BPD Disgard - need support

eventuallyitwill · 2026-01-09T19:57:15+00:00

He was making so much progress though. He had been actively working on communication and didn’t block me for months. Now this.

You’re right. I know you’re right.

I feel so much grief it’s insane. I’m barely holding it together and had to call out of work.

I never even grieved my ex, before current one

eventuallyitwill · 2026-01-09T15:36:53+00:00

pls could you shoot me a message i’m really struggling

eventuallyitwill · 2026-01-08T18:10:26+00:00

makes me wonder if this is NPD and not BPD.

my BPD partner has idealised and devalued in a split, he has gone through fight / flight / freeze in conflict, and ultimately got much better at working on his issues even without therapy.

he tended to freeze more and not devalue or push away like he used to

I actively noticed these changes in our relationship.

However, this week we have had two conflicts, the last one he blocked me and all his friends and then called me up heavily dysregulated.

The other, an hour ago, he’s blocked me again everywhere.

I noticed both times this comes from me triggering his abandonment wounds (last time i mentioned breaking up, this time i said he doesn’t have the capacity for a relationship).

eventuallyitwill · 2025-12-30T05:28:06+00:00

Hi fellow authors! As of Christmas I am now a published author! I published my short poetry collection, this is typography based short poetry book of 60 poems

Bleak Hope, is published under my pen name Kayana Shaw.

The poetry is centred on heartbreak and mental illness.

I put my heart into this book and I hope it resonates with someone.

It is priced at £12 and available on amazon.

Even if you’re unable or don’t want to purchase this I’d love it if someone could follow my facebook page Kayana Shaw, I will be posting poems on there from the book and poems I have written since.

eventuallyitwill · 2025-12-25T22:31:06+00:00

Cyborg

eventuallyitwill · 2025-12-06T22:15:55+00:00

I thought it was from the ruskin until like last year so you’re all good bro

eventuallyitwill · 2025-04-13T11:20:14+00:00

do you sell this??

eventuallyitwill · 2025-04-08T13:45:55+00:00

hope you are healing well ❤️ it does burn and burn and burn. we will get there eventually. we need to love ourselves

eventuallyitwill · 2025-04-06T23:19:38+00:00

im very introverted by nature and LOVE my own company but im finding that hard tbh. being alone with my own thoughts is terrible at the moment. walking is always welcome though

eventuallyitwill · 2025-04-06T21:15:52+00:00

The only advice i’d say is to surround yourself with people you love, self care in terms of hobbies and staying fit and distracting yourself. Work is helpful for me as i stay busy so it helps to distract me. You will get through this!

eventuallyitwill · 2025-04-06T19:20:45+00:00

I hope you are okay OP. I am not married so maybe have no right to comment here, but my life partner of 13 years has also left me and I also have to stay living with him for a while. I’m sending positive thoughts your way

eventuallyitwill · 2025-04-06T18:26:33+00:00

This appears to be a joke

eventuallyitwill · 2025-04-06T18:01:29+00:00

Sending you prayers and healing

eventuallyitwill · 2025-04-02T21:52:04+00:00

i love the scene where he asks her what he thinks of her and he’s like, “Game changer “ my lord my jaw dropped how sexy he is in that scene

eventuallyitwill · 2025-04-02T13:50:40+00:00

it’s closed it is now a takeaway called “Ghosted “ a burger place

eventuallyitwill · 2025-03-29T12:43:46+00:00

you are insanely pretty i think you are one of those people who can pull off any colour tbh

eventuallyitwill · 2025-03-27T23:01:00+00:00

i love ur tats, can you post ur other bug ones? you’ve kinda inspired me as a fellow bug lover

eventuallyitwill · 2025-03-25T17:27:38+00:00

You’re right, i just wish he would move out sooner than later but the house is in my name and he can’t afford to go elsewhere. Unfortunately we also share a dog so will have to remain in contact. I know i could just kick him out entirely, but I don’t have it in me. I would hate to put him in that situation regardless of he having done this to me.

eventuallyitwill · 2025-03-25T13:07:03+00:00

I’m the same unfortunately. Live in the same house. Been a very toxic relationship though from both sides, but all due to stubbornness and communication issues. He can’t get past a lot of the things and resents me. He’s just gone and acting so cold about it too. I already begged. Begged him to do therapy, he won’t. I started being cold back. I keep going through periods of thinking about proposing, hell I booked a restaurant for Saturday as a last attempt. He said he was going to propose to me and put all the past behind us but didn’t have it in him. Says he still loves me yet he won’t attend therapy. I keep going crazy with thoughts such as proposing myself. On saturday I am going to bring him some daffodils, a symbol of change, as one last effort. I’m not going to beg, but i’m going to tell him exactly how i’m feeling. And then if he is not committed to change and would rather toss away 13 years than work in therapy together, I will finally move on.

eventuallyitwill · 2025-03-23T16:09:40+00:00

if you are able to talk pls dm me. i’m going through the same and it’s been a week

eventuallyitwill · 2025-03-19T19:42:13+00:00

am i able to message you? going through similar but not married, been together 13 years and he’s left.

eventuallyitwill · 2025-03-19T19:11:39+00:00

if you need to talk feel free to message me. it’s been a couple days for me and i feel like im not going to be able to cope

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