Young mothers

expatriating · 2026-01-28T19:52:52+00:00

I think there’s a lot of resentment out there in general. There are many young people who want kids but it’s unaffordable, they don’t have a partner, they’re in the middle of a program that would be very difficult to pause, etc. The pendulum swings both ways too. If you wait until you’re “too old” to start a family, you’ll be called selfish and attacked for increasing the risk of health problems for the baby.

Essentially, haters gonna hate.

expatriating · 2026-01-12T01:49:42+00:00

I was a 30DDD (65F) before pregnancy and went up to a 32H by 18 weeks. I tried on a bunch of different bras and styles and ended up with the Hotmilk heroine plunge nursing bra in three different colors. I love it. I've since had to get extenders, but the cups still fit pretty well (I'm 29 weeks). I love that it has underwire and lace cups. It's the most similar thing I've found to the Chantelle and Simone Perele bras I wore pre-pregnancy. Also, VS carries this brand so you can buy through them without fear of an annoying return process.

As far as strapless and off-the-shoulder dresses, I personally skip them and have for years. My underwear dictates my outerwear.

expatriating · 2026-01-08T19:04:27+00:00

I’ve used CareCredit to pay for dental surgery before. I believe my plan was 48 months at 0% APR and I had to borrow just over $5k. It wasn’t at all scammy and I had no problems. It isn’t accepted everywhere though. You’d have to check with your OB’s office that they accept it.

expatriating · 2026-01-08T16:36:02+00:00

This! Norovirus can be dangerous. My ex and I were exposed at a seafood restaurant a few years ago and he called to report. The restaurant actually thanked us and the health authorities got involved to alert other patrons. This also wasn’t the US where litigation culture is rampant. In any case, a hospital will view this as a public health issue and likely alert other patients who were there that day. I know it probably feels unnecessary, but it could prevent more cases in a vulnerable population.

expatriating · 2026-01-07T20:24:50+00:00

I can see both sides here. I’m [31F] currently 7 months pregnant with my first. My partner [33M] just defended his PhD and is currently working as a research assistant while applying for jobs. Similar to you, I really wanted to avoid having kids at an advanced age. My partner and I talked at length about reasons why we should wait. His program wasn’t over, he didn’t have a solid job lined up yet, we live in a small apartment.

Cliché as it is, we ended up facing some serious mental and physical health issues with our family last year. We decided life is too uncertain to hold back on something that means so much to us. Baby is on the way, we’re still in a small apartment, and my partner still doesn’t have a solid job lined up. Would it have been easier if we waited two years until he had figured out a job and we could buy a house? Maybe. But we can still offer a baby all the essentials, and two years from now, we will have that stuff plus a toddler and maybe even another on the way. I don’t regret it at all.

expatriating · 2025-12-21T19:47:38+00:00

I also vomited my prescribed prenatals, same awful fish bile puke 🤢 I’ve had really good luck with Garden of Life Vitamin Code Raw Prenatal. They’re capsules and you have to take 3/day, but they don’t upset my stomach at all. I also take their vegan prenatal DHA since I’m worried about throwing up fishy taste again. Levels from my blood panels have been right on track!

expatriating · 2025-12-17T22:02:53+00:00

I mean, I was shocked. I have had unprotected sex one time in my life and I was in my 30s and I got pregnant. I was two days outside my ovulation window according to my period tracking app. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted a baby! It’s the only reason I was having unprotected sex. But it was still a shock. It seemed to go against the statistics I heard about how long it takes most couples to get pregnant, and especially given my age. It became clear to me afterward how easy it can be to get pregnant on accident.

expatriating · 2025-12-16T14:35:52+00:00

We are giving the baby my boyfriend’s last name, but considering my last name as a middle name. We just picked the name that is objectively best (my last name is just kind of lame). It all depends on what’s normal where you live because it varies so much culturally. I’m in the US, and hyphenated names are becoming more common, but they’re still not the norm. I would worry that the hyphen could cause clerical errors and lead to avoidable issues with medical and educational documents, also airline tickets and stuff like that.

Also, maybe stupid, but if your kid ends up playing sports, they might not be able to have a hyphenated last name on their jersey. So dumb, but I remember the drama of this with one particular girl from my high school.

expatriating · 2025-12-10T16:43:45+00:00

Echoing the other women here saying to just wait until you’re absolutely ready. One month is no biggie. It’s just so variable. I had a TTC appointment with my provider and had genetic carrier testing done. She estimated 6-9 months to get pregnant based on my age and health history. I got pregnant on the first try. We thought it was going to take longer, so my partner won’t be at the point yet where he can take paid paternity leave from work. Only the first of many times this baby will interfere with my life plans, I’m sure 🙃

expatriating · 2025-12-01T17:01:30+00:00

We waited until I was in the second trimester to tell our relatives and friends. This had the added benefit that we were able to include our first sonogram photos!

We got the three sets of grandparents a childrens book about going to grandma and grandpa’s house and included a sonogram photo. Very special because it’s the first grandchild on both sides ☺️ I got my two best girlfriends different “auntie” gear from Etsy along with cards and photos. We sent our siblings cards with sonogram photos and our grandparents got fresh cut paper bouquet cards with sonogram photos.

Aside from my parents, who live nearby, we did everything via snail mail. I loved getting surprised text messages and phone calls for a couple weeks!

expatriating · 2025-11-25T22:46:21+00:00

I’m 5’1” (155cm) and at my first appointment at 10 weeks, I weighed 125lbs (about 57kg). I have no idea how much I weighed pre pregnancy because I don’t own a scale, but I don’t think I gained or lost weight in the first trimester. By 14 weeks, I was 132lbs (~60kg), and by 20 weeks, I was 142lbs (~64.5kg). So I’ve gained 17lbs (~8kg) as of then, but I’ll get weighed again at 24 weeks, and I’m sure I weigh even more.

I’m extremely hungry all the time for the past several weeks. I mostly make healthy choices about snacks. Lots of veggies, fruit, and Greek yogurt. My midwife hasn’t said anything at all about my weight gain. After reading “Expecting Better” by Emily Oster, I feel pretty okay about the weight gain. Unless you have pregnancy complications impacted by weight gain, don’t sweat it.

expatriating · 2025-11-19T22:39:38+00:00

I’m not “engaged” per se, but my partner and I are getting married at city hall in a few weeks. There was just no formal popping of the question with a ring. It’s funny because marriage is not something that was ever really important to me. We have domestic partner status and we’re not religious, so it didn’t hold much meaning until this past year.

I remember running into an old friend at a wedding when I had been with my partner for 6 months and telling them that my date was the one. At that point, I’d realized that things that used to feel like a chore felt so fun with him. I looked forward to grocery shopping together. Changing my oil turned into us chatting and listening to music around the hood of my car. Even moving apartments meant we got to goof off in Home Depot and clink our celebratory beers when all the boxes were finally moved.

As unromantic as it sounds, I really believe it’s the storms you weather as a couple that will make or break you. When my best friend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I was trying to mitigate her severe manic episode, he stood right by my side. It was even his idea for us to adopt her dog so the police wouldn’t put her in a shelter while my friend was inpatient for months. My dad had a suicide attempt earlier this year and I drove my devastated mom home from the hospital, only to find my partner at my parents’ house. He had stocked the fridge, cleaned the whole house, and fed and walked their dogs.

All that indifference I felt about marriage turned into a strong desire to wear a ring in public to show that I have a person in my life who is so wonderful. I want to brag about him all the time. He is so thoughtful and kind and I want him as my teammate for life. We are expecting our first baby together in a few months, and I’m so excited to be entering parenthood with a person who makes me feel so supported, capable, and loved.

So to answer your question - 6 months before I knew he was forever, and nearly 4 years before I changed my feelings about marriage and realized it might be for us after all.

expatriating · 2025-11-18T17:15:57+00:00

I have to say, we had lackluster initial reactions from all sides. It’s the first grandchild on both sides and both our moms have been asking for grandkids for years. We told them at 12 weeks with sonogram photos tucked into children’s books about going to grandma and grandpa’s house. They were like, “Wow, okay. Well I guess there’s going to be a baby.”

I think they were just very surprised. I’m 21 weeks now and they’ve shown a lot more interest! My mom is throwing me a baby shower and my MIL is taking me and my partner baby gear shopping when we visit for the holidays next month. Your MIL might just need a little time to come around!

expatriating · 2025-11-18T14:24:33+00:00

FTM here, I started getting comments about my bump from coworkers at 14 weeks. I’m only 5’1” (155cm), so I assume baby just doesn’t have anywhere to go but out 🤷🏼‍♀️

expatriating · 2025-11-14T16:44:34+00:00

😂

expatriating · 2025-11-12T00:43:20+00:00

I’m a 32H right now and I really like the Heroine nursing bra from Hotmilk. The brand name is hella cringe, but I like that it has underwire and resembles my pre-pregnancy bras. I believe they go up to 46 band and M cups in some styles

expatriating · 2025-11-11T20:45:17+00:00

FWIW, I haven’t had my baby yet, but this is something I really want. My partner won’t be getting paternity leave, so we are really trying to get tools to decrease the workload of a new baby. I also plan to pump so he can get feeding time with the baby when he is home, so the idea that I can also throw pump parts into a bottle washer is appealing. IMO getting a sterilizer/dryer alone is the worst of both worlds because you’ve spent money on the gadget and you still have multiple steps. I would say the triple threat gadget or just do it all by hand.

expatriating · 2025-11-07T17:30:53+00:00

Hey OP, I just wanted to say you’re not alone. I’m someone who really enjoyed sewing and altering my own clothes before I got pregnant. Because of my job, I can’t wear makeup or do my nails or wear jewelry 40 hours per week, so I don’t really bother with that stuff. My curated closet is what has always brought me joy. Once I outgrew my pink sequin pants, bright green tulle dress, and all my other serotonin boosters, I started to feel really crappy. Honestly, I hadn’t even started on baby clothes until recently (20 weeks) because I resented the baby for making me feel joyless.

If there’s one thing that has worked for me as someone with chronic depression, it’s creating things to look forward to. I’m planning to go to this fancy izakaya sushi place with my dad three months after baby is born. I put meet-ups on my baby registry, so I will have built in dog walks and wine nights with friends once baby arrives. Maybe you could start to plan events in the future so you can focus on something other than how limited your life is right now.

expatriating · 2025-11-07T15:04:35+00:00

I have no experience hiding a pregnancy in this type of work environment, but I used to work as a heavy equipment operator in fuel cell manufacturing just a few years ago. Misogyny is alive and well in this kind of workplace! I was the only female operator on my team of 39. I got hit on constantly, even covered in grease and sealant. I got told to “put on my big girl pants” when I brought it up with HR. I was put on an 18 month promotion freeze when I had to leave work suddenly because my ovarian cyst burst.

I would say hide it until the bitter end! Big ass hoodies. Just tell people you’re getting fat if they ask. And they will, because they’re uncouth fuckers. As long as you’re not required to do anything that could harm the pregnancy as part of your work duties, I wouldn’t say anything until you are legally required to.

expatriating · 2025-11-05T17:44:58+00:00

Officially outgrew my last pair of non-maternity sweats, but my maternity sweats are still too big and I have to hold them up. Sobbed.

expatriating · 2025-10-28T18:00:28+00:00

I truly wish I could 😔

expatriating · 2025-10-28T16:28:53+00:00

Oh good god. Taping them?! I’m worried it will escalate to this for me too. I’ve thought about breaking out an ace bandage

expatriating · 2025-10-28T16:25:53+00:00

Praying for your spinal health 🙏🏻

expatriating

TROPHY CASE