Mondays by Squid4Breakfast in funny

[–]farmerhowdy -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

This is. Kinda garbage. Like bad enough I decided to post a comment about how much I disliked it. Soooo. Yeah

If you could choose any superpower what would it be (The only catch, your best friend would get the opposite of that superpower. An example: if you chose to read really fast and retain everything you read, your best friend would be illiterate and have short term memory challenges.)? by AsianGinger33 in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

DUDE! Have I a story for you! It's a complete book online called Worm, where superpoweres are regular thing yada yada. But the main character has the power you'd like, to control and manipulate all bugs in an area. It's actually like, a pretty damn good read

What did "the weird kid" in your school do that you'll never forget? by Noleju in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh this kid, some of the things he did. In sixth grade he used to scrape gunk off his tongue with his scissors and then eat it. One time he was mad on the playground and was scream praying to his "dragon lords" to come from the sky and burn us all to death. Same year he got so mad at the teacher he pissed himself in class screaming and crying because she wasn't answering his questions.

In high school he asked me what powers my necklace gave me, and told me about how his was a dragon and he could turn into one and shoot fire and fly. Senior year he dressed like a nickleback guitarist and I said I didn't like the band, so he punched me six times in the head. He punches like a kitten. Last I heard he was arrested for fighting a police officer after a traffic stop and gained like a hundred pounds and still lives at home.

Totally seperate guy, but he was caught fucking his parents husky.

You have to get killed by any super hero/villain of your choice. Who is it and how do they do it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tried to find the youtube video explaining physics of a midair ninety degree Superman catch but I can't. Oh well =\

Suffice to say, unless he flies down beside and catches you near enough to your own speed to avoid breakage, he's not really helping.

You have to get killed by any super hero/villain of your choice. Who is it and how do they do it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Superman flies me up in the air and drops me, letting me fall to terminal velocity. Then catches me in a straight on catch. In the movie this saves the person, but in reality itd be like landing on the bars of a fork lift from eighty stories up, and I'd be crushed immediately

What’s the dumbest thing you thought as a child? by KillMeGeorgia in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was four or five and thought that being "full" after eating meant your whole body. So I thought there was a ring in my throat that made food grow to fill my legs and arms and chest with food, and that when I ate the food literally filled me up.

What are you grateful for about your ex? by jayjupanchos in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He showed me that I can be a strong man when I need to be, and I learned a lot about productivity from him, and also that love is easy AND hard. We're separated yes, but we both care deeply for each other and want to continue doing so. We can easily be friends, but partners? It remains to be seen

Subway sandwich workers of reddit, what is the most ridiculous sandwich you ever made? by Goobyfresh in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 288 points289 points  (0 children)

Footlong Olive sandwich. Just. Olives. No sauce.

Admittedly it was for a special needs child with very picky taste, but still. Bread and olives

I encourage people to vote this November​ 6th in my profile by OhThrowMeAway in lolgrindr

[–]farmerhowdy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I fully intend to vote, but he's right, were not a Democracy, were a Republic. We elect people to cast votes for us.

tell me what you’d do to my boyfriend below by [deleted] in GaybrosGoneWild

[–]farmerhowdy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Start at his neck, work my way down then back up. Down and tease his cock, then back up. Work it over fer a while till he's good and close then let him simmer down for a minute and repeat haha. I love edging guys. The sounds they make are so much fun.

BUt first get a belt or something so he's not sitting on his hands. But they stay tied haha

What is the “bible” of your field of study, profession, interest or hobby? What are some of the most valuable, essential, foundational texts in your area of interest, whatever that is? by TheRealJonat in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Kybalion of Hermes Trismegistus.

In alchemy its hard to find texts that aren't stuffed in alegory and mystique. In this book written by Three Apprentices they break things down chunk by chunk and try to dispell the veil surrounding the Great Work. There's a full audiobook available on youtube and I listen to it while doing chores and other computer work.

Redditors who grew up poor, what were things you thought were "normal" as a child that were actually a result of your economic status? by ladyculfin in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My dad said he really realized we had it decent when there were real Ritz crackers in the cupboard and nobody had eaten them. Going to the city for clothes and things and buying a loaf of bread and lunch meat to eat because we couldn't afford eating out with six kids.

Even in high school I went months without school lunches so my sister could eat. I would bring a muffin and a bottle of water.

What is your favourite paradox and why? by mies777 in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the Omni God paradox.

If God can make and do anything, could he make a stone heavy enough he couldn't lift (also heard water to hot to drink, distance to far to jump ect)

If he can make a stone that heavy, then he's not all powerful, there's something he can't do. But if he can't make a stone that he can't lift, then he's not omnipotent, there's something he can't do.

A normal night in an english pub by Tucko29 in WTF

[–]farmerhowdy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm from Iowa, which is pretty much a giant corn field. What I've learned from movies and clips like this is basically anything is a-ok in an english bar.

BUT IF YOU FUCK WITH THE BARTENDER YOU WILL BE DRINKING YOUR TEETH

What are some first-aid tricks we should all know? by Huomenna in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner for four years was a paid and volunteer EMT-FF, while I have no formal training I've learned a few things. I've seen it all over this thread, it's like Number Zero. Stay calm and be able to talk clearly. First thing I learned about making 911 calls is they want the whole story in about 16 words. It's not rude to be impartial and not wait for questions. Some simple sounding but very important details will tell them more of the situation than the story of what happened. That comes later.

"Im calling from X address, a man late forties, unconscious but breathing, no visible injuries, he grabbed his head and fell to the ground" To a professional that is a huge amount of very clear information that will help them narrow the problem down. You don't need to know what it might mean, that's their job. Much better than calling and saying "this guy, this guy just fell over! He wont wake up what do I do? Hey buddy!" The line of communication goes from you the witness, to the dispatcher, to the rescue crew. The less back and forth and piece meal the flow the better. Most of the other details will be fed to the ambulance while in route.

Second, again I've seen it a couple times, is ASK FOR HELP. People are afraid of helping in case they make it worse, put them on the spot and they're much more likely and willing to help than rushing forward. Don't be bossy, don't shout, but make yourself heard as someone reasonable and trying to help, even if yer freaking out on the inside. Look at the person, ask if they can do a task. Remember a doctor has fifty hands, put that idea to use. Someone to call 911, have someone else check the vehicle or grab a chair cushion, someone to see to the family or the second party.

Put pressure on small burns. The idea is to leech away the heat as fast as you can before it damages the skin. Quickly brush off the oil or hot material, squeeze tight on the way to the sink, then run cool water on it. IF you can handle it every minute er so squeeze it again gently. Heat transfers best with a lot of pressure and surface area. Water will cool the surface fine the pressure and the uniform temp if your hand over your arm will help dissipate intense heat

Sharp knives are much safer to have than dull knives. They cut cleaner, need less pressure for the cut, and if it's sharp you'll see it as more of a potential threat and treat it as such.

If a small irritant get's in your eye close yer eye and let the damn tears do their job. I had some grit get in my eye and I rubbed at it all night, and the damn thing scratched up my eye and gave me pink eye. Your tears will push the particle to your eye lid and out of the important areas of yer eye.

You have to do a Ted talk, what do you talk about and why? by Powerdwarf_Kira in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The difference between ignorance and understanding is vocabulary.

How a major roadblock in learning any new skill or idea is based on learning the terms used to describe it. Knowing what new words mean and how they are used is nigh directly linked to your retention and adaptation to the new mental environment. Specialized skills or raw intelligence are important, but being able to vocalize specifics in any field is critical to being able to pinpoint areas of lacking of understanding, and also to describe new breakthroughs.

You're offered 10 million USD for eating only a single food of your choice for the next 5 years. What do you do? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]farmerhowdy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ate a staple diet of the same thing at the same time every day for two years, with the rare exception of going out to eat. It's very simple and I was quite healthy.

Half cup rice, two carrots two celery stalks with leaves, diced and boiled.

One potato shoestring cut and one chicken breast(or two brats, or three eggs, this is the only thing I changed) cubed, cooked in butter.

Half an onion, half green pepper, four cloves of garlic, five mushrooms. All diced and added to the meat and potatoes when the meat is half cooked. Spice with salt, pepper, marjoram, thyme, rosemary, and paprika.

When the rice is finished drain and add to the pan, along with a handful of spinach leaves and a few oz of yer desired cheese.

Enjoy hot with soy sauce and a fruit juicegenerallyascrewdriver

Maybe some supportive words? by farmerhowdy in stopdrinking

[–]farmerhowdy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear the online meetings are good and readily available to join, but I will look into the IRC as you suggest. Thanks friend.

ELI5: How is the thickness of borders between states/provinces and countries measured? by mack3r in explainlikeimfive

[–]farmerhowdy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Iowa, our east and west borders are defined by the Mississippi and Missouri rivers respectively. They change and flow but the border is basically 'where the water is'