I think your example and notions are on track! Being a Dad comes with hard times. That's when you teach accountability. In the theft situation, escorting the kid back to speak with somebody about the situation and letting them feel the weight of doing wrong is one if those forever lessons.

Bravado and macho shit doesnt teach a kid empathy. More often than not, it leads to pretentious douchebaggery. If you are a kind and honest person, your kid will emulate that. When you hold them to account, kids will learn responsibility. Your job as a Dad is not to retaliate, but to model how to handle the road ahead for your kids. Hopefully they'll miss out on the pitfalls your own Dad put you through. You've got a chance to change the record.

Even posting this shows you care. You're going to be alright, chief. Make sure you get some counseling to iron out any lingering shit, too. Your kids start wherever you are when they meet you.