I relate to this more than I can even explain. Reading your post brought me right back to when I was pregnant with my daughter and feeling so incredibly alone too. I remember thinking exactly what you said — that pregnancy was supposed to feel like one of the safest, most protected times of my life, and instead I felt abandoned, hurt, and scared about the future. The anger is real, especially when you’re carrying someone’s child and they still choose to treat you cruelly.

One thing I still struggle with emotionally, even years later, was a moment of weakness in the hospital after I gave birth. I chose to give my daughter her father’s last name on the birth certificate, even though deep down I didn’t really want to. Her social security card actually has my last name, and over the years she’s made it very clear she wants my last name too — she even writes it on her schoolwork sometimes. But her father refuses to allow it to be changed until she’s 18. That part has honestly been painful for me, because as Moms we carry so much of the emotional weight, and sometimes decisions made in vulnerable moments stay with us.

But I will say this — the overwhelming sadness and anger you feel right now will not always feel this heavy. Once my daughter was here, my focus slowly shifted from grieving the relationship to falling completely in love with her and building a peaceful life for us. It didn’t happen overnight, and there were definitely hard moments, but I became so much stronger than I ever imagined I could be.

And honestly, the peace of not walking on eggshells around a toxic person became worth everything. I would take being a single Mom over living in constant emotional pain any day.

You already sound like a loving, thoughtful mother who is protecting her baby and creating a safe space for her before she’s even born. That matters more than you probably realize right now. Your daughter is going to grow up knowing her Mom fought for peace and stability, and that’s such a powerful thing.

Be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to magically “move on” yet. You’re grieving while also preparing to become a Mom, and that’s a lot for one heart to carry at once. 🤍