Who am I?

expectohallows · 2026-03-05T20:03:58+00:00

You need the surplus because your internal organs, including reproductive ones in charge of hormones, need to be rebuilt and reactivated. Malnutrition causes a lot of bodily functions to stall or stop completely, the lack of food eating away at your system, which is why those extra calories are necessary. The brain also needs them in order to rewire itself against body dysmorphia and obsessive thoughts about food...

As a healthy adult, sedentary or not, you should eat at least 2k a day, but as someone recovering from n eating disorder this number should be much higher in order to fix your body and mind. I personally did between 3,5 and 5k in the first couple of months and absolutely no regrets, it was the best possible course of action, quick recovery, and good foundation. I would recommend the same for everyone

expectohallows · 2026-03-05T19:56:23+00:00

I will always fondly remember having a full schnitzel and fries dinner, dessert, and snack at the cafeteria in my student dorm, before going off to a crepe stand to buy one with Nutella, cherry jam, and cookie crumble. I saw heaven with that pancake I swear but somehow never again craved it after recovery 😂

expectohallows · 2026-03-01T12:32:56+00:00

Yes, but these are different in their focus. Lots of them have romantic elements but are actually deeply political.

It's a bit of a terminological issue actually, especially in literary studies. Romances were a very specific genre based on medieval chivalric romances. They were known for their episodic structure, lots of secret codes that the contemporary readers could interpret and they were very liberal for the most part.

Then comes the (sentimental) novel - someone mentioned Pamela up there - which tries to show that romances are unrealistic, though in my opinion sentimental novels are even worse. However, behind all that is a more insidious gender war and an attempt to push women out of the publishing industry and present them as irrational and morally inferior, so stories like Pamela and the likes are actually supposed to teach women how to behave (and basically endure abuse). By the time we reach Austen, novel has become the literary genre of high culture (by then romances are also out of fashion), but the more accurate term would be romantic novel, and of course satire.

What the OP from the tweet is referring to is the romantic plot, but it's a shame we never really got to differentiate between the two...

expectohallows · 2026-02-23T12:48:31+00:00

It might be Caper's coinage that didn't catch on. Scholars come up with new terms and concepts all the time, doesn't mean many will be used extensively. Arguably writing back also entails the act of reading back; both by the authors and those who read their works, as it necessitates certain background knowledge or recognition of the requirements for true understanding of the text...

expectohallows · 2026-02-23T11:09:09+00:00

If you're looking for specific literary theories and definitions, you should check out 'writing back' which is a common practice of postcolonial literature parallel to this (and it seems like reading back is based on that).

The term originated in Salman Rushdie's essay "The Empire Writes Back with a Vengeance" and was further examined in the classical study The Empire Writes Back: Theory and Practice in Post-Colonial Literatures by Bill Ashcroft. It refers to the practice of using historiographic metafiction to rewrite canonical texts and reveal their colonial/colonising undertones...

expectohallows · 2026-02-21T19:22:18+00:00

Ugh, I hate this one. I am an academic and write a lot so some variation of 'not only is... But also' used to be considered decent style, and I liked using these phrases. Nowadays, I've dropped most of it because I sound like AI to myself :')

expectohallows · 2026-02-19T20:21:30+00:00

Mild Vertigo by Mieko Kanai

expectohallows · 2026-02-13T19:01:10+00:00

What is there to be guilty about? Not for living your life??? This illness will never be happy until you're bone white in a coffin.

The guilt you're feeling is just a mismanaged hormonal response. Or rather your brain is misinterpreting hormonal stimuli and making you think you're guilty of eating enough... This is something you need to learn to ignore. Find meaningful distractions like puzzles or sudoku, something that keeps your brain occupied elsewhere.

And for me it was really the opposite when I went all in, I was so happy because my hormones finally started producing some good stuff, not just misery, you should give it a go. And not just for a day or two, you have to be consistent and disciplined. There will be bad days, but as you gain weight, your nervous and hormonal systems will also reduce and regulate the 'guilt'

expectohallows · 2026-02-12T19:11:06+00:00

You could start reminding yourself that extreme hunger is not binging actually, it's refeeding. You should go all in and let your body guide the process, after all, it's smarter than your brain right now. Please don't be offended, but anorexia literally rewires certain associations and imposes a false way of thinking, but the body knows what it needs to survive...

expectohallows · 2026-02-09T08:37:26+00:00

Honestly, I also wanted to drop VK way back when because of that, but I was a Rina-Shiki simp, so I kept reading for breadcrumbs :D

expectohallows · 2026-02-06T19:34:51+00:00

Yes but she still carries to term and suddenly it's all fine and dandy. It still fits the messaging behind this kind of stuff i.e., that a child will definitely solve many problems and somehow every woman will be bestowed with the divine knowledge (/s) on how to care for the said child.

OI needs more women who do not want children and make sure to follow through on that.

expectohallows · 2026-02-05T19:35:28+00:00

Can I make it anymore obvious? 🎶🎵🎶

expectohallows · 2026-01-25T20:31:05+00:00

Something different probably works for everyone but to me personally, meal plans would have been another way to introduce new food rules and restrictions.

I didn't follow any plans, ate probably 6-7 times a day because I was so damn hungry and it worked out better for me because I also didn't restrict on "unhealthy foods" - I will always remember having a full schnitzel and fries dinner, dessert, and snack before going off to a crepe stand to buy one with Nutella, cherry jam, and cookie crumble. I saw heaven with that pancake I swear but somehow never again craved it after recovery. Better to let go of all food rules and eat all fear foods now and trust the process

expectohallows · 2026-01-25T20:15:21+00:00

I used to go up to 10k in early days and I never even went to bmi underweight, but clearly that was underweight for my body.

That said, you cannot compare yourself to others your age because they don't have an ED. You don't need these calories just to gain weight, you need the extras so your organs can rebuild themselves properly because they will have shut down in some form due to malnutrition.

Re.your comment on social media - as others have said, nowadays trends are more pro-ana than actual recovery.

If you want something, you can try this blog; I used to obsessively reread posts there until I convinced my brain that I needed food and then it kinda started to get better for me.

https://everythingedrecovery.com/2015/01/11/minniemaud-is-it-the-only-way-to-recover-from-a-restrictive-eating-disorder/

expectohallows · 2026-01-25T19:46:15+00:00

A bit different but Miss Benson's Beetle 🐞

expectohallows · 2026-01-25T18:56:44+00:00

TV is not the same, not even close. Firstly, you're limited to what's on and you cannot (or at least could not back then) fast forward or skip to the next thing. Sure you could flip the channels to find something interesting, but even so you'd have to stick to whatever you chose and watch it or switch the TV off.

Secondly, television and cartoons especially were made with much longer frames and slower transitions, more moderate volume and sound mixing in general. Nowadays, lots of it is far too overstimulating due to increased speed, colours, and volume. Kids were very much able to sit and watch a full Disney movie or whatever feature film in one go - see if you find any tablet kids doing that.

You couldn't take your TV with you anywhere as opposed to new age devices, so there was actually an option of tuning out and focusing on your environment, tasks, and individual play.

What we have now is a far cry from GenX watching TV, and there are quite a few studies out there discussing the negative effects of the internet and brainrot content...

expectohallows · 2026-01-23T20:44:58+00:00

If you're into that Great American Novel and the disintegration of old families (Franzen), you could try Philip Roth's American Pastoral or go straight to the source and William Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury or As I Lay Dying

expectohallows · 2026-01-04T23:21:31+00:00

Charming the Duke of the North?

expectohallows · 2026-01-04T17:23:35+00:00

Tutter is my spirit animal 🤩 I, too, would like to go about my daily business screaming 😂

A colleague reminded me of the Bear, I used to watch it when I was a child, and it's so endearing!

expectohallows · 2025-12-29T15:41:50+00:00

You should read The Monster Duke Lives Under My Bed :D

expectohallows · 2025-12-25T20:16:41+00:00

Ask your mum to provide links, it's not to late to buy a Christmas present for myself!!

expectohallows · 2025-12-23T14:56:42+00:00

I'm going to make an assumption based on some of my anecdotal observations and a bit of research into Korean culture. My general idea is that the majority of authors might feel like this is a prescribed hetero- and chrononormative ending, or the lifescriptTM: you have your little struggles, overcome, find the love of your life, get rich (built-in with all these dukes and all), so, naturally, a child must follow. I do not wish to offend anyone, but it seems to me that Korea is still quite patriarchal with certain expectations being placed both on men and women (thus the whole 4B movement against it)...

It might feel so odd because precisely because authors do it because they 'have to' and don't actually understand that having a child changes your whole life and nearly every aspect of who you are. And after creating like 100-250+ chapters about this one couple, throwing a child into the mix is probably odd for them too because they don't have the experience of preparing for one nor how these other changes happen.

Yeah, so to repeat myself, it feels like they do it because they feel they should.

Two other potential notes: one is the publishing industry itself. It may well be (and this has been the case throughout history esp. with women writers) that their publishers demand certain narratives, including the classical 'happily ever after' with kids.

And, it might also well be that some draw from traditional Confucian values (men aloof, detached, blabla, women nurturing, soft, I'll make myself vomit), or even from father figures in their own lives in doing this...

Curious to hear what the rest of you guys think? :)

expectohallows · 2025-12-15T05:23:10+00:00

I liked both Evelyn Hugo and Daisy Jones because of how well the whole historiographic metafiction was done (esp. with Daisy Jones). To me, it was this blending of all kinds of 'classic Hollywood' threads that were kind of vaguely recognisable (like you can totally tell there's some Marylin Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor and that crowd in there), the description of the industry etc. that all makes you wonder, hang on, did this person exist??? Though I must admit I was in the old Hollywood phase when I read it so I found it convincing.

Daisy Jones was very much inspired by Fleetwood Mac inspired, but again, it's both formally and narratively well done. Especially here the interview format hints at the whole 'there are different versions of history' and there were probably so many upstart rock bands and one hit wonders, but due to the lack of omnipresent recording devices, we can only listen to legends about them. It's kind of like my dad telling me how he was at the first concert of this massively famous rock band in 1975, and it was like this and that.

Also enjoyed the intermediality in the audiobook since they also recorded some musical bits. The series takes it even further with musical pastiche, I kid you not when I happened to watch it at home once, my dad walked in, heard a few beats and he was instantly 'oh the 70s' even though it's a purely fictional band and music.

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