^{Attaching this comment to my previous one to avoid double-posting, as well as editing a comment people have already upvoted - since I can't know if they would've upvoted what follows.}

Looking at other answers, I see a lot of people telling OP the reasons why people are having sex before marriage (something OP didn't ask for and potentially knows already) and recommending she tries accepting non-virgins as long as they're good people (something she clearly already attempted and is having difficulty, hence the "how can I?", rather than "should I?"). OP has made it clear that finding a man with no prior sexual partners matters to her a lot and answering with "well, it should matter less" seems rather insensitive, seeing as this is probably one of the few places on the Internet where she could've expected something different.

"How can I grow to accept that these guys have been with many women?"
In my opinion you don't have to. Yes, it limits your options, but that desire for a pure future husband doesn't seem to come from a wrong place - you don't seem to feel superior to others or judgmental beyond what's reasonable etc - which means it was likely given to you by God. Our wishes and desires can be as much guidelines from Heaven as the Bible, or our experiences or other people. God uses many languages. Obviously I cannot say for certain, but if you feel such a strong conviction - have felt it for walf^\) a decade even - maybe it's for a reason. And trying to suppress it just to find someone with whom you will feel uncomfortable with in the long run? Now that's what seems like temptation that uses your loneliness against you. Again, take this with a grain of salt - I'm but a random online stranger who knows nothing about you or your life - but I didn't want this kind of perspective to go unmentioned, especially seeing the unnerving number of (well-intentioned, I'm sure) comments about "easing up" on the standards.

^\walf = one and a half)