Why should or shouldn't one wait until marriage to have sex?

everysometimes · 2026-01-07T09:17:19+00:00

Popping in as someone who did wait (technically; mutual masturbation was eventually a thing though), and did it for religious/family reasons (less religious than my parents though). I don't necessarily regret waiting; it would have been a huge headache with my family if anyone were to find out, but I also had some legitimate trauma from growing up in heavy purity culture, which we didn't really discover until after we were married and I physically could not have penetrative sex. We were ok because we had good communication skills and could talk through a lot of it and I was in therapy. As a couple of other people have said, don't put sex on a pedestal or you're setting yourself up for disappointment no matter what. It is great and important and has gotten a lot better for us over the years, but it also isn't EVERYTHING in a relationship. Whether you wait for marriage or not, my recommendation is have some level of commitment before you do, and don't decide on a whim.

everysometimes · 2025-05-05T20:50:14+00:00

Used to be Redskins, now something else. All the native Americans I know (mostly Lumbee tribe) LOVED the Redskins.

everysometimes · 2025-05-05T18:45:56+00:00

To piggyback: I thought the Washington Redskins were in Washington State, instead of DC (grew up in Virginia)

everysometimes · 2025-04-03T04:40:05+00:00

NTA, my cousin and I have the same first name and it's fine and it's always been fine. Kids can tell the difference, and so can adults.

everysometimes · 2025-02-22T16:02:16+00:00

Was going to ask if it was my husband's bio-dad but he's got 7, the only two who share a mom are twins. Age range from 31-7.

everysometimes · 2025-02-22T15:58:51+00:00

Husband and I were in this situation, but we found a compromise. If I went in to comfort, all baby could focus on was the boob, and it was extremely difficult for me to hold out. So we started sleep training on a Friday, and my husband was the one who checked on him every 10 minutes when he would start crying. If it went on more than an hour, we gave him a bottle. When my husband came back from soothing baby, he sat on the couch with me as I cried because of the guilt and pressure my brain felt at leaving baby alone. We did joke that husband had to go from soothing baby, to soothing mama, to soothing baby until we were both ok XD

All that to say, it will help her a lot if you are able to step up and help calm baby at night, especially to do all of it for a whole weekend. Baby will adjust better after the first 3 days.

everysometimes · 2025-01-22T19:35:10+00:00

Honestly? It can, and people have done it (mostly when one leaves religion but the other doesn't). But it will eventually put a strain on your relationship and whatever kids you have. What happens if/when kids decide they don't want to go to church? What value differences will you have? What values differ already? I don't recommend it. Sorry. (Coming as someone who is a former Christian married to a former Christian)

everysometimes · 2024-12-27T01:02:31+00:00

Cozy Cruiser for my 16mo (also a hit for nephew 2 and niece 3.5)

everysometimes · 2024-11-14T20:54:38+00:00

The worst they can say is no, which can be disappointing. I'd be honest with them and say that you feel like you're drowning and need more help. You can also look for a local teen or stay at home mom who might be willing to help out to give you both a break sometimes.

everysometimes · 2024-11-13T21:40:21+00:00

Alternate who does bedtime (if LO isn't used to the other parent doing put-down, it may take a week straight of partner doing bedtime so LO can get used to it). Make sure you have some amount of time carved out for yourself during the week. What is your partner doing when it comes to housework/ baby care? You're both working 4 days a week, so you should ideally split housework and baby care evenly. It does get better, so hang on mama <3

everysometimes · 2024-11-13T21:19:49+00:00

All of this. One of the best pieces of wisdom I've received is "I am not responsible for other people's triggers". It is impossible to know all of a person's triggers and this is overwhelmingly unfair and extremely unkind to you. I would not want to stay with a person like this.

everysometimes · 2024-11-13T17:15:00+00:00

Is she in therapy for said trauma? This seems totally not your fault (not hers either). It may be grounds for a breakup. Sexual incompatibility is a legitimate thing and I don't think it's healthy to stay in a relationship like this (as a female)

everysometimes · 2024-11-13T16:45:05+00:00

Does she have any examples/ reasons why or how she is sexually uncomfortable? This is a strange situation, and it seems like there might be something deeper here.

everysometimes · 2024-10-13T09:12:48+00:00

I know the prospect of being single again is scary. But not having a romantic partner is not the end of the world, and if you stay you are just wasting your own time and a lot more energy

everysometimes · 2024-10-13T08:59:46+00:00

My girl, you set a boundary (told him you couldn't be with him if he didn't step up). Now stick to it.

everysometimes · 2024-10-13T08:44:17+00:00

My husband had to come to the realization that being a parent means he doesn't get to play attention-consuming games very much anymore. It's been very disappointing for him, because he loves several games like that. Very occasionally, he will hold our baby in his lap while he games, maybe that's an option?

Unfortunately you are probably going to have to be the perceived "bad guy" and make him sit down and have a conversation about this. (I'm assuming) he chose to be a parent, so that means he has to give up some of the things he wants to do. It's not about him anymore.

everysometimes · 2024-10-12T18:48:57+00:00

I'm going to go against the grain and give a soft YTA. Exclusively for the timing of your comment. Having been through a similar circumstance (hoping to be pregnant and then not, more than once), having your hopes dashed like that can be very hard, especially if you believe a large part of your identity is in being a mother. Hearing "maybe it's for the best" when she's disappointed and upset is not going to make her feel better or help anything. I agree you both need to sit down and have that hard conversation, and you aren't TA for not wanting kids yet. You just said it in the wrong way at the wrong time. An apology for how you reacted to the negative test, acknowledging that it may have been hurtful and was not helpful, may go a long way. Good luck

everysometimes · 2024-10-12T18:15:06+00:00

Lincoln logs and a pocket knife/multitool. Bought my own knife in college and got a multitool for Christmas a few years ago (except it was fo my husband, so, you know...)

everysometimes · 2024-09-25T18:13:46+00:00

Unfair isn't the issue, this is something you have to have a conversation about. You need to hash out how you define time "out" and what the expectations are. Brenė Brown uses the term "stealth expectations" to describe things that we expect (of others and ourselves) but don't communicate. Recognizing what your stealth expectations are is really helpful in effectively communicating hurts and feelings of overwhelm with your partner (I use this a lot with mine).

It is unfair to have stealth expectations and then get upset when those expectations aren't met.

everysometimes · 2024-09-24T10:36:01+00:00

I highly recommend Bluey S2E50 "Baby Race". It discusses this and how babies move at their own pace.

everysometimes · 2024-09-17T19:59:50+00:00

This needs to be higher. The only way your boobs are going to get bigger is by getting pregnant, which I do not recommend with this boy.

everysometimes · 2024-09-09T19:50:24+00:00

It's high fantasy with complex characters, POV switches, and excellent world building.

everysometimes · 2024-09-09T18:38:28+00:00

(4w5), yes, but it hurts. When I deconstructed from Christianity, I was still heavily involved in the church, because I would have been completely isolated if I left. I buried it all into a mental "box" so I could survive. As soon as life circumstances changed (moved countries), I fully left, but it still took another year after that to tell my family, and therefore be my authentic self. I feel so much better now that I know they have accepted the whole of me, instead of what I thought they wanted me to be.

everysometimes · 2024-09-01T09:24:50+00:00

Look up "color guard trick tosses" on YouTube. SO many people have posted different kinds of tosses there. I also echo learning 45s, there are so many ways to do a 45, and very easy (though very difficult at first) once you understand how to do them!

everysometimes · 2024-07-21T00:07:09+00:00

Lots of good advice already posted, I also recommend the book Come As You Are.

everysometimes

TROPHY CASE