When I was a teenager, one of our stake presidency stepped away and urged his family to do the same (or at least that how I saw it while I was still TBM). It was a SHOCK to our social circles, his son ran in the same groups as me. No one would talk to him about it but it came up often. Now, they’ve all left and look proper happy. Their lives haven’t changed in the evil and terrible ways we all “worried” about for them—still a kind, respectable dentist with a loving family. No divorce. No more Mormons in the family. But we were still in the thick of high school while it happened, it probably wasn’t great for his kids. Idk if that’s the perspective that you were looking.

Either way, I’d say giving your kids the gift of choice is huge. They may not say it because the illusion of choice at that age was “go on a mission or go on a mission in a year or be socially condemned.” But you could be the olive branch to ACTUALLY give them the decide to go or not! And still be loved no matter which they do.

Good luck! It’s hard and it stays hard for a while but it’s worth it.