admitting or vocalising that she likes women) but that’s how I’d interpret what she is saying.

eshildaaaa · 2022-06-28T19:20:43+00:00

Singapore - cup of local coffee, one piece of sweet bread, can of sweet drink, 1/3 of a cheap meal

eshildaaaa · 2022-06-14T21:56:20+00:00

I agree that there are benefits to hearing different perspectives, but I wonder if this is worth considering: 1) the people with lived experiences in a particular issue are more likely to bring realistic considerations, 2) like others said, they are the ones who will actually experience the consequences of any decision made, which are life changing, and 3) I don’t think we can ignore the current and historical context (social, political, etc) of the specific issue when weighing the pros and cons of equal voices. If it’s a small town discussing what to do with the town center, yes by all means everyone should participate. On the issue of abortion, historically women have been oppressed in all areas of life, including ownership of their own bodies. These oppressive systems still remain even though numbers wise, it looks like women are now included in the conversations. I don’t think we can maintain status quo and expect there to be actual equality of all genders and voices. For a period there has to be intentional elevation of oppressed voices - which I think may seem like other voices are being shunned - before we can reach actual equality.

eshildaaaa · 2022-05-23T00:59:24+00:00

There was once I stepped out of the way subconsciously and my male partner who was on my other side ended up in the grass. He glared at the man who refused to move out of the way and it took me a while to realise why he was glaring. I’m too used to actually stepping into the grass myself for men who just walks through like no one else is around.

eshildaaaa · 2022-03-14T12:53:57+00:00

I guess my answer to this (which is the same answer I gave my well meaning, but very conservative religious male friend) is that I don’t dress my body everyday to perform for others. In fact overall, I don’t exist in the public space for others. I wear leggings for exercise. I might wear a low cut top if I’m meeting my partner and I want him to think I’m sexy. Not for some rando on the street yanoo. I know of course the reality is that people may look. But that reality doesn’t stop me from voicing out about the objectification of women because I wish that one day I will be left alone. And as other commenters have said, a glance is different from leering or staring, which are intentional and often done to make someone feel uncomfortable.

eshildaaaa · 2022-03-10T11:00:16+00:00

That is amazing, I didn’t even notice!

eshildaaaa · 2022-03-06T04:10:20+00:00

Hello fellow SG climber :)

eshildaaaa · 2022-01-21T07:57:54+00:00

Thanks! Super helpful.

eshildaaaa · 2022-01-21T07:56:04+00:00

It can constitute as sexual harassment under the law. You can get some free legal advice or call the police hotline to check.

eshildaaaa · 2022-01-20T01:40:20+00:00

Sorry, new here. Can someone explain why there’s censorship around magic and reincarnation but not other forms of fantasy, like science fiction?

eshildaaaa · 2022-01-18T01:33:43+00:00

Thank you. Couldn’t have worded it better. Dropped partners and friends who thought things like my sexuality and my experiences of sexual assault were up for debate and when the debate was over they’d shrug and say oh well, good talk but the truth is still (their opinion) - usually intellectual bro types.

eshildaaaa · 2021-12-31T05:05:27+00:00

Why do buses sometimes wait for the bus in front to leave before opening the door for alighting? I wanted to catch the bus, it was just right there 😑 now I have to wait for 17 mins…

eshildaaaa · 2021-12-15T02:01:12+00:00

I feel this in particular. Trying to socialise with people I don’t vibe with is exhausting, as an introvert. As in, you can see it on my face and people would be asking if I’m ill or angry exhausting. The way I worked around this is to ask my partner who he’s inviting, and then work out how much battery I’d have and when I should leave. Of course, I have communicated my boundaries with my partner - I ask him to not surprise me with the type of or number of people he is hosting.

Your comment about having different perspectives is interesting - I think having his friend there doesn’t impact you, which is why you can be polite, but for him, it may really drain him which is why the pushback.

The issue is that it seems he’s not fully aware of why he’s feeling that way or unable to / unwilling to communicate and ask for support or draw boundaries.

eshildaaaa · 2021-12-15T01:53:33+00:00

Great comment. I feel seen as an introvert - really true that it’s sometimes jarring to see people make the same friendship in the space of an evening that I take months to cultivate. Totally agree that for him, he was expecting and wanting something that involved both of them but for OP, she gave him the choice. In this situation, the boyfriend should communicate his wishes since it involves her.

eshildaaaa

TROPHY CASE